Time Into Ash

A/N: This story will be published in the Mid Rivers Review, run by the St. Charles Community College, later this year(2021)! Please enjoy.

PS: the photo is unrelated for the most part and hopefully temporary <3

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Moments define our lives. Moments of action, moments of stillness, moments of joy, and especially, the darkest moments.

And the moments preceding us meeting the fire undeniably changed our lives forever.

~

I tug my brother's arm faster down the path as a root crunches under my foot. I gasp for breath in the smoke that suddenly filled the forest. I don't want to ask... Was it our fault?

I hear my twin brother cough and rush forward to keep up. The trees fly past, as well as the knowledge that each might be burned to ashes. Each unique tree, with its rings and leaves and reaching branches could all be gone in a matter of minutes.

Well... So could we.

I shake my head and duck under a half-fallen tree, around a rock, and shoulder through a full bush with flipped leaves. I spare a single moment wondering why before readjusting my grip on my brother's hand to make sure he was still following.

As we run I think over the quietness around the campfire just hours ago. We hadn't spoken much, not after a quick argument about losing the trail. The plan did include staying the night in the forest, but much closer to the road to our east. Not in the middle of nowhere.

I jump over a log and wait to catch my brother's landing. We stand on either side of the rotten log without moving.

"Leone."

"Where are we going?"

I look past him to the smoke I can see through the canopy and the soft glow that seems like an early sunset. I return my gaze to my brother, our hands entwined across a breach. "We have to get home."

"And when we reach home? We're too far from anyone else, too far from safety. There's not-"

I jerk him forward and stare into his eyes, deep brown with a corner changed to gold. I scowl as my knee hits the bark. "We have to keep going."

He lets out a small sigh and using his other arm for balance, he joins me on the other side of the log. "Lead the way."

I take off, my brother in tow. I'm sorry. Just... I don't want to die. I don't want to lose you, lose home, lose everything.

We try to ignore the crackles of flame to our backs that slowly grow fainter until we pass a tree stump cut cleanly near the ground. I stop by its side and risk standing on it to see behind us. "I can't see the light anymore."

Leone turns and watches with me in silence.

I cough and hop off, jogging onto a rough, overgrown trail. It takes a sharp left turn and through a wall of trees and leaves I notice a darker brown and an unnatural shimmer. I grin and follow the trail until it opens into a clearing inhabited by an old wooden cabin. Although the door is rotted away and the windows are broken on the front porch, I call it safety.

I laugh and run inside, breaking out of my brother's grip. I barely notice him following me, the dark dust-ridden air of the cabin giving me relief. I stumbled back against the wall and I cover my mouth as I smile.

"Hey Jaz?"

Leone's voice echoes around the main room as I take a deep breath and look at him standing in the middle of an empty room.

"There's nothing here."

"It's not like we expected to find anything. But that's fine. We can wait it out here!" I step forward and spin, my heart relaxing and beating slower.

I freeze as a tree falls far away, followed by the gentle snaps of flame.

"Can't we?"

"No."

I blink at his sudden answer. He... "Are you sure?"

Leone grimaces and walks over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. His hands are surprisingly cold, but his gaze was warm and gentle. "Have you ever been asked, 'If you were dying, what would you do?'"

I lower my head and try to hold back tears. Dying. Such a strong word.

"Tell my girlfriend I love her. I... I've never told her that before."

"Why not?"

I tense and shiver. "I don't want to lose her."

"You..." Leone takes a moment to lift my chin with a careful touch. He's always been a lot more comfortable with touch than I have. "You should write a letter."

"A letter? But don't we have to run?"

"We can make time. You have a notebook and a pencil?"

I nod and he calmly steps away, a surprisingly bright smile on his face. "You can do this, Jaz."

I dare a smile as well before gathering the items I need to write a letter for my girlfriend waiting at home. It's worth it. It has to be. As I kneel on the ground of the abandoned cabin, I watch Leone lean against the front window. Pale, clouded light throws delicate shadows across his face, making his familiar features dramatic and foreboding.

"Do you really think she'll read this someday?"

His smile disappears. "We can only hope. The fire is getting closer..."

"I know..." In the distance, a small pop reminds me of the smoke on the breeze. "I'm scared."

He kneels down next to me and hugs me close. He glances at the dusty, rotten windows of the short-lived refuge I found. "Me too."

"I want to leave."

"You need to write. Then we'll escape, I promise."

I wipe away a tear and start to write, hoping my tears don't stain the paper. 'Dear love. If you find this, please know that I love you. Ever since we met, I've wanted to know more about you. And the more I learned, the more I admired you. Your drive, your passion, your relentless heart. No matter the goal and no matter how it changes, you always try your best. I loved watching you. You are such a blessing to me.'

"Leone."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know what I should say. What if these are my last words to her?"

The look he gives me tells me everything I should say. The sadness, finality, hope, and desperation of facing death, all in a single sentence. I nod and finish my letter. I plant a lip-stick kiss on the corner, the light orange colour threatening tears once again. I close it and take a moment to hide it inside my thick metal canteen. I dump out the water, the rotting wood already worse for wear, and the rolled up letter fit inside perfectly. I cap it and place it in the middle of my backpack.

"Ready?"

I grab his hand. "Yes. You know I love you right?"

My brother pauses and faces me. "I love you too." He swallows, a shine in his eyes turning gray with smoke. He pulls me to my feet and we take off.

To the end of the forest and back.

~

The run out of the forest is desperate, our breaths and glances back crazed. But the trees start to thin, the bushes sparse and allows light to reflect off of our way out. The land dips and as we jump down the small hills to the bottom, I notice the wide stream awaiting our arrival. I grab Leone’s hand and he matches my speed for us to reach the edge of the stream at the same time. The clear water ripples over rocks and under a fallen tree, but I don’t see it as a refuge.

“Isn’t this stream miles away from the road on the map?”

My breath catches and I stare at my brother, his eyes stuck on the water and the implication. Ash runs over the top of the water from our right and I take a deep breath. The smell of broken trees, rotting leaves, and smoke mingle together until I gather enough courage to lift my head.

“We’re surrounded.”

Fire, flames, flickers and cracks, on all sides.

“When did it get so close?”

The echoing question without a true answer fuels my smile. A smile that gives us both hope in… something. Anything. And as I watch my brother, my heart flutters and flies like a bird freed from a cage. Freed from the last line I wrote in a letter hidden in my backpack. Believing that together we could possibly be free.

I know you will survive, even if I am unable to. I believe that.