When we go Home

As I began to walk around, I could tell that something was not quite right. Everything was moving in slow motion and kind of blurred. Had I hit my head or was I dreaming, I couldn’t tell at this point. I was watching a scene unfold in front of me, it was meant to be hectic and chaotic. I had to be dreaming there is no other explanation, but when did I even get home last night.

As the scene continued to unfold in front of me, I tried to remember exactly what had happened or at least my last memory. I had been out with Matt to dinner. I met him at our favorite spot the little diner in town. He said he had important news to tell me and wanted to do it face to face instead of over the phone. We had been dating for a little over 2 years and even through our first semester at college and long distance, we had made it work. He was my heaven. He knew me inside and out as I did him. We just fit.

As I arrived at the diner, I sat in our corner booth and Mary brought over our normal waters and took our never changing order. “Hoot, Hoot”. I was shaken from my thoughts as the loudest sound pierced my ear drums. In that moment I couldn’t remember why I knew that sound, but it was so familiar and comforting. I gazed around and now all I could see where people running around and lights flashing. Everything was still distorted and slow motion but still very overwhelming.

My mind went back to the diner as Matt walked in. He always looked good no matter the time of day or where we were going. He smiled that million-dollar smile, bent down and kissed me, and placed himself across from where I was sitting. I could tell from his eyes he had something weighing on him, but he still smiled. He began to speak but I heard no words, it was as if I had lost my hearing. Out of nowhere I began to sob and shake and the next thing I remember is being in my car. I tried to recall our conversation but all I felt was pure sadness.

“Hoot, Hoot”. The sound was even louder this time. I felt as if my ear drums would burst and I was back in that very moment, but now, it was not in slow motion or blurry I was fully awake. Where was I? The road looked familiar, but I couldn’t understand what I was doing in the middle of nowhere. As people buzzed around me, I could see they were fireman, police officers and paramedics. Ahead I could see a car but couldn’t make out what it was, and I saw the paramedics huddled around what I could assume was a person lying on the ground.

“Hoot, Hoot”. That sound, what was it? Was no one else hearing it? I turned and there I saw a beautiful snow-white owl gazing at me. When I looked at its face comfort and warmth came over my body. It hit me all at once in that moment the reason that sound and owl were so familiar. My grandmother had owned a farm and there was an old barn on the property. I would play in the barn in the summertime even though my grandmother told me not to. It was old and smelled of dust and mold. At night the family of barn owls that lived in there would come out and you would hear them hooting through the air. They were not white, but the sound was the same.

My grandmother never attempted to rid the barn of the owls, she said they brought some sort of peace to the night even though they were loud. She thought they were beautiful. The way they glided through the night air, she said they made her feel the freedom they had. She died not long after I left for college of a massive stoke. Maybe that’s why that sound is so comforting. It reminds me of the summers I spent with her.

After what felt like forever, I turned away from the owl to go over and see what was going on. I must have witnessed the crash and passed out, but where was my car? As I walked towards the group of men and women I looked ahead. My heart sank. That is not possible! There was my car wrapped around a tree. How am I up and standing? I looked at my arms and legs and nothing was there. My skin looked brand new. There was no way I walked away from that without a scratch. It would have been a miracle. I needed to know what was going on. I ran towards the men and women but when I reached them, I saw the horror of what they were looking at.

There I was, broken. I was staring down at myself, but it was not the self I had known. My body was distorted, my face scrapped, bruised and swollen beyond recognition. At that very moment I knew I was watching the end. I scremed at the top of my lungs in hope I could magically make myself come to life. Then I heard it. “Official time of death 10:47pm.” I fell to the ground. I couldn’t breathe, but did it matter if I was dead.

My mind raced. Was this the end? No white lights, no feeling of peace or joy? Just me watching as I was covered with a sheet and hauled away. At that very moment I heard it.

“Hoot, Hoot.” I looked over at the owl, tears streaming down my face. With a sudden warmth that enclosed my body I started to float away from the accident. As I looked forward in shock and confusion, I saw the owl leading the way and a very bright light that seemed miles away.

I floated for what seemed an eternity. Thoughts of my family, Matt and my whole life flooded like a movie playing in front of me. All the good memories from my childhood, my grandmother. Once I stopped, I realized I was encased in nothing but white light and what felt like peace. That was it. Nothingness but white and peace. I heard the sudden wispier “I missed you.” As I turned around the owl suddenly began to morph and before me was my grandmother. She was not the same. She was a vibrant young woman. The woman I had only known in pictures.

At that moment I was no longer scared. I knew I was home.