Tour Guide

Robyn stirred in her bed. The bedroom was dark. Something moved. She blinked her eyes open. She was in her bed in her room; but something was off. Even in the darkness there was always some light: the moonlight throw the curtains, street lamp glare, the little red light on the TV. The space was void of all signs of light. Her eyes darted to the closet, something had moved, she could sense it. Drawing deep, warm breaths Robyn propped up on her elbows searching for the bedside lamp. Never taking her eyes off the closet her hand found the switch. Pausing, she prepared herself for whatever it might be. The light snapped on and her eyes withdrew from the intrusion. She blinked several times to adjust. Looking around something was off. Off like before the milk curdles and smells but after the expiration date; it was probably still fine to drink but it felt wrong. It was her room. She was sitting on her bed next to her bedside lamp on her bedside table. The closets door was slightly ajar, she could see her clothes on her hangers. The bookshelf was filled with her books. It was her blue and white flower curtains over the windows and her sandals by the door. But somehow it was still wrong. Even with the lamp on it was too dark. Usually that lamp cast brightness into every corner. Now it was more like a dim, dying fire. Robyn was sitting up against the backboard. She was steadily scanning the room to try to find what was wrong. She could hear her own breathing, thats when she realized how loudly quiet it was. There were no sounds: no AC, no fan. Breathing deeply trying not to go into a panic, she stared at a single spot. Blinked. In the slightly ajar closet behind clothes and hangers the darkness was staring back. The tiniest sound came from the staring darkness, like someone shifting their weight. Now she was giving herself permission to panic. She pressed into the backboard and clumsily scrambled away from the closet. Her left hand pressed down on air and with a scream Robyn tumbled to the floor. A small male voice whispered “I’m sorry” after she stopped screaming. Robyn’s eyes grew to the size of oranges. A hand came out from the darkness grabbing the edge of the slightly ajar closet door. The hand pulled the white door open. A forearm formed in the light. He moved slowly trying not to startle her. She was well past that point. She screamed again and railroaded for the door. It opened easily but there was nothing on the other side. Just a pure black void. She was so flustered she pushed her hand into it, it was like a stone wall. Pivoting, almost face planting, she rushed for the windows. Nearly ripping down the rods, she threw the curtains open. It was just wall. Robyn suddenly remembered the man in her closet and whirled around falling into the windowless wall. He was just standing there, lips pursed. Staring at her. He looked nervous. He hadn’t tried to grab her as she rushed around the room. She could see him swallow hard. He pointed to the open door leading to the nothingness, “Um, that’s for your own protection.”

She sat on the floor, staring, blinking, breathing heavy. He stared back and slightly nodded. This continued for maybe 2 minutes, there was no ticking to mark the passing of time. He started to look around the room like he didn’t know what to do. Robyn’s eyes did not move. Her brain was calculating all the possibilities of what this could be. A bad dream, a night terror, something more sinister like a kidnapping. She looked him up and down. He was a young man probably early 20’s. His shaggy almost white blonde hair contrasted greatly with the all black outfit. It sort of looked like a black hooded robe, long sleeved and shapeless. His eyes were pitch black, shining, unblinking. Slightly pointed nose. He noticed her looking over him and raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Hi,” he said giving a little hand wave, “my name is Kiran.” Robyn just looked at him. Kiran’s voice was smooth and calming, but it still didn’t make her feel better. He waited a second for a response but continued when he didn’t get one. “Sorry, its my first day.” Surprise flashed across Robyn’s face. He continued, “like I said my name is Kiran. Hi. (another little wave) Today is my first day. I’m sorry about scaring you, I didn’t mean it. You are probably super confused. Don’t worry, I am here to help you.” He paused again checking to see if he would get a response, she could not stop staring at his eyes. They were dark and black but not void-less like the other side of the door, they seemed to twinkle. With no response he continued. “So, do you have, any questions? Maybe some concerns?” Kiran tapped his finger tips together, waiting. Robyn just kept staring. “I can see this is going to be a while,” Kiran sat down on the opposite wall to Robyn so they could still see each other. She was still grinding numbers and scenarios in her head. ‘Help her?’ she thought, what could that possibly mean. After about 5 minutes Kiran seemed to be bored again and started whistling looking around the room. The sound echoed. He was looking at the bookshelf and suddenly got up making Robyn jump. “I love that book” he said walking over, pulling a book off the shelf. “What?” Robyn said, not realizing the words had come out of her mouth. Kiran turned to look at her, holding up the book so she could see, “I love this book” he repeated. “No” Robyn said to herself, standing up. “What-is-this-place? Where-am-I? Why-did-you-bring-me-here? What-do-you-want-from-me?” she vomited out. Kiran was still holding the book, his eyes scanned the room as if the answers would be there. “You better sit down,” he said putting the book back. Robyn looked at him tentatively. She cautiously moved to sit on the corner of the bed ready to flee if Kiran made a move towards her. But he didn’t, he was still standing by the bookshelf. It didn’t look like he was planning on pouncing. Kiran took in a deep breath, and was fumbling for something in his black robe pocket. He pulled out some note cards. Robyn thought ‘this has to be a dream, it’s almost funny’. He cleared his throat and began reading off the first card almost robotically, “Hello, my name is Kiran. Do not be alarmed I am here to help you.”

