Times Up!

The truth is Life defines you, no matter what age you are. Simple Pleasures arent' so simple. Love is unreachable. It was supposed to be so easy, after what our parents taught us. Hell, it's like fucking Disneyland sometimes. At least that's what it feels like as a Kid. We can't wait to grow up. Yet there is unknown things we are headed for, that may break us. Course they say as we grow up, to be strong. Either way life's mistakes will always catch up to you. They will get you, in the end--

I could feel life's little bit of spark between my fingertips, it was just a simple spark, catching a slight glimpse of it so beautiful, and then it was gone. Learning to go each day alone. I'd had enough, I'd played life as a prank for far too long. The moment I'd decided to give in was the moment I believed My life was truly over. When I realized that when it was truly over, there was no point in my life. No point, because everything you ever work towards, money, love, material things would be gone. You take nothing to your grave, but the pain.

It had become so Tidus, I'd forgotten the people around me that needed me. Hell but at this point, I didn't care anymore. I'd felt the power of love, and lost it. I'd watched her slip out of my grasp. Never to be there again. And the moment I'd found love again, I had decided it was just too much. I was barely giving myself enough to the one I wanted to.

Truthfully, I was far too afraid to give in to the feeling finally sinking back into my depression. Even though my best friend, had become my lover, I'd felt the more faith I had given into it, He'd disappear just like everyone else.

Recently I had taken to the silence around everyone. Quiet, as most didn't really care what was happening in my life. Because I had given up, so long ago. Truly I had watched as a family, friends had just given up on the person I was. They weren't able to handle when shit got hard. It was a loss I just couldn't understand. Family, they were always supposed to be there. But then it was literally just a joke to them. A crazed idiot, nothing more than what Anna had called me crazy Quinn. People were tired of hearing about my feelings, and a lot of people looked at me like I was a disease.

The nightmares were enough to drive me further into madness. My dreams were never my escape. I could still see her when I found her. The water swirled with blood, her body was limp, reaching to grasp her, I could feel the weight of her body in my arms. Heavier than before, she'd never been this cold. That icy touch; crushed my soul. Her head would bob back and forth only to fall forward as her tongue fell loosely from her mouth. It was then I screamed waking in a cold sweat.

This wasn't living...

Looking back on things, guess they might be right I had no right to feel. I suppose it's what even Jermey thought. Or maybe it was those voices bothering me again. Sometimes though his 'silence spoke volumes.' And I'd given up, by the fifth day of feeling off.

I'd decided the silence had to be stopped, just as much as the indefinite ticking in my head. And that sound of my heartbeat within my fingertips. The strange throbbing, in my head, and the sound of silence as he watched me tip further and further into my darkest thoughts.

It didn't make sense why life had to hurt so much. Why not for these one hundred years, or so we couldn't just have happy times? The world made no sense. People just needed to get along, and have just simply good times. But the loss was all around us. And hell we had all lost so much that year, including our dignity that Lennox had taken from us all. She'd destroyed Poor Sarah, and broken Charlie to the point of no return. We'd all thought the madness was behind us, but we were so wrong.

...I am not that strong.

The clock was ticking for the next strange occurrence that one of us wouldn't survive. I could feel the nerves in my stomach even though I couldn't even understand why I was feeling so strange this morning. The acid rose up into my throat, quickly swallowing it back down, as my mind drifted Quinn hadn't eaten in days. It was just a strange feeling a feeling he couldn't shake. The morning felt off, there was something that was within the air. Strangely enough, he could feel it within everything around him. He'd felt that he needed to eat, but it was just so hard. Strangely he was about to break.

Another breakdown that's all he needed. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, his hands brought to his thin cheeks rubbing just under his eyes, acid blue eyes, a slow sigh escaped him. Heading toward the door. The cold tile felt extra numbing to his bare feet, and a soft trickle of rain brushed his cheek as he opened the door. Quinn needed to get some fresh air. Something to brighten his mood, before it crushed his soul. Yet, Clearly, it already had.

Fall had arrived, the rain had touched the grounds the past few days. Bringing much-needed hydration to the grounds. So his soft gaze on the leaves changed from yellow to orange some to brown. It was like a beautiful wonderland as the season's harvest had hit. Condensation had built upon an old spiderweb in the tree. Quinn had taken a deep breath feeling the icy cold air hit his lungs, only to exhale into a foggy breath. Winter was coming, and the leaves would tell the tales of the summer past. He'd have been having strange feelings, but the truth was there was some solitude to his nightmares. This season was changing and so was he.

Flashing back to a memory of the two of them, Jeremy and Quinn had fought that day. Even at this point, he couldn't remember what they were fighting about, but Quinn had bolted and left. He could hear Jeremy's footsteps coming up from behind him, only wanting to run further away, but he really didn't know where to go. And that fight replayed. It was about Lennox, how Jeremy had grown tired of it, tired of Quinn not being able to forgive her. He told him he needed him to be whole in their relationship. Let go of her, she's gone. But was she... was she really gone?

Last night had been a rough night for both of them. They really hadn't forgiven each other yet. Neither of them was talking, and Jeremy had been gone all day. Pretty sure he'd gone to get high. Quinn just didn't want to talk about it anymore. He felt if Jeremy wanted it over, it might as well be. No one was ever really going to be able to stay...

"Hey!!!" His eyes went to a kid in the street, a grasp of a blue ball held tightly within his hands, as he stood about to be hit. A truck speeding through the neighborhood. Quinn took off running and went to grasp the kid up, only shove him as Quinn fell to the ground seeing the kid was okay. He stood, his eyes still upon the boy not noticing the black truck that slammed into him. His body hit the windshield only to flip upwards and drop to the other side. 'Hey' still echoed within his head, as Quinn laid completely taken back, his body had hit the asphalt so hard. It was hard to breathe, he couldn't move. And then. there she was. 'Lennox', a soft smile across her face, as he stared at her, only to see the strange black mass moving from behind her, grasping him up into its arms almost cradling him, as the face of death had caught him, and though his body hadn't moved, his soul had. Quinn could feel the blood within his lungs, and the choking feeling of death taking his breath. Slowly he was released, as his hand fell to the side, the only part of him that was still clinging, dropping as if it had fallen for another reason.

Hearing those words.

"Times up!"