War Babies Pt. 2

Chapter 2

I was back on schedule the next day, up at six, breakfast, meds and wait for my tutor. I wasn’t allowed to go to regular school, so I was homeschooled. I didn’t miss school though, a popularity contest of idiots and bitches. I would have burned it into the ground with them in it if I had my way. Why should they get a life that they take for granted, when I struggle every day to stay on schedule. Walt came promptly at eight, like most mornings. I went through the motions and did my work. Deep down, I wanted him to go away and never return. He was emotionless, like a robot trained to teach. He never held a conversation with me that wasn’t work related. Never talked about himself or his life outside this house. It seemed like forever before we were done for the day. I gave him a little trouble, didn’t want them to think I was being too good. After Walt left, I went out to check on my garden. I watered it like the book said to and looked around for weeds that may have grown overnight. I went back into the house and pretended to read the le gardening book, mostly followed my dad around telling him gardening tips. “How about you go up to your room to read? Or the tree house? I’m trying to get some work done here and you’re making it difficult.” I looked a little down, “Ok dad, I’ll quit pestering you. Can I have some snacks to take with me?” He pulled out some graham crackers and a couple bottles of juice. “Knock yourself out. Don’t tell your mom I gave you the whole pack. She’ll have my ass.” We giggled at that. I left the house and hurried to my private forest. I carefully looked around to make sure he didn’t follow me. As soon as I felt like I was alone, I retrieved the book from it’s hiding spot and bolted for the tree house. I left the trap door open so it wouldn’t look like I was hiding if my dad came to check on me. I sat on my sofa and made sure the gardening book was open to a page that I had already read, that way I could answer questions if he came up. Ready to shove the secret book into the cushions if need be. I opened to the first page and was amazed by the list of things that lay before me. The contents page was a list of experiments and the dates they started and ended. Some had no ending date.I turned to the first page of the book.

February 5, 1935

The effects of Pellagra on citizens is as follows:

Pellagra occurs from a niacin deficiency and is easily cured. Acquired a children’s home for further testing. All subjects are wards of the state with no parents present. They have been denied foods that contain niacin. As predicted, the subjects began having symptoms as early as six weeks after diet began. Weakness and light sensitivity were the first signs that presented itself. Diarrhea occurred in subjects days to a week later. The mental condition of patients with these symptoms is faltering. Unable to make quick decisions and think coherently. This has also brought on aggression by subjects when forced to make snap judgements. Dermatitis and Lesions have followed. Dry cracking of the skin which causes bleeding and a thick yellow substance oozing from these wounds. Not sure if insomnia occurs from the itching of the wounds or from the decreasing mental state. Four months into the experiment, we have had four subjects expire from symptoms. One from infection. It wasn’t until after the autopsies of the other three that we found that they had passed from complications of Dilated Cardiomyopathy. Six months into the experiment subjects are showing signs of Ataxia, Each case having a different nerve breakdown. Some cannot speak other than gibberish. Two have lost the ability to walk or hold items in their hands. Six more have died of complications already listed. The nurses we have to monitor the subjects have proven to be our obstacle to our success. They have threatened to go to the authorities unless our actions cease. This has presented us with another experiment, to see how the remaining few subjects can recover. Began giving them a diet rich in niacin. After only two weeks, a vast improvement has been made. Subject #4 has recovered the use of her limbs and can sit in a slightly darkened room. Subject #8 has not had any change. Will increase the dosage of niacin. Subject 14 has made a miraculous recovery, regaining all health. A blood sample was taken as well as skin samples from various stages of illness. Subject #15 has recovered all but his eyesight. Samples have been taken from this subject also. Subject #23 showed no signs of illness at any point of experiment. which leads us to believe that one of our trusted nurses had been giving her food outside of experiment. Will find the culprit and justice shall be served.

