Why did she kill her own baby?

Marisa stood in shock in the bathroom as she stared at the home kit pregnancy test. She was pregnant. She suspected as much when she had missed her period. When she and her boyfriend Dex had sex about a month ago, they had not taken any precautions. She wasn't on the pill anymore because they had stopped having sex when he broke up with her saying she was being too clingy and controlling. Then he showed up at her apartment door, telling her how much he had missed her and how much he loved her and before she knew it they were going at it with what she thought was the best make-up sex of her life. So when she didn't get her period about a week ago, she suspected it. Something was different about the way she felt. It wasn't just a late period. That amazing night of make-up sex had created a baby.

Marisa had never been pregnant before. She was 25 years old and whatever lover she had been with she'd either been on the pill or he had been sure to use a condom. There had been no accidents or unplanned sex. She had been very careful not to get pregnant because she knew she wasn't married and she couldn't afford to take care of a baby. She was barely staying afloat herself. Though she worked full-time at the daycare watching other people's kids, she wasn't that interested in having her own baby. She knew how much work they were. She knew how expensive it was. She knew she didn't have the time to give to the child or the energy after working all the hours she had to work just to pay her rent and bills.

Now this was a serious dilemma. She and Dex were not married. They had known each other since high school, but they were always making up and breaking up. She loved him very very much, but he was so immature about things. He couldn't stick to a job for very long and all he ever wanted to do was travel. Whenever he did get some money, he'd go on another trip. Then he'd come back and show her photos and sometimes bring her a gift. He never invited her to go with him, but she just shrugged it off because she had her job and that was her life. She couldn't think at this moment. She was pregnant. It was all wrong. Dex wasn't the marrying type of guy. She knew him too well. Still, she didn't want to make this decision all on her own, so she decided to call him and tell him.

"Hey girl, what's up?' Dex answered his cell phone.

"Dex, I'm pregnant. Do you want me to do this or should I get an abortion?" she blurted out. The faster she spit it out the easier it was.

There was a painful silence for the longest minute that ever transpired until he finally replied.

"What makes you think it's mine?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," she said hurt but resolved, "Ok, I'll have the abortion. Goodbye." Then she hung up quickly and went to her laptop to look up an abortion clinic. She called them up to find out if she could get an appointment and what the cost was going to be.

The clinic nurse was very nice and explained that since she had only missed one period she could still qualify for the nonsurgical procedure. The cost was less and it was much safer. The nurse scheduled her for the most immediate appointment which was the next day.

Marisa arrived at the clinic the next day at her scheduled time and was shocked to see a large truck of abortion protestors in the parking lot. They were yelling things like "Baby killers should go to jail!" and "God will not forgive you!" Marisa could not believe she had to listen to this as she was trying to get out of her car and walk into the clinic.

She tried to rush towards the door but one of the protestors got in front of her path and stopped her.

"Excuse me Miss, Miss," the protestor badgered her, "Are you going in there for an abortion."

"That's really none of your business," Marisa said trying to get past the protestor.

"Well, God is watching us and He cares. Do you believe in God?" the protestor kept on.

"Yes, I do," Marisa said, "Now can I get by please?"

"I just don't want you to make the biggest mistake of your life," the protestor said to Marisa, "You know there are other options. You could give the baby up for adoption and let another family have the joy of raising one of God's beautiful creations."

Marisa took a deep breath and stared at the protestor as if she wanted to kill the protestor.

"Look, whoever you are," Marisa said agitated and firmly, "I was adopted and that family was a fucking nightmare, ok? I will not put another baby through this shit. I am not marrried and I don't make enough money. If you think a baby should be brought to this world to suffer because God doesn't like abortions, well that's your opinion. I think God already knows that I fucked up, and this is my way of correcting my fuck up. Ok? And if you don't move out of my way, I'm going to run you over."

The protestor moved out of Marisa's way and Marisa rushed into the clinic.