Weightlifting with bears

I was walking alone along the hillside trail, passing a banyan tree, when a bear suddenly fell from the tree, right in front of my nose.

Every summer, the ravenous bears climb up to the branches and fall to the ground, again and again, commonly known as "falling fat", to get rid of the excess fat and make their bloated bodies slimmer, just like human beings practicing aerobics to lose weight.

This was an adult male bear, about 1.8 meters tall, with a black body and a crescent-shaped white spot on his chest. I was dumbfounded, and the bear froze. My reaction was a second faster than the bear's, so I screamed hysterically and turned and ran. The bear barked and chased after me. The trail was rugged, and I had gone to the village to attend the annual training for teachers in the mountains and was carrying a thin quilted backpack.

I think, if I continue to run like this, I will soon run into the Hall of Hell to report to the King of Hell. I suddenly remembered what the old hunter in the village had taught me, that if you encounter a bear and it is too late to hide, the best thing to do is to lie down and play dead, as bears are not interested in "dead" people who do not move. I took a chance, fell straight to the ground, closed my eyes, held my breath, and didn't move a muscle.

Shortly after, the bear came to me and circled me a few times. My spine tingled with fear that it would sit on my butt. The bear has three tricks for dealing with the enemy: mouth bite, slap, and butt crush. The most powerful of the three tricks is the butt crush, which weighs thousands of pounds and presses down on the opponent like a stone mill, but sits not in a regular manner, as if it has a full ass rash, rubbing and scratching.

Thank goodness the bear wasn't tired and didn't want to sit on me for a rest. I was relieved and thought, "This is a good way to play dead, I can probably get by today. Who knows, at this juncture, I made a big fool of myself.

After a while, I felt the bear's hot mouth moving slowly around my face, probably testing whether I was dead or faking it. The fuzz on the bear's mouth rubbed against my nostrils, tickling me and making me long for a good sneeze. I knew it wasn't the right time to sneeze, and I tried my best to hold it back, but the physiological phenomenon of the nasal mucosa being stimulated and eager to erupt was so hard to restrain. My body jolted and I opened my mouth wide: "A-choo!" I sneezed a big, big sneeze.

I sneezed, and the bear's face was covered with snot. He was probably afraid of the "fried corpse", and he thought the snot was dirty, so he took a step back and looked at me in shock, wiping his face with his forepaws. I took the opportunity to run away. I was halfway up the mountain, and I remembered what the local hunters had taught me, that when you meet a bear, you can't walk up the slope, because people have limited physical strength, and you can't climb up the slope to beat a bear. So I headed down the slope. I rolled and crawled, faster than a rabbit, thinking that I would be able to escape from death. When I turned my head, my heart dropped. The male bear was sitting on the thatch on the hillside, sliding down the slope like a slide. He was good at it, but I was going to be in trouble! I had no choice but to roll down with my hands on my head and my body rolled up into a ball, "Goo Goo Goo".

I don't know how many times the "human ball" rolled over, but I heard a "thud" and felt cold all over. The "human ball" rolled much faster than the bear slide, and it was still busy on the slope. I got up like a chicken and stumbled to the other side. Within a few steps, I was frozen in the middle of the river, my soul was shattered and my body was limp. I saw that a bear was wandering on the beach on the other side.

It was a female bear, with a thick waist and round bladder, too fat to see the curves, about one meter, and a half high, with firm breasts faintly visible between her chest and belly.

The male bear slid down the slide to the creek, stepping on the water and coming after me. Out of pure instinct, I raised my water-soaked backpack and tried to throw it at the bear to gain some time to escape. I hadn't even thrown it yet, when suddenly the male glared at the pack I was holding high in my hands, roared in anger, bent down, picked up a large rock from the river, raised it over his head with both paws, shook it at me demonstratively, and turned his head towards the female bear on the shore and "whinnied" in a showy manner.

I suddenly remembered a rumor that the hunters in the village had told me during their parade that male bears are particularly jealous during the courtship period and always look for a rival to show their magical power in front of the female bears, and if they can't find a suitable rival, they will even wrap themselves around a passing elephant.

I was inspired to think that the male bear had mistaken my backpack for a boulder, so why don't I just use that as an excuse to have a weightlifting contest with him and then find a way to escape?

The bear and I were standing face to face in a river ditch full of small and large rocks, and just as he put the rocks down, I lifted my backpack, which was similar in color and shape to the rocks, from the river and lifted it three times in one breath, yelling at him "Haaaaaaaa". The male bear, not to be outdone, also picked up a rock that was bigger than my backpack and lifted it three times. I rolled my backpack in the river, again and again, waving to the female bear on the shore. The male bear was so jealous that he also hugged a large round stone and rolled it in the river, panting heavily.

The female bear climbed up a small tree and watched the weight-lifting contest between me and the male bear with a languid expression, as if to say, "Whoever is stronger and more powerful will be my favorite bear!

I picked up my backpack again, threw it up to the sky, threw it more than a meter high, and caught it steadily with my hands. The male bear followed my example and picked up a large, heavy rock and threw it upwards, but the rock didn't go up and he fell on his butt in the river. He was so angry that he got up and picked up the disobedient rock again and threw it up. He failed again and was so tired that he was foaming at the corners of his mouth, and seemed to have hurt one of his hind feet on the stone, but he still stubbornly got up and pounced on the boulder ......

I knew that the male bear was doubling his bravado and fervor to win the female bear's heart because she was with him.

It was time for me to slowly retreat to the shore and run. I looked back as I fled out of the valley, and hey, the male was still throwing boulders into the sky.