“You said that already” Robyn said impatiently.

Kiran gave a nod to that. “It’s my first day,” he continued looking slightly embarrassed.

“This is clearly going no where,” Robyn cut in with growing annoyance, “I’ll ask the questions. First, what is this place?”

“It’s your room. Technically, well almost. They said it was easier to wake up in a familiar place.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“I didn’t bring you here, you followed me here.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing, I am here to help you.”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Kiran.”

Robyn stopped and got to her feet, none of those answers were helpful. She started pacing and looked out the open door. “What is that? You said it was for my safety.”

“Yeah, its so you can’t run away and get lost. Last week Todd lost someone so it was decided that it would be best to keep you guys sealed off until you learned your way around.”

“What? Lost?”

Kiran was losing focus, “Well, my buddy Todd, it was his first day and he startled his person awake and they just ran. Like bolted out, um, there’s a lot of different passages and caves. Very easy to get lost, sometimes I still get lost. Todd’s person took a wrong turn somewhere, we guess, still haven’t found them, so this is. For. Your. Safety.” Kiran stopped himself, Robyn was staring at him again. Robyn blinked and began pacing the room frantically mumbling to herself. Kiran just stood there tapping his finger tips together.

She stopped, turned to him slowly, her mouth twisted, “first day of what?”

At this question Kiran dropped his eyes and became clearly nervous.

“First day of what?” she repeated.

“My job,” he pointed to his black robes, “I am here to help you.” She looked like she was about to cut in but he put up a hand to stop her. “To help make the transition easier, to guide you along your journey.” He paused hoping that was enough, based on her mouth becoming more twisted it was clearly not. “I am a grim reaper.”

Her face dropped to neutral. She slouched. Gravity seemed to be working extra hard on her. Out of nowhere came a laugh. A loud, deep belly laugh. Kiran’s brow furled, it was only his first day but this seemed like a weird reaction. Her laughed ceased to a giggle. “That’s a good one,” she said straightening up, “Is this like a torture chamber? Are you going to sell me? Chop me up? Sell me to someone to chop me up? Human trafficking? Organ harvesting?” Kiran looked even more uncomfortable. He held up a just-a-minute finger and flipped through his note cards. He began slowly, cautiously “There seems to have been a terrible accident. You, Robyn Martin, age 24. Born June 26th, 1997 in Dayton, Ohio. Residing in Chicago, Illinois. Standing at 5 feet 6 inches. Brown hair, green eyes. 135 pounds,” Kiran looked up to check her reaction, tears were about to break their threshold. “Died August 6th, 2023.” When he looked up the tears had started to flow. She was shaking her head, her whole body was shaking. “No,” she whispered. He tried to reach for her but she jerked back like he would electrocute her. “NO.” She yelled. “No.”

Kiran gave her a minute to calm down. He sat down again by the bookshelf on the floor. Robyn was pacing as far away from him as she could. He could hear her mumbling to herself. She sat down on the bed, face buried in her hand. Kiran said in a quiet voice, “I’m going to go get you something, I’ll be right back.” He stood up and walked straight through the black void wall, disappearing as he did. Robyn looked up from her hands, eyes still blurred with tears. She looked around the room, checking every corner, making sure he wasn’t there. She opened the closet doors and checked behind the clothes. Timidly she approached the open door leading to nowhere. She stood in front of it, studying. Slowly, she reached her hand out to touch it. Her hand stopped at the invisible wall. A devastated sigh left her lips. She felt cold. She went to the closet and put on her favorite sweatshirt. Not knowing what to do she sat on her bed with legs pulled up to her chest squeezing a pillow.

