Wraith

It was Saturday around 4 am. Seiko's eyes were heavy, but she was restless. She had been waking up in a sweat and a throbbing headache every night around this time. With a mug in her hand, she walked out to her balcony to feel the cool, alleviating breeze of the beach. Her cheeks and nose felt a deep warmth with every sip she took of her rooibos tea. It was 94 degrees in Miami and even waking up in her own sweat did not stop her from enjoying a hot cup of tea. It was her waking custom from living all those years in the frigid state of Maine. Why can I never remember my dreams? She thought to herself. She also couldn’t remember the events of the past week, or year, even. She recalls enjoying her first four months living in Miami, but now, every day was elusive. Dreadful. Filled with the unbearable weight of self-discipline. Though she was noted as an admirable and successful marketing director, her life outside of work deemed nonexistent.

Seiko's thoughts always came back to her childhood. She was a good girl. Living with an alcoholic father who seemed to have a new girlfriend every month did not bother her. She strove to make her father happy and to keep him out of trouble. She remembered packing him sandwiches for work every day. It was her birthday present to herself. She was 7. She bitterly smiled at the thought of another child doing that for their birthday. Poor kid.

Seiko's mother had left them, unannounced, right before her 6th birthday. She remembers coming home after-school and realizing that mom was missing- along with her clothes and jewelry. Later that year they learned that her mother was seeing the CEO of her financial group. They both fled the country with no regard to the families they were leaving behind. The only mail they received from her were divorce papers, which her dad reluctantly signed a year later. Seiko grew up watching her dad slowly degenerate deeper into his sadness. Does love always disappoint? she wondered. Or does disappointment weigh solely on humans and our expectations for something unattainable?

She sighed and shook her head as to shake her past away. With her eyes closed, she sunk into her rocking chair and listened to the boisterous tune of the night critters begging her to join them in their nightly revelries. It was almost a nightly occurrence for her to join them.  The soft rocking of her chair did little to comfort her, so she got up and took off her black, cotton nightie and slid into her running shorts, a tee, and sandals. She was off to yet another walk to the beach.

As she approached the usually vacant beach, she noticed a woman walking on the shore. They shared the same long black hair and petite- stature, but it was too dark to make out her face. Odd. People my age are usually found at Club Space at this hour.

Seiko took off her sandals and walked towards the cool water. The stars were nowhere in sight despite the clarity of the night. Water mirrors what we cannot see in ourselves. Her body tensed up the deeper she stepped into the cool water. Goosebumps covered her body. As she approached the deep abyss, she let it carry the weight of desolation from her. Water mirrors what we cannot see in ourselves. This unwavering thought resurfaced when she visited the beach, as if someone were whispering it to her.

“I always see you here," the lady startled Seiko out of her trance. “Oh! uh...", she couldn't think of what to say, "Really? I have never seen you here. I come here almost every night. My name is Seiko”, Seiko responded. “Oh, I live in Casa Del Mar too. I usually sit on my balcony, it faces the beach, so I always see who comes and leaves the beach. You're the only one at this time of night. I have been meaning to join but you always seem deep in thought”, the lady said.

Seiko started to swim back to shore get a better look at her new friend. “Well, I have got to go, enjoy your swim”, the lady said as she hastily walked back to the paved street. Seiko continued to walk out of the water. When was the last time I talked to someone outside of work? Months? As she walked back home, she made note to ask the lady's name if she saw her again. She thought she had met everyone at the Casa Del Mar apartments on her first year in Miami. Everyone she had met were frequent partygoers or older lonely people with cats, surely, she would have remembered this woman.

On Monday night, Seiko decided to visit the beach again. She had a migraine that throbbed and blurred her vision the more she moved. Why is this happening? I run every day, eat healthy, and never drink. It only seems to get worse. I should see a doctor. As she approached the shore, the same woman was there but she was sitting on the sand with her head and arms to her knees, as if crying.

“Hey, are you ok?”, Seiko asked while standing in front of her and reaching for the woman's right shoulder. “Don't act like you don't know”, the lady explained, “You've got the world at your fingertips and act like you're a starving, destitute orphan. She left us. Get over it. Why are you wasting us away?nFather needs you. You need you.”. The lady's head lifted up, with her fine, black hair unveiling her face slowly.

Seiko gasped and leaned back. The lady was an exact mirror of herself. Was this a dream? Seiko was not scared but her confusion blurred her vision even further. Her heart was pounding, and blood was rushing through her veins, almost burning with anxiety. “What do you want?”, Seiko asked, her nose clogging up from her tears. The lady, calm and with a smile of her face, stood up and took Seiko's hand. “I'm here to set us free”, she responded.

They both started walking towards the water. Seiko did not fight it. She let herself be led deeper and deeper into the Atlantic, her toes no longer being able to reach the sand. I want to be free. I want to be free. I want to be free. I am... drowning?! The realization came too late. Seiko tried to reach for the surface cinder blocks seemed to be tied to her ankles. I don't want to die. I can't die! Father will have no one left! As she made the last attempts to swim to surface, all she could see was a white light, getting brighter and brighter. She closed her eyes and stopped moving. I want to be free. I want to be free. I want...

“Clear!”

A tremendous shock struck her body. She leaned up, gasping violently for air, she opened her eyes, her vision still blurred. Hospital bed. People in lab coats. What happened? “Ma'am, you're going to have to lie back down. You're okay now.”. Without hesitation, Seiko leaned back and drifted into the deepest sleep she had ever had.

The next day, the doctor had told Seiko that she had suffered from cardiac arrest and that a jogger had called an ambulance when he saw her body on the shore. She had drowned.

“You're extremely lucky, had the jogger found you any later, I am not sure you could have survived. Do you remember anything at all? You father told us you're a great swimmer. Were you with anyone? Do you know how you could have drowned?”. Seiko looked at the doctor, with tears in her eyes, recalling the woman she had seen at the beach. Did that ever happen? "No", she told him. “Well, your father is here to pick you up. He is finishing some paperwork. When you're dressed, you're free to go”, the doctor said.

Seiko felt light and filled with an intoxicating joy she had never experienced before. I am alive and father is okay. I am okay. I am free.