The Safest Place

There was only one place she could go and hide when life seemed too hard, too unfair, or too precarious. Only one place where she felt safe and disconnected from all the problems she so wanted to escape.

She had discovered it by chance the previous summer. It was after the funeral, and she had wanted to run away from the sympathetic faces, the condolences, and all the crying. She felt guilty because she had yet to shed a tear, and being around people who seemed like endless fountains of that unexplainable action which was crying made her feel awkward and disjointed from the world.

She had grabbed Artax, her best friend the Jack Russell, and fled the scene like a criminal who’s making haste not to be caught redhanded. Once they were far enough from the house, she had put Artax down and run, her companion keeping up with ease.

She had taken her shoulder bag where she always carried a notebook and pens, pencils, and markers. She was hoping to find a place to sit down and jot down or doodle her feelings. It was the only way she had to express herself and let out all that would otherwise bottle up inside her.

She stopped running, tired and breathless, and continued walking until she spied an old barn in the distance. It seemed decrepit and run down, as if it hadn’t been used in years. Not far off was a house that showed the same appearance of abandon and neglect as the old barn. The walls of the structure still carried that red color so characteristic of Swedish farm buildings. That beautiful, vivid red that had been used in the country for over a century. Falu red, it was called, a great example of reusing waste, Astrid thought. Her mom had told her all about the history of why all the houses (or most of them) were dressed in that warm color when Astrid was in the “why” stage of her infancy. Her incredible memory had allowed her to keep those facts well organized in the cabinets of her mind, for her to dig up anytime she deemed necessary. On that day of her great escape, those memories had come flowing through her mind like a tsunami passing ruthlessly through a town and dissipating everything in its wake.

“What do you think Artax, shall we go in?” The canine looked up at her with what looked like a smile, wagging his tail in anticipation of a great adventure.

She heard thunder, looked up at the sky, and realized that the clouds had been getting cozier together, darker, and more ominous. A rainfall was imminent.

“I guess we have no choice, my friend.”

She found a corner in the barn where there were no holes in the ceiling, and decided to sit there. There was still some farming equipment inside, mostly useless, rusted hand tools. There were piles of hay scattered around, and she found a perfect spot that not only covered them from the rain, but that had some hay that served as a comfortable sitting place.

Drawing her knees to herself, hugging her legs, and looking at her friend, she finally started to cry as the first drops from the sky fell peacefully onto the ground.

In another corner of the barn, a bright light shone with increasing intensity.

*************

At twelve, Astrid was a perceptive, taciturn, and highly intelligent child. She had always been an artistic kid, encouraged by her parents. She loved their house by the water in the Archipelago. It was so quiet and peaceful and it allowed her to get her creativity flowing like an endless stream of good energy. It made her feel alive and grateful. It was what kept her going and what had helped her get through the loss of her mom. That and Artax. Her dad had changed. He still loved his daughter, but he was withdrawn and showed no enthusiasm when she shared one of her creations the way he had before the tragedy that shook up his life.

“We are moving,” her father said suddenly one day while they were having breakfast. Astrid would usually eat accompanied by a good book, since her father always sat silently across from her the few times they shared a meal together. Startled, she looked up from her copy of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn as if she had just noticed for the first time that he sat there.

“What do you mean?” She spoke softly.

“Uhmmm… well… as I said… we are moving,” he looked up from his breakfast bowl. He held his daughter’s gaze with his inscrutable deep blue eyes. Blue like the depths of the ocean, swimming in a crippling sadness.

“Oh.” She replied, unable to find any other words to convey her dismay. She closed the book, put her hands on the edge of the table and pushed her chair away from it. Got up. Picked up her plate and washed it quietly. Called the Jack Russell and left the house noiselessly.

Her father watched her passively, as if removed from the scene, thinking whether he was doing what was best for his daughter. He loved her deeply, but looking at her hurt an awful lot, she reminded him so much of his wife. He couldn’t bear it.

As soon as Astrid was out of sight, she ran towards her safe place. A barn that transported her to a world of magic and possibilities. Artax led the way, knowing where they were heading. He loved the place as much as she did. He knew that soon he’d be chasing bunnies and squirrels, and other creatures that no other dog had ever had the pleasure of running after.

“Light be the barn,” Astrid said almost in a whisper. Suddenly, a bright light appeared in the same corner as it had that afternoon on an August summer day a year ago.

