To Love a Shadow

Maleia tucked a loose curl behind her ear. The wind seemed determined to pull all the strands free despite how tightly she tied her hair back. She shifted the basket of pineapples she carried and once again set off for home. The path took her along the beach, crowded with fisherman hauling in their day’s catch. Maleia wrinkled her nose at the smell, trying not to gag. Despite spending her entire life on Moloka’i, she had never liked fish.

Ignoring her discomfort, Maleia smiled and waved to the men as she walked past, offering pleasant greetings and inquiring on their luck. As always, their niceties quickly turned to offers of setting her up with their sons. Each time the topic came up, she would apologize and increase her pace, saying only that she needed to hurry home and hadn’t the time to discuss such matters.

By the time she was clear of the beach, she’d had no fewer than 10 potential suitors offered up for dates. She huffed an annoyed breath, muttering to herself, “I already know all their sons. It’s not like this community is huge. I just don’t like them.” Movement nearby caught her eye and Maleia turned, peering suspiciously at a shivering clump of foliage. She blinked, surprised when a large pueo emerged from the underbrush.

And then it cackled at her.

Maleia’s jaw dropped. The pueo made full-throated laughing noises and Maleia genuinely couldn’t tell if it sounded like that normally or if it was actually laughing at her. After a moment she recovered enough to glare and say, “Oh give it a rest, would you? It’s not funny.”

The pueo ignored her and kept cackling. Frustrated and losing her patience, Maleia set her basket down and grabbed a rock, intending to scare the bird away. When she straightened up and turned back to the pueo, it was gone. Its laughter echoed through the trees.

After helping her mother clean the pineapples and prepare dinner, Maleia soon forgot about the strange pueo. She and her parents ate quietly at first, enjoying their huli huli chicken. But as usual, the silence ends before Maleia is ready.

“So,” her father said, “I ran into Kana at the store today.”

Maleia’s grip tightened on her chopsticks. Here we go again, she thought. All she could manage in response was a soft, “Oh?”

He nodded, oblivious to her discomfort. “Oh yes, he was asking about you, you know. He’s a kind boy. Why don’t you date him?”

Maleia replied tightly, “I don’t know, dad. I’m just not interested in dating Kana. Or Akamu, or Pekelo. Or any of the other guys in the community, actually.”

Her father set down his chopsticks and gave her a stern look. “Now Maleia, you can’t be serious. We have plenty of fine men in the village for you to choose from. You’re beautiful, you could have any man you want for a husband. Why don’t you stop playing coy and just try dating? You may find you like it.”

Maleia’s cheeks flushed in anger. She hated when her father talked down to her like she was a child. Thankfully, her mother chimed in. “Mano, please. Don’t push her when she’s not ready. Give her some time. Maybe she’ll meet someone at the upcoming Molokaʻi Ka Hula Piko festival.

Her father grunted but relented. Maleia quickly finished her meal and excused herself. She decided to go for a walk to clear her mind before bed. The sun was setting through the trees framing the forest path, dappling the ground with shadows and shafts of warm, buttery light. Maleia closed her eyes as she walked the familiar trail, easily avoiding roots and stones that would have tripped any newcomer. She breathed in the scent of the pua kukui that grew in the area, relaxing her mind and letting her feet carry her away.

Too soon she found herself standing at the edge of the tree line, toes curling in the soft sand of her private beach. But today she was not alone.

A stranger stood in the surf, small waves splashing against their calves. They were facing the sea, and all she could make out was that they were tall, muscular, and deeply tanned. Darker than some of the fishermen, even.

Before she could reverse direction, the stranger suddenly turned, as if sensing her presence. Maleia’s breath caught in her throat as she locked eyes with the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

Her face was strong, all hard lines and cheekbones, with dark eyes that watched Maleia with unnerving intensity. All Maleia could think to do was wave awkwardly at the woman and choke out, “I’ve never seen anyone else here before.”

The woman’s full lips twitch up into a smile. She said, “Funny, I’ve never been here before.”

Maleia felt intimidated by the woman’s height and beauty, so she started to form some excuse that would send her heading back down the forest path. Instead, she surprised herself by asking, “What are you doing?”

“Just enjoying some sand, sea, and sun. You?”

“Ah, um… I like to come here when I have a lot on my mind.”

The woman took a few steps onto the sand but stopped a comfortable distance away, then turned and sat down, patting the spot next to her. “I’ve got time to listen if you want to tell your problems to a complete stranger.”

Maleia hesitated, twisting a piece of her blouse in nervous fingers. She bit her lip, unsure.

The woman noticed and chuckled wryly. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

Her impish smile seemed to imply otherwise, but Maleia decided to take a seat next to her anyway. As she walked towards the stranger, she couldn’t help but notice a broad tattoo stretching across the woman’s back and shoulders. A pueo, rendered in traditional style and black ink, stared at Maleia as she approached. Her mouth went dry.

