We the Women

“I am so grateful, Pomona, that you allowed me to host this party in your orchard. I would have invited everyone to my sacred garden in the west, but the Hesperides are so finicky about letting others enter the garden, and the dragon Ladon is terrible company.”

“With pleasure, m’lady,” rosy-cheeked Pomona answered respectfully. She stepped aside and gestured towards a delightful bower. I surveyed the lush, feminine arbor and nodded.

“Lovely, dear. It is perfect for a welcoming party.” Baskets of ripe, smooth-skinned figs were conveniently placed, and clusters of fat grapes hung from the vines entwining the trees. Cushioned couches were arranged neatly around a table topped with a generous assortment of Roman delicacies. Their mingled scents wafted through the air. Usually the deities only feast on ambrosia and nectar, but Pomona preferred the mortal cuisine, and our special guest, who was newly deified, would appreciate the familiar sustenance.

Usually whenever Jupiter deified a particularly outstanding mortal, I considered his choice ill-picked. Octavia Minor, though, deserved goddesshood. So I had arranged this garden party to welcome her. There would be plenty to gossip about, and I was sure to pick up some juicy tidbits of information.

“Ah, the others are arriving.” We swept over to the gate to greet our guests. I quickly detected Octavia. “Salve! You must be our new companion. Pray tell us of what you are the goddess; Jupiter refused to let us attend the counsel.”

Octavia curtseyed. “The king of the gods has appointed me goddess of sleepless nights, m’lady. He thought that would be appropriate due to my experience raising nine children.”

For a moment I was a bit disquieted. I quickly recovered, smiling and nodding politely, but inside I was fuming at Jupiter for not choosing a more sophisticated area for Octavia’s goddesshood. It was insulting, really.

Pomona and I led everyone to the bower, where we reclined on the couches and admired the scenery. As we dined, I asked Octavia how she was enjoying being a deity.

“Oh, I much prefer it to being a human,” Octavia said. “Before, I felt so… powerless. Women have so little authority, you know, and men seem to think that our primary use is for bargaining. After a while one feels quite worthless, to be honest.”

I had seen enough myself of the affairs of earth to know about the gender divide. Even Olympus was far from perfect in that regard.

“Personally, though, being widowed was the best thing that happened to me, because I was able to run the household and take more control over my life.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“Er, that’s nice, dear,” Minerva commented blandly. “I mean, we must admit that all the geniuses of the mortal world are men. They do seem to have a higher capacity for reason and resourcefulness. Ulixes, for example.” She blushed a bit saying his name.

Diana rolled her eyes. “You just think that obnoxious womanizer should have been deified. You never fail to bring that up, do you?”

Minerva glared at her. “He certainly was smarter than several goddesses I could name off the top of my head.”

“Alright, enough!” I intervened. “Jupiter didn’t deify Ulixes, and that’s the end of it. Octavia, darling, do continue.”

Octavia coughed in her drink. “Well, I was not a fan of how my brother used me to patch up his own relationship issues. And Antony was so ungrateful. The moment he left my side, he fell in love with that Egyptian princess, and eventually he divorced me. I had to bring up our children by myself,” she ranted.

Harmonia snorted indignantly. “I think she’s got a point. What I can’t understand is why men think that we women are pawns to be traded off to seal alliances, reward friends, or produce male heirs. Why are we always the victims?”

All eyes turned to the enraged goddess of harmony. I leaned forward under the awning of the fig tree, a smile curling on my lips. I was shocked that my granddaughter showed such spirit. What a pleasant surprise - the girl had some sense after all! One would think that being the daughter of Love and War, so to speak, would have addled her brains, but I was proud of her sudden fervor.

Everyone else continued to stare awkwardly at Harmonia. The young goddess frowned. “Seriously, Jupiter married me off to some mortal I’d never even heard about so the guy wouldn’t continue pursuing his sister - with whom, I must add, Zeus was having an affair.”

“I thought you fell in love with him almost immediately, dear,” Minerva tentatively mentioned.

Harmonia flushed, but her face didn’t soften a bit. “Oh, it turned out alright, but that doesn’t mean Jupiter was justified!” She glanced around disparagingly, looking for support.

“I’ve been trying to tell everyone that men are horrid!” Diana grinned triumphantly.

“I agree. Jupiter used Harmonia to appease Cadmus, who was only doing his duty. Of course, he didn’t care what Harmonia thought about the arrangement. Octavian did the same thing. ‘Tis a pity that we females are thought so little of.” I glanced around the bower. One by one they nodded, except for Minerva, who stubbornly held that men were better. And I thought she was supposed to be the wise one here. Perhaps she should have only been the goddess of male ingenuity.

Suddenly, a flash of gold appeared in the middle of our bower.

“Apollo!” Diana screeched. “We are having an all-ladies party! Shoo! Go kiss a dryad!” She grabbed the closest thing her fingers could grasp and flung it at her brother. Unfortunately, her fingers had clutched a single grape, and Apollo had abnormally fast reflexes - he had had a lot of practice dodging missiles thrown by angry goddesses, nymphs, dryads, etc. He snapped up the grape with his teeth, chewed once, swallowed, and bowed dramatically.

“If you are having a party, a bit of entertainment may be in line,” he suggested, winking at Octavia. “I have several ideas which I’m sure would amuse you all…”

“OUT!” Diana roared, knocking over a bowl of olives as she jumped to her feet and flexed her biceps.

“Sheesh, take it easy, sis! Alright, alright, I’m leaving, see? Oh, I almost forgot. Jupiter wasn’t too happy that you had a party without his supervision. He said he wants to see all of you in the throne room.” Apollo grinned coyly and, in a burst of shimmering gold, disappeared.

I groaned. “Apollo is doubtless the worst of the lot.” Diana pinched her lips together, nodding in agreement.

“Hey, why do we have to obey Jupiter again? We should make him give us what we want! Like how I made him promise to never marry me off!” Diana crowed.

“If we don’t follow King Jupiter, chaos and anarchy will ensue,” Minerva responded firmly. Nervously, Pomona and Octavia nodded. Harmonia huffed but clearly did not intend to rebel.

I sighed in frustration but realized that it was not the time to push for gender equality. “Enough. We can only hope and speculate.” I hailed Iris, who immediately created a rainbow bridge to Olympus. “For now, Jupiter will be getting impatient.”