The View from Up Here

Looking out over the horizon, I yet again wonder what I'm doing here. I don't mean here on Earth in that metaphysical, dark way. I just mean here, at this cliff, watching this beautiful sunset. The colors are blossoming in vibrant hues of purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows. I could almost convince myself it was a painting in a museum. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I don't know how I was lucky enough to stop and see it unfold before me.

I'm not usually the sentimental type, but something about this horizon is pulling all my attention. I can't look anywhere else. All my senses come alive as I think of what I can see, hear, taste, touch, and smell. It's how I ground myself during these precious moments on top of the cliff. I want to remember all of it, so I ground myself and use all my senses to fully understand the world around me. It's a trick I learned when I was young and needed to remember something important. My senses connect me to the world, each in unique ways.

I can see the city skyline in the distance. The dark buildings suddenly light up as people come home, turn on their lights amid the darkening sky, and begin their nightly rituals. It's a wonderful sight to see all those small flickers of light amid the hues of the setting sun. It reminds me that I'm not alone. That there are others out there living their life like me. It's like watching tiny fireflies blink on and off in the field as a child.

I hear the wind as it rustles through the trees along the cliffside. The leaves crunch underneath my shifting feet, but I barely hear them over the soft sounds of the breeze cascading past me down the cliff. The rain pelting against my car behind me and along my back barely registers as I stare in wonder at this beauty around me.

My mouth hangs open so I taste the rain as it drips down from my hair and into my waiting mouth. It's the kind of slow drizzle perfect for cuddling up at home with a cup of tea and a good book. But here on the cliff, it's the perfect rainstorm for distorting the world around me. I don't notice anything except the vibrancy right in front of me. The rain distorts the curving road behind me, and the trees around me are a mass of unknown. All I can focus on is the lights in the distance as they come alive, seemingly coming closer and closer as the twilight of night descends.

My hands fumble as I reach for my phone from my back pocket. I want to take a picture to remember this exactly as it happens. Myself, the view, the cliff, the rain; it all plays a part in how tomorrow unfolds. I start with myself leaning against my car, which is now parked along the roadside behind me. The rain blows my hair around my shoulders. Then I change the camera angle and snap a picture of the sunset, the trees, and down the side of the cliff.

Breathing deeply, I smell the blood, fire, and fumes as my eyes finally fall from the sunset to the car wreck mangled at the bottom of the cliff. It all seemed so perfect. A rainy car ride through the mountains on my way home from dinner. But now I'm staring into a blazing inferno, wondering how I didn't see the other car coming around the bend.