When Animals Reveal What They've Been Hiding

Cat calls in the alley -

wolf whistles in the dark.

If I had to tally -

all the come-ons, in the park.

I'd need a calculator,

to keep track of all the times.

Like some professional "speed-dater"

rating all these pick-up lines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to her standing over me, panting in my face, again. Our morning ritual.

"Ok, ok...I'm getting up," I promised, as I rolled over, rubbing the slobber onto my pillow.

She bounded around my legs, making it hard to get my feet secured into my favorite fuzzy slippers, the ones she decided should be toeless. As I groggily made my way to the back door, I thought I heard someone say.

"You know, you are only in charge, because you have thumbs, right?"

I adjusted my glasses and squinted down at her, smiling up at me, "did you hear that?" I asked her, as she continued pouncing up and down like a rubber yoyo. "Of course, you didn't, you're too busy yelling at me to open the door, ok...there you go. Hurry and go pee and I'll get your breakfast ready." As the door began to close, I heard the voice again.

"You call that mess breakfast? Thats just a pile of wet slop. If I had thumbs, I'd be eating that bacon you have thawing in the fridge, with a side of those biscuits and gravy you wouldn't share with me last night."

As I turned, she was still squatting. In fact, she was still talking.

"I mean, what's the big deal? I sleep on your pillow, I lay on your towel, and when you're not looking, I drink out of your glass. Why is sharing so difficult for you? I share everything!"

As she looked up, and our eyes met, she realized I had heard it all, she let out a gasp, and said:

"Well, shit."

I felt my knees begin to buckle and the room began to spin. I reached over to the coffee maker, to grab a cup of - you are officially hallucinating and need excess amounts of caffeine, and now! Before I could down the first delicious, lifesaving gulp, in she came, through the doggie door.

Damn, I thought. I forgot to shut the door.

She was licking my face and mumbling at the same time. I was trying not to spill my coffee, while getting myself off of the floor and into my favorite chair. My comfort, my security. But no, she was there, in my face. Talking.

"Listen, Jill...I have been trying to find the right time to let you know. I wanted to tell you, So many times. I mean, come on, you had to have had some clue. We are so close. You tell me everything. How did you think you figured all of those Sunday paper riddles; I was feeding you the answers, you know you don't spell very well, JILL."

As I tried to make my way to the shower to find the clarity, I needed in my 12-setting - super boost massage wand, she continued, yapping.

"Please, I said, just give me a minute."

I sat down on the toilet to remove my slippers. She sat quietly at my feet. And in that moment of quiet, I gazed down into those beautiful eyes and thought out loud. "I can too spell!"

We both began to laugh, and I realized something.

If it turns out that I hadn't really just had a mild loss of sanity, and my dog, my BEST friend, who loves me no matter what, could now communicate with me - how lucky I am!

I hesitated for a moment and then asked her. "You know I hide your medicine in that peanut butter, right?"

She licked her lips, like she always does, only this time she answered.

"Yeah, I dropped it into your drinking cup, haven't you noticed your hair is much smoother?" She winked and said, "we should probably keep this between us." I agreed.

I put my slippers back on and we enjoyed some bacon and eggs, with a side of biscuits and sausage gravy together.