Turn Back Now

Nobody can hear a scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say. I wouldn’t know. None of us made it off the ship. All my fellow colleagues died, except for me. I stared down at the captain’s lifeless body on the floor of the hall. Even when he was dead, he held a dignified expression. He was the one who taught me how to command a room and defend myself. Vince was one of the only crew members I respected other than my father. I always thought of him as the uncle I never had. I would have trusted him with my life. But he kept many secrets too. We all had our secrets that would kill us.

The ship gave a jolt and the lights flickered once. I glanced around while I moved down the hall, briefly stopping to peek in each room for any sign of remaining life. I knew I wasn’t alone. Though it couldn’t be seen, I could feel its lingering presence. I wasn’t sure what it wanted with me. I did know this wasn’t our first encounter. I never told anyone about the night in the observatory. How it had been following me ever since. I naively thought I could walk away.

The next room belonged to my father. I lingered in the doorway, staring at his neatly made bed. Then, a small table where his books were perfectly stacked. There wasn’t an article of clothing on the floor or piece of trash in the bin. To him, everything had to be immaculate. Even his family. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the awards hanging on the wall. A display of all his achievements in exchange for the sacrifice of life. My eyes burned with a heat that moved down my body. The room blurred behind tears. Each breath I tried to take became more constricted. I yanked an award off the wall and threw it across the room, then jerked the blankets back from the bed, and pushed the books off his table. A scream escaped me before I fell to my knees.

The lights flickered again. I felt a rush of cool air over me. I closed my eyes with surrender and thought back to when it began.

+ + + ++

On November 18, 2047, the ON23-Scorpius launched into space. It was the second spacecraft to launch and the largest, but the first to be a place of residence indefinitely. This would be our home while we searched for other inhabitable planets. I peered down at the oceans and continents between the clusters of clouds. That would be the last time I see Earth. I would never again grab a large caramel macchiato and chocolate croissant, so I could hear my father lecture about a healthy diet. Never again feel the rain on my skin in the spring. Never again hear the birds sing early in the morning or the frogs chirp late at night. The sound of traffic in the city usually gave me a headache but what I would give to hear it once more. I thought I would love the silence of space, the lack of crowds, the solitude. You never appreciate what you have until it’s gone. The grass is always greener. But there’s no turning back now.

It was no secret that Earth wouldn’t be inhabitable for much longer. If we found a planet to colonize, only the most recent generations at the time would be sent to grow the new colony. There had also been talk of creating more ships like ours, but only those with notoriety would make it aboard. Everyone else would be left to die with Earth. Perhaps they were lucky to die where they hold all their memories. Any other planet wouldn’t be the same.

I sought refuge in the family room for the first few hours. The fact that they call it a family room was comical. Nobody on this ship was like family to each other. Every conversation had a touch of cool arrogance as each party tried to one-up the other. The crew shared companionship, but not loyalty or even much respect. I stopped in the middle of the room, slowly turning to take it in. The lights were dimmed giving the room a tranquil atmosphere. Along the wall was the couch that curved with the wall. In the middle was a coffee table, with two large chairs on the other side. Much to my dismay, they were not reclining. On the wall across from the window was a mini bar. This was my favorite room of the ship.

I stepped up to the large window and stared at the stars in the distance. The vastness of space was overwhelming. People called us brave and courageous, but I didn’t feel like either. Often, I felt like a fraud. I didn’t choose this life. This was the life my father prepared me for since birth. Most of the time, I felt like another one of his crew members instead of his daughter.

“You’re going to make history,” my father would tell me as he tucked me in and turned off the light. After a while, I must admit, I started buying into the hype.

While other kids practiced for sports, I spent the first decade of my life behind a telescope, learning constellations and about other solar bodies. I was taught by a private homeschool teacher instead of attending public school. My parents were convinced that public schools would only hold me back from my full potential. I was already in advanced courses by the age of nine. The next decade would include deeper studies of physics, as well as training for space travel and life outside of Earth. This mission was my entire life purpose. A loud crash echoed outside the room, followed by a yowl. Footsteps quickly shuffled passed the door. My attention was directed to the commotion.

“Ray hurt himself again,” I heard Amara complain on the other side of the wall.

“I don’t know why he’s even here. He’s more of a risk than an anything. He’s going get himself killed if not one of us,” Laurel responded with her usual agitation.

“I’m ok! Really, I'm fine!” Ray’s voice was barely audible on the other side of the ship.

I snorted and shook my head, hoping nobody stopped at this room. I stepped back to the large window and peered out. Peace and quiet. It’s said that no sound could be heard in space. I placed my hand lightly against the glass. After a moment, an icy chill covered my palm and crept up my fingers to the tips. A faint image of a face started appearing on the other side of the glass, but it didn’t look human. It was a face I had seen before when I was in the observatory on Earth. I gasped and pulled my hand back, closing my fingers. The face disappeared. The chill had moved up my arms and my stomach tightened. I turned around to leave, rubbing my arms. A book caught my eye from the table in the middle of the room. It was my book. I didn’t recall bringing it with me. I cautiously walked over and picked up the book. Maybe I did bring it. It had been a long day. Something made me open the book at the marked spot.

Turn back now. Something about the boldly printed words brought a heaviness over my body.

I slammed the book shut and glanced around the room.

“You’re not funny.” If someone was playing a prank, I needed them to know. My pace was nearly a jog as I bolted for the door. The glowing button to exit could have been a huge neon sign. I couldn’t get out of the room fast enough. I placed my finger against the button when the ship shook. The door opened before I finished pressing the button and Brennon was on the other side. He was only a year older and completed his training with me. His timing was impeccable, and I wondered if he was the one behind the prank. He’s been known to find entertainment at my expense.

“Dani! There you are. Something is happening. The navigation is malfunctioning, and the ship seems to be navigating itself." He paused with confusion in his eyes. "It’s turning itself around back towards Earth.”

I looked down at my book. A chill ran through me as I remembered the words on the bookmark.

Turn back now.