She tried to ignore the apprehension clenching her gut as she sat and pondered where to begin her story. Perhaps a direct approach would be the simplest.

Maleia took a deep breath and said, “My father wants me to date the young men in our village. It’s all he ever mentions to me anymore. But to be completely honest… I don’t want to date them. I’ve never been interested and don’t think I ever will be. But I don’t know why I feel this way. I think something is wrong with me and I don’t know how to tell my parents without disappointing them further.”

She closed her eyes as she finished, unwilling to see the stranger’s reaction. After a moment of silence, she opened them again to see the woman fiddling with a shell. She looked to be deep in thought, so Maleia stayed quiet.

After Maleia began fidgeting herself, the woman finally spoke up. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Not every woman is keen on being with a man, and not every man is interested in being with a woman. Love comes in many forms, and it takes a special understanding to recognize the love your heart wants.”

Maleia was taken aback by this response. She had never really considered anything like it. She breathed softly, asking herself more than the woman, “Is it possible that I just don’t love men like that? If I don’t…then what does that mean?”

The woman didn’t answer the personal questions. Instead, she offered her hand and said, “I’m Kailani, by the way.”

Maleia smiled and reached for her hand, finding her grip firm and warm. “Maleia.”

Kailani returned her smile. “Maleia is a beautiful name.”

The sound of her name on Kailani's lips sent a shiver up her spine. She looked away from Kailani's mouth before she could catch her staring, but her eyes snagged on another tattoo. A shark, etched in the same style as the pueo on her back, curled around her thigh in delicate, dark, sweeping lines.

Kailani saw Maleia’s attention on her leg and chuckled. “Do you like it?”

A blush creeped up Maleia’s neck as she tore her gaze from Kailani and stammered, “I-it’s beautiful. Both of them, really. How long have you had them?”

Kailani shrugged. “I’ve always had them.”

An odd reply, thought Maleia. But she was too embarrassed to say anything else. Instead, she pointed towards the water. “Do you want to go swimming?”

One of Kailani's dark brows quirked in surprise, a light glimmering in her eyes. She stood in one fluid motion and sprinted into the surf since she was in a swimsuit already. Unfortunately, Maleia hadn’t thought through this part, realizing too late that she hadn’t brought a swimsuit of her own.

Her hesitation was brief, however. She decided to throw caution to the wind, along with most of her clothes, and chased Kailani into the sea.

They swam and laughed until the sun set fully on the horizon, staining the sky a soft pink. They floated on their backs, whispering with their heads together as they counted the stars that emerged, one by one.

Maleia shared with Kailani the deepest secrets she kept hidden within her heart, and Kailani told Maleia wondrous and magical stories as if she had lived them herself. As the hours crept by, Maleia lost herself more and more in the dark curiosity of Kailani's eyes, and the warm honey of her voice.

She was falling in love with Kailani. And all it had taken was a single evening.

Suddenly, Maleia felt alive. Her skin felt too sensitive, her body buzzing with an unfamiliar feeling. She had been swimming lazily beside Kailani but now she straightened up, treading water. Kailani paused and turned to Maleia, a question forming on her lips.

Before Kailani could get a word out, Maleia pressed her own lips to Kailani's. She instinctively closed her eyes, both against the saltwater and the horror of seeing Kailani's reaction.

Maleia pulled back as quickly as she had pressed in, biting her lip from anxiety. Kailani's expression was unreadable. Without saying a word, they both swam back to shore.

Maleia was prepared to walk into the forest and never look back, otherwise she might die from the embarrassment heating her face. She made it no more than three steps before Kailani's firm hand grasped her wrist and spun her around to face her. Before Maleia could blink, Kailani's full lips were on hers again.

Their arms entwined, deepening the kiss into something hungry and alive, demanding.

As they embraced, the sunset disappeared entirely and the stars shone in the night sky in their unrestrained glory, crowning the women’s hair in silvery light. Maleia lost her sense of time and self until she suddenly discovered the truth of her own heart. The knowledge settled into her chest like a flame, warming her from the inside out.

They separated, breathing hard. Kailani pressed her cheek to Maleia’s and whispered, “It’s dark now. We should go.”

The finality of her tone gave Maleia pause, made her ask, “Will I see you again?”

She felt Kailani's cheek twitch into a soft smile. “Someday, perhaps.”

Maleia understood. Nothing about the evening had felt real. She felt out of place and out of time with the rest of the world. And now she had to go back. So, she sighed. “I’ll miss you.”

“I know. But I can’t stay, and neither can you.”

“I know.”

So, Maleia let go. She pressed one last kiss to Kailani's cheek and waved goodbye as she walked up the gentle slope to the tree line. She looked back only once before walking into the forest, expecting to see Kailani standing by the waterside. But she was gone.

Maleia looked towards the sea. A delicate shark’s fin danced upon the surface of the ocean for a moment before it disappeared beneath the waves.

She smiled. With a newfound truth in her heart and a sweet song on her lips, Maleia went home.