June 14, 1940

The effects of Malaria are as follows

125 inmates have been infected with Malaria. We shall study the transmission rates among other prisoners and prison officials. It spread like wildfire, infecting more than 400 in less than a year. Symptoms that has presented are as followed: Subjects began to experience Flu like symptoms, such as Chills, Fever and Fatigue. Diarrhea, Nausea and Vomiting were the next symptoms to present themselves. Other symptoms that were present in some, but not all subjects were pain in the Abdomen and Muscles.Fast Heart Rate, Headache, Mental Confusion and Pallor were common in most subjects. Mass deaths have attracted the attention of the media. Cannot cover up allegations of abuse. We have placed blame on an immigrant who was incarcerated the year before. Since he cannot speak english, he is the perfect scapegoat. Media believed and are reporting on the great efforts of our government to help the poor victims of this man. He was found hanging in his cell, reportedly out of remorse for what he had done.

We began a treatment of various medications to combat the disease suffered by prison officials. The remaining subjects shall be given experimental drugs to see the effect on disease.

April 12, 1942

The effects of Mustard Gas

In our division alone, 650 Servicemen were exposed to a chemical agent known as Mustard Gas.

All Subjects exposed to the gas were covered in blisters from exposure. The blistering was not contained to only the skin. Blisters were also present in the throat upon inspection. 347 subjects died right away from exposure. We should have leaked it slowly into the barracks instead of placing subjects in exam rooms and filling it with the gas. Autopsies showed the blistering was also present in the lungs and looked as if they had been burned. Later tests were done as previously stated, slowly released into the barracks. We did not release as much gas as the previous test. Subjects who complained of burning skin and throats were treated as though they had caught a sickness of one sort or another. 96 subjects recovered and have led normal lives. The rest were left with physical scarring and lung damage. 48 Died of what appears to be natural causes or cancer. Blood and tissue samples were taken for further research/ This is one of our first tests of biological warfare. In the years following this testing, we have improved our gas masks and clothing to protect the skin and lungs of subjects. We have had a huge success and are ready to move on to the next experiments.

August 2, 1945

Program F

Fluoride is a key component in Atomic Chemistry. This testing is provide information on the safe levels of Fluoride on test subjects.Subjects were injected with toxic levels of Radioactive Plutonium in the name of National Security. Some volunteered, while others were unsuspecting.subjects.

I slammed the book shut and tried to calm my breathing down. Is this what our government is doing? Has been doing? I didn’t want to read anymore, couldn’t read anymore. How could they do these kind of things on our own people? I could feel a twinge of pain in my head. I decided that I had had enough for one day. I looked out through the trapdoor to make sure I was alone. I climbed down the ladder and made my way to my secret spot to hide the terrible book again. When I pulled back the stone, there was a piece of paper inside. I traded the book for the paper and replaced the stone. I hid the paper in my gardening book and walked slowly and calmly towards the house. I didn’t want to rush in as my parents would be concerned and want to know what was going on. I made myself stop at the small flower garden. I pretended I was looking for weeds, which there were a couple. I pulled them up and put them in the compost heap with the grass clippings. I then went into the house to wash my hands in the kitchen sink. “How do you like your garden?” My dad asked as I was drying my hands. I hadn’t heard him come up behind me and was startled. I spun around to face him, “P-P-pretty good. I’m learning a lot from this book.” I got a glass out of the shelf and got a drink of water. I hadn’t realized how dry my throat was until the cool water ran down it as I swallowed. “Is there a game on today?”, I queried “Can I watch with you again? I enjoyed it last night and would like to spend some time with you.” He looked a little shocked that I was being so calm and rational. Although my mind was racing with questions that I had no answer for. “We’ll see how things go and I’ll let you know at dinner. I’m happy you’re feeling better, It’s nice to have my daughter back.” He said back to me. I put my empty glass in the dishwasher, “I’m gonna go lay down for a while, my eyes are tired from so much reading. It’s been too long since I read this much>” Dad nodded and retreated to my room. After I closed the door I sat there listening to see if he had followed me up. I sat on my bed and pulled the paper from my book.

