Write In The Middle Of It

The cold didn’t seem to faze Erik one bit as he walked all the way home. By the time he reached his front door, his hand was clammy with sweat as he pulled out his key.

He wasn’t sure if it was the unusually brisk walk, the weed or the tension of the moment, but as Erik entered his apartment, he found it difficult to breathe. He shut and locked his door, didn’t take off his shoes, threw his coat over the back of his couch and flopped on it.

The proverbial cat was out of the bag and there was no turning back from it now. He buried his head in his hands as he thought to himself.

This was not the way it was supposed to go down. I never thought I was going to tell her. Shit, I still didn’t tell her.

He got up and walked over to his immaculate kitchen, opened the refrigerator door, stared at the perfectly faced water bottles and grabbed one forcefully off of the shelf causing the rest to fall over. Normally that would have caused him to go into a frenzy fixing and cleaning the mess, but he didn’t care now. He just let the refrigerator door shut and flopped back over on the couch. He drank from the water bottle heartily until it caved in and made a popping sound. With that he closed his eyes, sighed heavily, and returned to his thought process.

He never expected Kevin and Mekayla to break up. For all intents and purposes, he liked Kevin. The only thing he didn’t admire about him was he seemed unusually selfish. He didn’t do all the little things that women sometimes needed to make them feel secure, but then again who was he to talk. The women that Erik used to deal with used to say that he was insensitive, that he never took the time to know them, and that it didn’t seem to them that he cared. The truth was maybe he didn’t.

But Mekayla he knew everything about. She loved flowers, jazz, bubble baths, and Pepsi. She didn’t have a favorite color because she loved them all. Her favorite season was Autumn and during that time of year she would chew cinnamon gum and drink root beer like it was going out of style.

Her first male crush was on Rick James and sometimes she would play Fire and Desire over and over and over again in her room and pretend she was Teena Marie. The thought of that made Erik chuckle to himself with his eyes still closed. She loved Swedish Fish and Gummy Bears and at times Erik would be at the corner store and pick her up a pound of each. When he would come to the door he would toss them at her and her smile would light up the room. She would kiss him on his cheek and Erik would be able to smell her perfume, which in the Autumn would be Obsession, the Spring African Musk, Summer Perry Ellis, and Winter a warm vanilla oil that he bought her the first Christmas they became friends.

But none of this mattered now. I basically just fucked our whole friendship up; I can’t go back now. He took another hearty swig from the water bottle and rested his head on the arm of the couch. Then he jumped up and walked back over to the kitchen and stared at the cordless phone on its holder on the wall.

Okay genius, call her up and say what? Apologize? He began pacing back and forth.

I am not going to apologize for how I feel. It’s not that I ‘m glad Kevin and her broke up but I thought that since she saw that I was always there for her…

He stopped in mid thought and sat on the stool where Mekayla would sit and complain about his stir fry. And I will still be there for her fuck that. With that, he jumped up grabbed his keys and his coat and damn near ran out the door. He walked to the corner store and saw fresh cut lilies by the door, picked out the multicolored ones and told the lady behind the counter the usual. The older woman smiled at him and methodically measured out a pound of Swedish Fish and a pound of Gummy Bears, but when Erik’s back was turned, she added more to each bag. When he reached the counter the woman smiled at him with a twinkle in her eye as she grabbed his hand. This took Erik somewhat by surprised as his brow rose in confusion.

“You are such a good boy, “the woman said affectionately and she patted his hand before she added, “Your girlfriend is a very lucky girl.”

This caused the expression on Erik’s face to soften and he smiled at the woman while handing her his money.

“Thank you,” he said almost under his breath. The woman gave him his change, smiled softly and walked away. Erik left the store less angry and more sentimental. He decided to walk slowly to Mekayla’s, leave the flowers and candy by her front door, and call her in the morning for coffee.