Artax barked in joy and hurried to the light. Astrid followed quickly, looking around, as usual, to make sure there was no one around to witness their secret.

“Baldurianne. Baldurianne.” Muttered the girl.

The light was the doorway to the world of fairies and magic that she had crossed for the first time the day of her mother’s funeral. Artax had gone running chasing some creature or other. In this world, he was able to run not only on solid ground, but also in the sky. No sooner had she pronounced the name the second time than a beautiful fairy with olive skin, dark, silky locks, and big, brown eyes appeared with a calming aura, surrounded by an alluring light that exuded a soothing energy that instantly lulled the girl.

“What is it, child?” She said in a musical voice. She floated just above the floor, her bare feet covered in sparkles that made her shine brighter. Baldurianne was the first fairy Astrid had met in this place. She had consoled her and helped her since that first meeting to cope with the loss of her mother.

“My father… my father… wants us to move… to the city, I think. He didn’t say, but I suspect…” Sobbed the girl.

“Oh, child. I know. Remember, in this realm we can see and hear everything that happens in your world. I thought you might come soon. ” She said, holding Astrid in a warm embrace.

“He’s not himself. I miss him. I don’t think he loves me anymore, Baldurianne. He doesn’t seem to care whether I come or go, whether I’m there or not. And now he wants us to move. Without this place… without this place…” She was incapable of finishing the sentence. She started crying helplessly, attracting the attention of all creatures around, including Artax, who hurried back to his human to console her.

Baldurianne held the girl softly by the shoulders and pushed her gently away in an effort to look around. The girl fell down in a sitting position on the ground as if unable to sustain her own body weight. Artax jumped on her lap and licked her face, wishing her tears away.

Baldurianne adopted a pensive posture, musing the way only fairies know how to do, as if digging deep inside a well of knowledge that only she had access to.

“Don’t despair,” she pronounced suddenly with a bright smile that intensified her beautiful light and all the sparkles that covered her body. Astrid looked up timidly, a glimmer of hope in her bright green eyes. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Astrid and Artax looked at the place she had stood not a second ago, now empty air, except for the bees and butterflies that went about their business of pollinating flowers that flickered in the sunlight.

They didn’t have to wait long, as she appeared almost as suddenly as she had disappeared, carrying a small vial with a glowing purple liquid inside.

“Give this to your dad. Only a few drops will do. You can keep the rest for other times, when you or someone you care about needs happy thoughts to flood their minds and conquer unwanted tribulations.” She handed the girl the little bottle with a chain that she could put around her neck.

“How does it work? Asked the girl feebly. “Won’t his drink taste funny?”.

“No, child. This potion has no taste. You can mix it with anything. Food, drinks… anything. It will take a few moments to work, but it will work. Your dad will still miss your mom, but the happy thoughts of his life will become abundant in his mind, helping him remember why life is still precious and how much he does love you. Your dad right now only sees the hollow left after your mom’s departure. He can’t see the good things. He looks at you and sees someone who’s not there anymore. This will help him see someone he loves, and someone who lives through you. His perspective will change.” She smiled magnanimously, “go on now, before it’s too late. You still have time.”

Astrid and Artax got up to leave. She thanked Baldurianne and promised she’d be back soon.

*********

That night, the girl slipped a few drops of the purple liquid in the tea she made for her dad. She waited.

He drank his tea in the living room while reading one of his wife’s favorite books. It was late and Astrid was tired, but she wanted to see how the potion worked on her dad. She fell asleep on the couch while pretending to read, Artax resting on her lap.

She woke up on her bed the next morning. She could hear the sounds of cutlery and plates coming from the kitchen. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she was awake. She descended the stairs slowly, furtively, to find out what was happening. She found her dad making breakfast!

Her mouth moved to form an “O”, her eyes widened like plates. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. He was whistling and making her favorite: pancakes with lingonberry sauce and whipped cream. Artax let out a joyous bark.

“Oh! Hello, you two!” Her dad said jovially. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Dad!!!!” Screamed the girl, happy to see the person she had known before the tragic death of her mom.

“Hey, hey! I’m happy to see you too. Oh, by the way, I’ve decided against that moving business, and I thought today we could go out with the boat, what do you think?”

“Yes, dad, that sounds perfect,” said the girl, smiled her old smile, looked at Artax, and winked.

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