Gen,

I am hoping you get this letter, I remembered your hiding spot. Have you read the book yet? Don’t freak out when you get to the part of the book that concerns us and our parents. At first I hated my father, but now I sort of understand why he did what he did. I have overheard his conversations with people on the phone, he had no idea I was in the room. I’m great at hiding, remember when we played hide and seek when we were little? The other kids always accused me of cheating. Ha, I’m just better than they are. I want to come see you again soon, I was grounded for sneaking out the other day. But I had to at least deliver this letter to you. I’ll wait until they think I’m complacent once more and let their guard down. I wish you would remember it all like I have, but it seems as if they have made sure you don’t. I have learned to go along with the program and play dumb. Of course, I keep a hidden journal of everything they have done to us. I’ll bring it over when it’s safe and we can go through it to help jog your memory. I want to tell you more, but the parents will wonder about why I’m writing instead of drawing like they think I am. Do your best to keep your mom and dad in the dark about us. They’ll just move you again and it takes too long to find you sometimes. I saw the flowers and remembered that you like gardening. Are you growing them again? Or is it your mom trying to keep you busy? Anyway, tear this up and flush it down the toilet like we usually do. We can’t let them know I’ve found you again.

See you soon,

Gabby

I read the letter a couple more times and then slowly tore it into pieces. Making sure they were small enough to be flushed. I had a feeling that I had done this before. That feeling struck me as odd since I didn’t remember doing sneaky things like this. I put the small bits of paper into my mouth and casually walked to the bathroom. Glad that no one stopped me, I wouldn’t have able to do more than mumble at them. I would have been caught and probably sent back to the ward. How I hated that place even though I could never quite remember what happened when I was there. I spat the bits into the toilet and let them sink down to the bottom. I didn’t want to flush too soon, for fear they would wonder why I was so quick. I thought to myself how I could have the thoughts I was having and the little flashes of images of small children playing. Stay calm, I kept telling myself, just be cool and I’ll figure out what’s going on. I went back to my room and laid down on my bed. I fell asleep, not realizing that I had been tired. My mom woke me up when she got home, “You feeling okay Hun, headache coming back?” I shook my head no, “My eyes got tired from reading so much. I’m not used to it.” She stood up to go, then turned back, “Would you like to set the table for dinner? Give your mom a little help?” “Sure”, I replied, “I’m in a good mood today and that would be great. Like being a family again. Like before the wreck.” We went downstairs together. I set the table and sat while mom cooked. She and dad took turns making dinner. He spent more time cooking than she did. She preferred cooking out of boxes, as dad put it. Tonight she made spaghetti, boiled noodles and threw a can of sauce into them. “And viola”, she declared, “Dinner is served.” I giggled at her. She beamed at me, “It is like old times isn’t it?” Dad came in and sat down. We ate dinner and bantered a bit about their day. My dad got up and took some ice cream cones out out of the freezer and passed them to us. I don’t usually get sugary foods, bad for my health they claimed, made me fidgety. I wanted to devour it in as little time as possible, but made myself eat slowly and relish the taste of vanilla and chocolate.

