The Shape of You

God had painted the world with a thin layer of sheer silver that gave everything an illuminating effect; Jonah breathed in slowly, quietly, as he leaned back against the old wooden bench. His eyes were on the still water of the pond but not actually looking at it. Instead, the pictures in his mind flashed before him brilliantly, almost as if they were where he was instead.

The chilled breeze, like frozen fingers, brushed against his face like a lover in the middle of the night when the fire goes out.

“You’re going to catch a cold,” her crystal sharp voice, like always, inspired the corners of his mouth to soften. There was just something melodic and soothing and so specific about the sound that flowed out of her mouth when she spoke.

“I’m dressed warmly enough,” he replied easily, knowing full well that her eyebrows were knitted together with worry. She always worried about him.

Sometimes he wondered if she was even real.

In the winter sun, her skin glowed angelically, eyes closed as she pondered the chilled wind that played with her hair and brushed against her skin.

Suddenly, the snow covered world smelled of frosting and innocent dreams.

“I think the world has had enough of us today,” she declared, and as though the universe decided she was correct, the clouds drifted ever so smoothly to allow the sun a moment to be seen.

That was when he turned to look at her, dressed in a euphoric shimmer as the sun kissed her image. Jonah felt half jealous of the celestial orb, wishing he was the one kissing her soft skin. He wanted to tell her that, but instead a quiet chuckle escaped his lips “You think so, do you?”

Turning her head, she cast her amber colored eyes on him with one raised eyebrow; “You don’t?” She quipped back, and he could see the flush around her ears begin to deepen. He adored her little quirks that she displayed when her feathers got ruffled.

“Tell me, Annie,” he loved how her name sounded out loud. “If you were a bird, which bird would you be?” It was always a fun game of his, to throw random questions at her. He could always count on her to give a witty reply.

Twinkling, glittery sounds escaped her lips as she threw her head back joyfully; “Jonah, you would be a rooster, you cocky brat.” His laughter joined hers, and he desperately wanted to engulf his arms around her small frame, to feel her heart beat against his own chest, and to breathe in her essence. For, despite the bitter cold, she was a white flame that wiped away the freezing temperature.

When his breathing quieted, he took a moment to appreciate the stillness of the snowglobe scene before him; the pond’s water was mirror-still with infinite diamond crystals sprinkled across its surface. The bench under him felt solid and protective, and he appreciated it because he couldn’t feel his bootclad feet. Above him, the willow draped her quiet tendrils around him, as though she could shield him from the rest of the world.

It wasn’t the world he wanted to escape, he mused, it was everyone else.

“Even me?” Annie’s voice rung quietly, yet crystal clear; it shook Jonah from his thoughts, and he looked at her with disbelief that his words had been spoken out loud. She sounded so sweet, so caring.

Her voice was starting to hurt.

“Annie,” he whispered, not trusting his own so much. “You are not everyone else… You are everyTHING.”

His trembling hand slid across the bench, not even feeling the thin sliver of wood that penetrated his flesh; Annie backed away a sliver of an inch, but to him it felt like miles away.

“Jonah…” Sadness washed over her quietly and gently, and then crashed into him like a symphony’s final crescendo. “Jonah..” Her voice was soft and blurry with tears. A sweet face so sad- he couldn’t bear looking at her, so he buried his face into his palms.

“Jonah, please look at me,” she begged until he brought his gaze up to meet hers.

“You were everything to me,” he whispered through unshed tears; he had cried them all out years ago. Her quiet nod in response caused his heart to squeeze and cripple. Still, he managed to continue speaking. “I see you every day, and I dream about you every night. The man you see today…” He swallowed hard. It felt like he was trying to breathe in glass, “You are the reason I am the man I am today, and God I wish you could have gotten the chance to see it.”

Her smile touched him, and he felt her warmth; her image was already starting to fade.

“It wasn’t because of me, Jonah,” her voice felt like velvet to his ears. “You loved me, so you became a man who could love. So, please, don’t stop loving.” A shimmer of tears trickled down her cheeks, “please, do not stop being the man I love.” Annie looked at him so sincerely and passionately, his heart wanted to explode.

“You would be a phoenix,” he whispered. If you were any other shape, any other form, any other being.. You would be a phoenix.”

She was already gone, but the sky was painted red and gold.