The Vigil

Josh had ventured out yesterday to forage for food and supplies. He returned with a meager haul in his satchel, and a bloodied left ankle. The cuff of his pants leg was shredded.

'Dogs' he signed to Erika. The look of horror on Erika's face magnified.

'How bad is it, let me see,' her hands frantically replied as she moved towards him. Josh dropped the satchel and hobbled to the bed, wincing at the pain.

'No, that's the last of the vodka, don't use all of it. We may need it later,' they looked at each other grimly. Erika set the bottle down and helped Josh take his shoe off. The blood had filled it and his sockless and badly blistered foot now looked like some kind of crimson mythical creature's appendage.

'We have to stop the bleeding,' she pulled the sheet off the bed and tore it into strips as Josh leaned back to elevate his leg. She went back for the bottle of vodka, and turned to Josh, gesturing she'd only use a little. He sighed and nodded in resignation. Using some of the linen she gently poured the vodka onto them and started to clean his wound. Josh started to wind the strips down his shin as she went. After she had finished, Josh motioned for Erika to get the satchel. They looked through the contents of it together; a plastic cup, some twine, a hubcap, and a small ball peen hammer that had only half of a handle.

Erika couldn’t help but think if Josh's venturing outside today and if it was worth it. But with spring coming, hopefully there would be more foliage to gather. They could stretch what little food they still had over the next few days. Josh of course wouldn't be able to go back out until his wound healed. If it healed at all. She put the things back in the satchel as she pushed that horrible thought out of her mind.

She went back to Josh's side and tried to make him more comfortable. He looked exhausted but that wasn't anything new. Erika would usually ask for a retelling of his experiences in the world outside. This was the first time she hesitated to ask. She brushed his hair away from his eyes, and he smiled at her. 'Rest now,' she signed, he took her hand into his and kissed her palm.

'Talk later,' he replied. Erika went back to the window, it was starting to get dark. She imagined as she did many times that soon the darkness would be so complete that it was like her eyes were closed when they were in fact still open. There wasn't any moonlight, or stars in the sky. Sleep was difficult at times as she dreamed that she could hear everything. Waking up was the worst as she would do so crying. Josh knew about her dreams and would hold and console her. He would tell her stories. Stories about the world before which would always lead into longer conversations. She would ask questions and sometimes his answers were met with skepticism and unbelief. 'I swear, it's true,' he would assure her. She would give him her playful side eye glance that would always make him laugh, and her too.

She went to the bedside table and opened it. She took out the headlamp, wrapped it around the milk jug filled with water. It made a good enough lantern but she would only use it to look at the bandages this time. Josh stirred a bit, then propped himself up on his elbow.

'Bandages look good,' she signed. 'How do you feel?'

'It hurts, but at least I can feel it which is good right? OK, your turn to tell me a story,' he said.

'Me?' She grinned in the lantern light, and began to sign, 'Once upon a time...'

Over the following days, Josh developed a high fever. Despite Erika's efforts, his temperature had not gone down. He was drenched in sweat. They were out of strips of linen, so Erika had to use Josh's shirt. The wound was not looking very good, and the vodka had also run out. She resorted to using the water from the jug but that may be part of the reason the wound wasn't getting any better.

She had sat by his side, she couldn't, didn't want to look outside the window. She could paint the scene from just the image she saw in her head. She crawled into bed with Josh, trying to fit the contour of him with hers. As she did so she could see the window and the coal gray sky above. She thought whimsically that this view could be like a blank piece of paper waiting for another story to fill it. Josh's breathing had synchronized with Erika's now. She closed her eyes and placed her hand on his chest, using the steady beat of it to lull her to sleep. The vigil would start again in a short while. But for now, as ever, she hoped to dream of seeing what was just beyond what she could see from the window.