Wide Awake

Hands all together reaching sky high, each palm piecing the red rose made by the sun casting its spell through a stained glass ceiling above. A golden glistion in all their eyes, tiny hearts hanging from a thread by the overgrown vines adorn with sharp thorns. Yet, when the fragile string breaks each fall bouncing off the palms that casts a shadow, hiding away the broken pieces that crashed against the cracked stone at their feet. There you stand, eyes blinking from the haze as fingers curl away from the Grand Rose. In the light, dancing dust of the red tint stone room full of people in rags, but in the dark where the red can’t reach is truth left ignored.

‘Don’t dare say a word child.’ a subconscious voice speaks in warning whispers.

Catching notice of the subtle movements of the vines crawling like snakes across the floor. Waiting. Listening. They wait for a reason to wrap around you, forever latching onto every word you ever spoke in your life. Step carefully, don’t let them find out your past, keep any mistakes as secret, because they’re unforgiving. Now they follow where you go, ever interested why you could ever want to leave the unity called ‘family’.

Pushing past the shoulder tight crowd, their unbreaking devotion stares up as you make your way barefoot across the uneven stone ground; between the cracks new life trying to grow although stomped away obliviously. Search the darkness, keep eyes wide open and look for the light to follow that isn’t red. Hands reaching out to grab onto you, their hollow voices in unison echo, promising they know the truth while your feet scrape the ground wanting to run. The glimmer sparkle of gold falling catches your attention, hands cupped together catching something small you pull close to your heart; suddenly the feeling of feet kicking and hands hitting at your back as your body flies out of the hold across the floor.

“No longer.” whisper of echoes from the unity. “A fool. The ignorant. A traitor to the Grand Rose.” they continue, sharp dagger-like strikes hitting at your sides from the vines as if by command.

Quickly, you press your fisted hands to the ground pushing up standing to your feet- Slipping on the smooth stone disturbing the dust causing a cloud in the air, reaching out a hand to catch yourself against the wall of throned vines that sting your palm. Pulling away while holding close the catch of gold, the subconscious scared child inside your mind guides the way towards the nearest way out. Run, run as fast as your feet can handle, you’re no longer part of the cast instead an outcast.

Sounds of voices in harmony change the direction you run, the soothing melody taking you to a door being slowly blocked by the vines that barely catch you by the rags you wear. A glance back, you no longer see the red glow of the room, but ahead of you was a dirt path with two wide rivers on either side; above you a row of green stained glass allowing light to shine in. The singing still continues to echo off the walls, the urge to open in song growing stronger until you let out a hum that you kept in.

Silence leaving you the only one humming, you stop, clutching the little gold ever closer seeing muted colored merfolk rise from either river side. Each blinded by a black fabric tied tightly around their heads, their smiles ever friendly and welcoming to you. Beckoning you along down the path, your feet follow as they softly hummed for you easing the tension of your body. The hallway opens wider to a grand greenhouse dome, your path ending at a bridge crossing over the intersecting rivers over to what looks like a perfect city. Seen from afar people seeming to be free and happy, a step forward of your left foot touches the wood of the bridge just as something cold touches your relaxed hand.

‘Keep your distance from the bridge they claim goes to utopia,’ the voice comes back to say in the back of your mind.

Snapping your attention to what was touching you, your eyes catch them trying to take hold of the precious heart in your hands! In panic you snatch your hand away and stumble backward away from the bridge; seeing the water dwellers bare their long, sharp teeth in anger to you and the people across all stand staring aimlessly with blindfolds on just like the sirens.

‘It’s all a lie they all believe while aware they blind themselves.’ it says.

Scanning the dome you find a hidden stone path across the left river, running towards it to leap on the first stone while trying to avoid all of the clawed hands. It became more clear the odd color of the water, it was something seeping from beneath the scales of the sirens. ‘Poison’ your subconscious warns, alarms ringing in your mind along with their screeching that pierce your ears. ‘Drink the water while hearing their song, you’ll blindfold yourself believing everything they say as the truth. You should have been aware of them before, that all they wanted was to drag you in just like the red room. Run. Run fast, don’t slip!’ The voice speaks further, mind racing as your heart matches the pace.

