What She Couldn't

All she ever wanted was to be found.

To be held in the arms of a love so tender, forgiving and empowering that she would often get lost in the thought of it

As she grew, she was described by others as an innocent, carefree girl, who went about life, happily living in her daydreams, ignorantly naive to her surroundings, content just to be, as the sun melted into the distance. Oblivious to the potential dangers that lurked just beyond the edges of reality.

That night was no different.

The melody of crickets and frogs sang a get away song, lurring her further into the forest than she had ever been before. The smell of the dampness welcomed her, convincing her to surrender her fears and get closer to the center of unknowing.

You see, Jasmine's past was a tragic tale. She had been abandoned at an early age, a victim of a failed system, following the deaths of her parents.

When Jasmine was 10, her mother returned home early from a trip and interrupted her father brutally attacking Jasmine. Her rage and love for Jasmine pushed her beyond the law and as a result, was killed at the hands of her father, who then, took his own life.

The stigma of her situation was more than this little girl or town could bear, and she was left to her own devices.

Her mental response was to crawl deep inside her head and pretend. Pretend that world never existed and that one day, love would find her again. She lived in a fantasy world, amidst the brutal reality that surrounded her.

As she happily made her way down the cobbled path, she heard a stirring in the distance. There was a subtle rustle in the brush and although she was nervous, her fears were washed away by a soothing voice coming from the other side.

Curiosity took over her sense of fear and she drew nearer to the voice, as she did, it stopped, like the crickets outside her bedroom window. She could still feel its presence, so she leaned in to get a better look. She was a bit startled and surprised, as a tall, slender shadow arose and seemed to surround her, like an embrace, lulling her into a warm and calm place.

"Hi," the shadow said, but not in a human voice, more like a knowing. "I am chaha'oh, I have been waiting for you." Jasmine's head tilted a bit in wonder and confusion at his proclamation.

"Waiting for ME?" She asked doubtingly. No one had ever been waiting for her. He could feel a change in her energy, afraid he had frightened her, his eyes darted around for a moment, like he was looking for something. He snapped his fingers and without hesitation, the softness of the forest returned, the frogs and crickets once again, began to chirp a happy tune. And with that, she relaxed, he spoke again.

"It's nice to have company, it's nice to have your company, Jasmine." she shifted, a bit uncomfortable by his directness, as she nodded and smiled, reciprocating his gesture. "How do you know my name?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

"Oh, I have been with you for a long time, Jasmine. I have been in the silence, when you quiet and in the songs of the forest, when you are singing. You see, we have been friends for a long time, so I thought we should finally meet."

Jasmine smiled a smile so large, that all of her teeth were showing. It was a nice thought to think she hadn't really been alone all those years. She recounted all the times she felt a closeness when no one was around, "so, that was you?" she said excitedly. "You were the goosebumps on my arms as the storms came in and the breath of rushing air as the leaves began to change...you have been with me all this time?"

Chaha'oh nodded and smiled.

For what seemed like the first time, Jasmine felt seen and accepted. Over the next few hours he escorted her through his midnight wonderland, to places no human had seen before, places of dreams and the wonder of his imagination.

She wondered if this was real or if she was dreaming again. She didn't feel like the same girl she had been hours earlier as she wandered her way into this magical place.

She caught herself saying out loud, "all along this love was right in front of me."

Was this what she had been dreaming of? Could this be what love feels like? He could feel her pulling away as the thought of it began to sink in. She felt embarrassed and shy and as in the past, she began to shut down, out of fear.

Through his patience and care for her she began to let go of the hurt and fears she had been hiding, locked in her head. She now felt free to be and be loved. He had done for her what no one had done since the loss of her mother...find her worth. Her voice.

With him.

Transformed by the power and the emanations of his own tortured soul, she faced the dawn with determination, unafraid to say goodbye to the light. Choosing to remain lost. And in doing so, found her place.

Afterall, all she ever wanted was to be found