Kiran materialized from the darkness. He was holding two mugs. He went to her and held out a mug. Robyn just looked at him blankly, her emotional tank empty. Instead he put it on the nightstand next to her. He sat on the corner of the bed farthest away from her. He took a sip of his own cup, “its earl grey tea, your favorite.” Robyn turned her face towards him. She looked at the cup of tea and picked it up. She took a sip and found that it was in fact, earl grey tea, her favorite. She cradled the cup in both hands. “How do you know all this? Where…”

He held up his wait-a-mintue finger, “One at a time, I feel like that will be easiest.” She nodded, looking down at her cup.

“I know all of this because we have met before” he answered calmly.

“We have?”

“You will remember when you are ready.”

“What is this place?”

“This is the afterlife. The locals call it the underworld.”

She sat up in shock, “I am I in. In.” She couldn’t finish her sentence, but Kiran understood.

He couldn’t help the small smile, “No. This is not that place.”

“Where did you go?” she nodded towards the open door.

“In a little bit I can show you, its easier to show you than try to explain.”

“If this isn’t, well, that place is this..” she looked up.

Kiran couldn’t help a little giggle, “No, not that place either.”

She took another sip of tea. Kiran could see her calm just a fraction but that was a start.

“How? What happened to me? What was the accident?”

Kiran bit his lips together, shifted his bodyweight. “I don’t know”

“LIAR. You knew all those other things. How could you not know why I’m here?”

“Most of the time it’s not helpful. I can take you to someone who does know. If you want.”

“Why would it not be helpful?”

“Accidents happen, mistakes happen, bad things happen. Knowing won’t change the situation.”

“The situation? I’m apparently dead, in the ‘underworld’ with some weirdo who was in my closet. How would answers not be helpful!?”

“A violent death may be stressful for the soul to know about…”

She made a scoffing sound that cut him off. Kiran looked at his feet.

“I really am dead aren’t I?” she asked, tears threatening to break their dam again.

“Unfortunately, yes. Personally if I were dead…” She cut him off.

“Whoah, hold up. If you were dead?”

“You can’t die if you were technically never alive.”

She sat back hard, sighing a deep sigh.

“Knowing how you got here is not going to change the fact that you are here. Knowing will just upset and anger you.”

“How would you know? Why would it not bring peace to my mind?”

“From what I’ve heard it rarely does. Thats why we block them. Whats the last thing you remember?”

She stopped to think. “Having coffee with my friends, I guess. On Tuesday. But I don’t remember anything after that, not even going to bed.”

“See your last memory is a good one, a happy one.”

“Did I ever make it home?” now she was crying.

“I don’t know.”

“I want to take a nap,” Robyn said suddenly.

“Okay,” Kiran nodded, “you can if you want to. But you don’t have to sleep. Not if you don’t want to. Most people like it, so they choose to anyway.”

“What?” she asked.

“Hmm, you don’t have to sleep ever if you don’t want to. You also technically don’t have to eat or drink if you don’t want to. But you can if you want to, most people do. Being dead has some perks.” Robyn scoffed at that. “I’ll be back when you wake up.” He walked into the abyss. Before she laid down she went over to the door. Double checking she could not cross the black void threshold, she closed the door and locked it. Like it would do much good but it gave her a little piece of mind. Robyn melted into a deep, black sleep. The kind where you cannot tell time and the physical world does not exist.

She woke in a panic, sitting upright in bed. Her blankets were thrown chaotically, one leg completely cocooned. Her hair was matted to her scalp, beads of sweat clung to her arms and chest. Gasping for air, her heart palpitations slowing. She looked around her room. The door was closed. The closet was closed. The curtains were closed. The little light on the tv was there. She jumped at the noise of the AC turning on. This was very confusing. THIS was her room, inhabited by little lights and white sounds. She untwisted her leg from the sheet and got up. Robyn cautiously tiptoed over to the door and pulled it open. It was the hallway to her parents room. She closed the door softly, went to the closet doors and pulled them open; no one hiding in them. She walked over to the curtains and pulled them open expecting this to be some cruel joke. Relief filled her, the moon was bright in the sky. The wind moved the trees. Robyn exhaled deeply. She got her phone and kept looking out the window. The time on the screen showed 3:17am. Something moved in the tree. Black, glittering eyes were staring at her. An large barn owl was sitting gracefully on one the branches on the oak tree in the backyard. The eyes continued to stare. She knew those eyes. She looked down at the her phone. It was August 6th. A breath caught in her nose. The owl kept staring. It hooted at her. She checked her phone again, it was August 6th, but it was 2021. As if to say it wasn’t her time the owl hooted one more time and took off flying. As it did something fell from where it hand been sitting and floated to the ground. At first Robyn thought it was a feather. It was too big, too white. She looked again, it was a note card falling to the ground.