The Templar Survival Guide to New York

When Richard woke up to the smell of cheese, his silver sword was stuck in the Domino's pizza oven. His last memory is at the walls of Constantinople in 1453, where an Ottoman arquebus pierced his embroidered burqa.

"Dude, your cosplay stuff is so cool!" Carlos, the Mexican store manager, tapped the handle of his sword. "It's stuck in the heating pipe. It's $300."

Richard suddenly grabbed Carlos by the arms-a secret Templar technique for identifying heretics. When he felt the vibration in his partner's pulse, he retreated in horror and knocked over the ketchup bucket: "Devil! You have a mechanical demon in your heart!"

Sirens were heard three blocks away. Richard took the oven as a shield and rushed out the door to find that his unicorn had been transformed into a Harley with an Uber Eats livery. The car suddenly said, "Knight, I suggest you turn on combat mode."

Instinctively, he tweaked the throttle and the motorcycle's exhaust spewed blue flames, melting the bumper of the approaching police car. In the rearview mirror, Carlos comes after him holding up a glowing pizza box: "Your chrono navigator!"