“We are the way!” the sirens screech in unison as like the group before. “We know what's better for you! We know what's the truth! You know nothing- We need to protect and control the ignorant for a utopia!” As your feet make it to the last stone, you feel the grasp of your feet to the stone almost slip, but you’re able to leap across barely touching the edge of the entrance. You run forward at a pace until you balance yourself to a stop. Chest heavy and throat dry from the air being exhaled and inhaled so quickly, you place a hand to your chest while your eyes wander your new surroundings.

There's only one way, again… Your feet move forward as they softly echo off the cold stone, wondering what was ahead next as you ball your fist tight, protecting the golden heart safe this time. This time it's a long dimly lit hallway of hanging blacked out paintings on crumbling stone walls. Faint voices grow louder, more clearly able to hear shouting and screaming of a crowd until it’s unavoidable to ignore as you reach yet another large room. A gathering of people like the red room, only hands in fists with mouths wide open in anger and no stain glass in sight. Just wildfire lighting the room, everything in chaos in a ruined mess, rocks flying through the air at a sing- A sound shakes your entire body as it blends in with the screams of the people, a roar of a lion so loud the fires above flickered to the wind from the lungs.

Eyes following a damaged and old pillar up in the center of the circling people, there sat a statue of a lion with its mouth open wide as it faced upward rather than at the crowd. It didn’t move, didn’t seem alive, but nothing else could have made such a thundering sound. Focusing on the people, their words become more clear as you listen and they ignore you.

“It’s your fault!” a woman screams with a hoarse voice, violently throwing her hands all around uncaring who they hit around her.

“I hate you! You are the cause of our problems and issues and unrest!” another woman screeches. “We can’t see the sun with you here!” she adds.

“Why won’t you fix us?! Why won’t you fix what's wrong with us?! Don’t you dare try to change us!” a man cries in his own roar, yet nothing to compare to what was heard before.

A glance to the statue then the crowd, it makes your head spin in confusion yet curiosity. You take a moment to ponder, then you step away to find the next exit, but then look back with the question still lingering in your mind. It bugged you. Next thing you knew, you were next to somebody tugging on their sleeve to question. “What did the Lion do?”

Still filled with rage that the knuckles of his hands were white from how tightly folded shut, the man snapped his head around, turning his shouting at you. “You don’t know?!” he questioned you, as if some ignorant fool. “This lion ruined our lives! It caused all of our problems and was unable to make our lives any better! He tries to change us and won’t help fix us!”

The shouting makes you hesitant, though you still speak your mind to the man. “It’s just… a statue, made of stone. The lion can’t do anything, you could fix everything you-” your cut off as the man pushes you back to fall against the ground. More eyes turning to stare with the same enraged emotions.

“How could you even say that- You don’t understand anything and make no sense!” more of the people turn away from the lion to focus on you. “Don’t tell us what to do! You. Know. Nothing! And you’re part of the problem, you stand with the lion!” he screams louder.

“I-I don’t! I just came into the room not lo-” again you’re cut off, but this time by the rest of the crowd. They all start spouting what they were saying before, this time at you despite having only spoken words, nothing else. You curl into a ball as there isn’t a way out, clutching onto the golden heart you stare at into your hands.

‘You were warned not to speak, yet you did.’ the voice returns as the echoing sounds fade into the back of your mind. ‘Even if you did nothing wrong, you’re to blame, even in place of the dead man who, somehow, you inherit his sins. Logic has no place if it doesn’t follow the rules, even if there is no way to know these rules and they constantly keep changing. Even repenting won’t save you, this will forever brand you in the eyes of everyone.’ it falls silent, everything falling silent.

Staring at the glimmering gold, it’s the small piece of hope that you aren’t sure how it kept you going this long. When you refuse to be part of the crowd, when you refuse to accept blinding yourself and even when you try to stand your ground. You use your thumb to feel its smooth surface, noting there is a line on the side as if it could be opened. Carefully, you do.

Light seeping from within the locket spill out the further its opened, this beautiful sense of peace washing away the surroundings around you as all the voices become mute. Your body feels heavy, everything turns black, feeling something under your cheek that's warm and a bit wet… Eyes fluttering open, desks with students sitting in matching chairs can be seen and as you sit up, it's clear you’ve been drooling in your sleep. Reality sets back in again, the world you’ve been growing in and trying to make sense of. In your balled hand something small, uncurling the fingers reveal an opened heart locket with its string missing. Inside of the hearts tiny mirrors that reflect the small portions of your face back to you.