The Swedish Woman

Crying, the passengers held each other close as the ship began to tilt and fill. The lights had long since gone out, and they only had each other to hold onto as they awaited their fate. Somewhere off in the distance, a woman began to sing, voices slowly joining hers in unison. Anna and Jonas held each other tightly, his voice whispering an apology as he brushed her hair with his hand, tears streaming down his face. She thought not of her life as a little girl, nor of her mother’s cooking that she loved, or of the man who sealed her fate on the ship, but of her sweet daughters whom she left behind when they began their journey.

The thought of Alicia walking into her room to wake her for breakfast that her own mother prepared. Emilia, her second child, already seated eating the eggs and toast. They made it a tradition to pick flowers outside the house for the center piece before Anna woke, and Emilia was happy to show off the little dandelions sitting in the cup. She hugged her girls with love, and after breakfast she received her list from her mother for her trip into town.

The morning air was cool, her breath left a trail as she strolled down the street to the market. From afar, a young man visiting had spotted Anna and watched with interest as she picked up groceries for her family. “May I help you?” he had asked when he finally built the courage to approach her, a note of an American accent hidden under his Swedish. The question had caught Anna off-guard, and she was left confused for a moment, “With the bags I mean,” he chuckled nervously. He was handsome, tall with dark hair that was combed back, a trimmed beard and gentle blue eyes. She hesitated for a moment before giving one of the bags. They chatted the entire way home, and once she arrived her daughters came out to get the bags looking at the man questioningly. “Your siblings?” He asked, waving to them as they walked back in shyly.

“Actually,” she says, “They are my daughters. Emilia is the youngest with the dark hair and Alicia is the blond, she got that from her father.”

Jonas shifts his feet, “I apologize, I did not realize you were spoken for.”

Anna shook her head sadly, “He passed, about four years ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Jonas replied, running his hand through his hair, “I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known.”

She gives a small smile before thanking him for his help and going back inside. After this, they would continue to see each other in town before Jonas built up the courage to ask her on a date. Anna remembers telling him no, that he must wait until she felt ready. He waited months, almost a year, until she finally said yes.

The little girls loved Jonas, and he loved to shower them with gifts and affection. Having moved to the town for a job, he made enough to get by and enough to splurge when he wanted to. Jonas told Anna that with her, he felt like things were looking positive and that soon they would be able to make a new home for all of them. She did not know what it meant at first, but she never expected that they would move.

Anna remembers he came home excited, with a bottle of wine and sweets for the family. Her father and mother were sitting by the fireplace curious about the occasion. “I got them!” he exclaimed to Anna who was preparing to put her daughters to bed. “Got what?” she asked, confused. The day was just like any other day, and there was nothing planned for them. But he stood beaming, popping the cork off the bottle he pours cups of wine and hands the sweets to the kids despite Anna’s protest. She knew that they would not sleep now, “No sweets past 8! They won’t be able to sleep, my love.” He put his cup down along with the bottle before taking her hand and twirling around the room, “But this is a day to celebrate!”

She giggles at this, confused, “What celebration?” As she comes to a stop, he produces two pieces of paper. Looking them over she looks shocked and then laughs, “You are playing with me, aren’t you?”

“Two tickets for the Titanic,” he says excitedly as her parents look stunned, now standing from their chairs.

Anna held the tickets for what felt like eternity, “These couldn’t possibly be real? How would you have acquired these? We don’t make enough for such luxuries.” He hands over another piece of paper, a contract for a new position in America. “I was born there,” he says as she looks up at him, “it would be an easy transfer for me, and the ship leaves in two weeks. We could go, start a new life, a new home.”

“Jonas,” Anna says, “there are only two tickets.”

“I know,” he answers, “we will go, and I will come back for everyone else once we are settled. I promise, we will not abandon your family.” Anna looked over at her parents and kids, stunned, unable to speak. Jonas’s look changed from the cheery excitable man to concern and worry. “I don’t even know English,” she states worriedly, “I can’t just uproot myself out of nowhere. You might be able to make the move, but what if I can’t? What if I am denied?”

“Then we figure it out,” Jonas said hopefully. She looked to her mother who nodded her head, smiling. Anna had always wanted to travel, but life for her had never been fair. She wanted something new, just as Jonas wanted a better life for them all. Her daughters ate their sweets, excitedly chattering to each other about possibly moving to America, never before seeing the outside world. A ball began to form in her stomach, the image of her daughters being born and holding them for the first time. Being together during everything, including their father’s death, this would be the first time they would ever be away from each other.

“My doves,” she said, arms outstretched, “come here.” They run wrapping their arms around her skirt, giggling looking up at her. The chocolate on their faces smeared on her clothes. “What do you two think?” she asked them, “Do you wish for us to move? It will be a while before we are together again.”

“Yes, momma!” Alicia squealed, “I want to see America with you, and we have grandma and grandpa to watch us!” Emilia nodded, happily agreeing with her sister. With that, she knew her answer, and she hugged them both tight as though if she let them go, they might disappear.

Anna held tightly to the memory of her little doves. The warmth of their love, the smell of the chocolate, the fire that crackled. As the icy water wrapped around the passengers, her last thought was of them waiting for Jonas to return everyday so that they may see their mother again. What would they think when they heard the news? Would they even know, or would they simply think that she abandoned them to the new world? Her heart grew heavy, and she cried for her daughters. But despite her cries lost to the sea, her love was eternity.