Where Am I?

Where AM I?

So I've decided to compile these collections so that there's proof of what I've been experiencing should anything happen to me; maybe for my kids to find, or for me to give to them, one day (hopefully give). Maybe if they're like me this will help answer some questions. I hope. Ok, here I go..

June 26

So tonight, as I was meditating, I fell asleep (lol, again) and began falling off the chair, but as I was being awakened by my loss of balance, I distinctly remember being somewhere else, like absolutely, unequivocally concretely somewhere else. I don’t know who that person was that I was with but they felt realistic; not like the other characters in other dreams. And what’s most startling is that as I was coming to, while simultaneously realizing I was somewhere else, I asked “where am I?” as if to ground myself in whichever reality I woke up in. What the hell was that? More importantly, where was that? I know I tend to have recurring dreams and I also dream of things that do come true (not earth-shattering but nonetheless..) but this was different. This reminds me of the 2nd part of that recurring dream where my characters didn’t realize they were a part of my dream – which totally freaked me out and caused me to make myself wake up. But this was different. Where was I????...And, can I go back? Would I get stuck there?

July 7

Ok, so I did my full moon ritual and as always it was good. I did ask my pendulum if I was somewhere else, and it answered yes. I know they’re meant to reveal what your subconscious knows, so on some level I’m not surprised. I did ask for that place to be revealed, or clarified (whatever I can handle) to me. I remember the last time I reached out to the benevolent spirits whom I invited in and they did reveal their presence but I clearly wasn’t ready for that (lol). Maybe where I was will be revealed in my dreams. I mean, I've had dreams about things that did come to pass in this reality. Like when I dreamed about the "surprise" reveal of that show I'm watching, only to see it come to pass months later. (And so many other things, like that scenario in grad school, or so many other minute mundane happenings that I've easily forgotten but couldn't shake the deja vu feeling when it did happen). So yeah, if I can receive things in that realm, then I can get clarity there too. It’s just that, well, my dreams aren’t always so easily controllable. I’m usually going at the pace it sets and not what I want to set it at; although that is getting better, but still. What if I go somewhere and I’m out of control of how things are going? Or how it ends? What if I get stuck and can't come back to my body? Oh God, is that even a thing? No, I'm not ready. I don't, no I can't allow that. That's a little too trippy for me. God, I’m really nervous, but I REALLY want to know if I have the ability to go other places once asleep. And if I can do that, can I influence things in this reality? Will some of my other more lasting and concrete dream elements show up here, like when I dreamed of winning the lottery? Oh if only! Ok. What I'll do is I’m gonna ask for guidance and for only bits to be shown to me, or me taken to it, whatever, just bits, not chunks. Ok V, breathe. You’ll be fine. You’re supported. And besides, if you weren’t ready, then why that experience? Why the lifelong recurring dreams, altered realities within them, why the foreseeing? Right? Right… ?

July 8

So pretty much a mostly regular dream but I did experience being in a relationship and that feeling was soo real, so tangible. Like I still feel it, as if that was a real, or is a real relationship here, now. I'll keep journaling.

July 12

Ok, so most of last night's dream is fading and fuzzy but what I clearly recall is someone telling me to remember that this is a dream but that yes, I am also somewhere else (and without them saying it I knew they were referring to another reality - just as tangible, just as true as what I know). It was a brief moment in the middle of the dream sequence but it was set apart from the rest of it. Hmmm..ok, that wasn't so bad. I'm gonna try to say "remember" was I go to sleep and see what that does.

July 17

There was that feeling again, that unmistakable, palpable feeling of being somewhere else but this time people knew me. They remembered me, apparently, from my last dream and apparently we had exchanged pleasantries because they moved with me as if I was familiar, and I with them. This place wasn't some far-fetched blue-sky-pink-grass kind of place. No, it could easily be mistaken for here, except it wasn't. I don't know how to explain it but it wasn't. I feel like I'll see them again.

Aug 3

Another fading dream but for some unshakable reason I remember/know that I was shown how to alter my reality, well really my life. Something about seeing it, feeling it as real as the feeling of that relationship that I dreamt about, and then something else but that part has faded too. Ughh!!! Damn. Ok, I'll try to get clarity on that part but in the meantime I'll do the other 2 parts; hopefully that's all that's needed and it'll work. I'll keep you posted. Also, I'm not as afraid of going to wherever it is I go. They seem to be ok with me visiting periodically.

Aug 17

So this isn't dream-related, per se, but it does have to do with things I've mentioned. So since my last entry I've met someone and, I kid you not, our connection feels just like the one I dreamed about, like to the tee. How do I know? Because it's so familiar it's as if I've done it already, and I can assure you I have not experienced this in my waking moments on this plane. No, this is directly from my dream. And yes, I did apply that technique to this part of my life. I can't believe it but somehow I'm pleasantly not surprised. Wow. It's indescribable! This feeling, this knowing, this familiarity. . . I'm gonna try it in another area.

Sept 3

Oh My God!!!!! I won money!!!! Like not the whole lottery but definitely a nice amount!! Like exactly what I need!!! The scene didn't play out exactly as I dreamed it so long ago (in terms of whom I told and how I told them - although I still did just not in the same way), but dammit who cares!!!! Ahhhhhh!!! OMG!! Ok, Ok..ok. So, this works. This ability to alter my life works. What they told me works. I haven't seen them since but I can't wait to so I can tell them what's been happening! This is insane!!! And my relationship, still going strong. Just as I've imagined!! I even told him; he's starting to believe but honestly, it doesn't even matter. I feel like I've gotten the cheat codes to my life! OMG!!!!

Sept 18

I went there again! And like before we picked up as if my coming was expected. Man, I wish I could detail the conversation but unfortunately that's fading fast but I do remember being excited so I'm guessing I told them and I vaguely remember a look of satisfied knowing, like yes, she figured it out. It was so nice. So easy. The interactions felt like home, like family. I wonder if my children will have this ability. I'll share with them what I know, and now they have this. Oh, and I almost forgot, he tells me that I talk in my sleep but not in any way that's understandable. He said it reminds him of those languages from Star Trek or one of those sci-fi shows. Weird, right?

Oct 12

Tonight this will be my last journal. I feel like I don't want to jot down too much. I've experienced enough that I can share it by word of mouth. Also, for some reason, I feel I need to be protective of this, of them. I did my full moon ritual last night then went to sleep, while meditating (lol). I got there more easily and the dream wasn't as cluttered. I remember more of what was said, how things felt, answers to questions. I have this unshakeable peace of knowing..things. How they can work, how they can be "made to order" so to speak, and other things. I'll share them with my loved ones but only a select few. I know most will think me crazy but only those few will know. I'll show them. This will be our family's secret.