The pain I was feeling earlier was returning, so I asked my mom for one of my migraine pills. “Nip it in the bud before it gets bad.” I told her, “I want to get better and be normal again.” She looked surprised, “You never asked for one before, you’re usually too stubborn. Wanting to ride it out.” “I’m tired of being in pain and in a bad mood because of it. The last three days have been wonderful. I’m thinking clearly for the first time in a long time. I don’t want to live ‘like that anymore. I think the new meds are working and I want to keep feeling this way. I’m worried that a migraine will set me off and I don’t want that.” “That is very grown up of you to say. I’m so glad these medications are working.” mom said and got me my meds for the night, knowing they would knock me out in a half hour or so. “Would you like me to run you a bath?” She asked. “Relax some as the meds kick in.” “That would be great,” I said back, ``I'm feeling sort of dirty from working in the garden.” As I was laying in the bathtub, mom laid out some pajamas for me and pulled back my blankets. I know she was searching for something amiss, making it look like she was doing her motherly duties. I dried off and got into my PJ's and climbed in bed, the meds were already making my brain all fuzzy and warm. The pain had receded and I felt a freedom I hadn’t felt in a while. Like things were going to get better, yet I had a nagging feeling like I had been here before.I wasn’t going to let anything get in my way of finding out what Gabby was trying to tell me or getting stuck in the ward again. I needed to keep my head clear and take it one day at a time. As I slept, I dreamt of playing hide and seek as a young girl, laughing at the other kids because they couldn’t find Gabrielle. They didn’t like playing with us, but were forced to let us be part of the fun. “Teacher, Gabby is cheating again. She’s not following the rules.”, They said. “Gabrielle,” The teacher called, “Come out now, you know it’s not fair to the other kids. It’s time to stop and come back to class now.” As if by magic, Gabby was standing there, ready to go into the school. The dream continued on as two men came into the classroom and escorted her to the office. I could feel anger boiling up inside me as they led my best friend away just like before. I screamed at them to let her be. “Leave her alone,” I cried out, “It’s not her fault she’s good at hiding. You taught her how to do it. I said leave her alone!” In the dream, my head started pounding, like a volcano erupting inside it. The dream changed locations at that moment and I was in th ward. I was still a small child, not a teenager, like I am used to. I could hear Gabby screaming from another room in the ward. “I’ll be good,” She cried, “It’s not my fault, you taught me how to do it. I’ll be good, I promise, don’t give me the shot, I’ll be good!” I tried to get up to help her, but I was strapped down to my bed. The IVs sting my arms as I struggled.

I was groggy when I was woken up the next morning. I must have been talking in my sleep because mom looked worried. Bad dreams?” She inquired, “You were crying out, What was it, you can tell me. Or did the headache get worse?” “I don’t remember,” I lied, My head is fuzzy, but the headache is gone. Those pills kick my butt.” She seemed satisfied with my lie. “If it keeps up, we’ll have to take you in to see your doctor. I hated Dr. Caltin, always prying in my head as if trying to figure me out. “It’s okay, it must have been the pain, I don’t remember having any dreams.” I tried to stay as calm as possible, “If it happens again tonight, we can make an appointment.” Although I knew I wouldn’t have to wait for an appointment, they would take me straight to the ward again. Mom seemed fine with my answer and agreed to my terms. My ruse was working and she fell for my lies again. I felt guilty for lying so much, but I felt it was important to play along. “Maybe you should stay in bed today. Make sure the pain doesn’t come back. I can tell Walt to take the day off.” “I’m sure if I eat something, I’ll feel better. Breakfast sounds good right now.” I said as I climbed out of bed and started dressing in the clothes she had laid out for me.”Alright,” she gave in, “Have your dad call me if your headache comes back.” As we went down to have breakfast I noticed my dad peeking around the corner like he afraid or something. “She’s fine, just the headache. It’s gone now and she’s feeling back to normal.” Mom told him. He seemed relieved and came into the kitchen with us. He sat across the table from me and drank coffee while I ate. I noticed he was watching me carefully, unsure of how to handle the situation. “Are you feeling ok daddy,” I asked him, “Looks like you’re not feeling well.” He glanced at me, shocked to hear my concern, “Yes sweetie, I’m feeling fine, just worried about you is all.” “Silly daddy, of course I feel better. I can’t get sick, my plants need me. Who would water and weed them?” I told him. He was satisfied for the moment.”I don’t think you’ll have to worry about them not getting water. The weather lady said that we’re in store for some slight rain showers today. All you have to worry about is the weeds.” He said, smiling at me. I felt like a normal family again, having discussions instead of arguing about me and keeping me under lock and key. I would keep up with the act and see if they gave me more freedom, maybe a trip to the market with mom or the batting cages with dad. All I had to do was keep my shit together. Take it slowly, not rush things.