The Sad Man

When he sat down on his favorite bench there was a half-full coffee cup sitting there. There usually is. That or some sticky drink. Always partially full. You can't just toss it out. The liquid would make a mess in the garbage can. And who wants to take it all the way to the bathroom to dump it out? It's easier to leave it there. Plus with the trash on the bench next to him, there isn't room for another person. Unless they make it awkward. And they too often do.

Right after work and he is feeling lonely. Instead of going home to an empty apartment, he comes here. For years now. The too loud crowds. The obnoxious children. All these people oohing and aahing over some sad dolphins in a tank.

It's blue here and confined. Somehow it feels heavy. Like the weight of all that water is pressing down on him. He likes that feeling. In spite of all the crowds.

Maybe he likes the crowds too, in a way. They too are heavy and oppressive. The whole thing is like some giant weighted blanket. There is some strange security in all this “too much”.

What are you doing Bob? said one dolphin to another in their dolphin squeaks and clicks.

The sad man is here! Bob replies. I like him. He's fun!

All the “two legs” are fun Bob.

Yeah, but he is my favorite.

Sometimes the dolphins are by the glass and sometimes they are not. Crowds will come and go confused as to why they are here when there is nothing to see. Not taking the time to find out, they scurry out when they don't see the dolphins. Other times the dolphins are here and they wait too long, loitering until the place is jam-packed.

The dolphins are back. The one with the scar on its nose. The man stares at them for a few minutes before he slips back into thought.

He thinks to himself “Do the dolphins know that they are in a sort of prison? Do they have the concept of prison?”

His eyes glaze over as he ponders the dolphins in their prison.

Look! We are playing peek-a-boo again. Bob says wriggling, barely able to contain his enthusiasm.

He looks at me for a bit and then disappears inside of himself.

How do they do that Bob?

I don't know but it's a fun game!

I think the fish givers are here, let's go get some Bob.

Okay, let's go.

“They must know that this is a prison. Maybe not in the same way that we think of prisons but in the sense that they are trapped here. They can't swim out into the ocean. They can't migrate to someplace tropical.” The sad man remembers the dolphins are in front of him and refocuses but they are no longer there.

“How sad it must be it must be to have to beg for your food.” The sad man mumbles to himself. He can see the dolphins in the distance. They are jumping in and out of the water eating the fish that are being tossed to them.

“How pathetic these poor creatures are.” He thinks to himself. As he watches them eat he slips back into deeper thought.

How wonderful it is having fresh fish tossed to you for every meal!

I know Bob, it's great! So much better than the ocean and having to fight for your food.

You wanna do a flip Bob?

Obviously!

Okay, You go first.

“I wish I could go someplace tropical.” The sad man sighs. “There is no way though. I don't have the money and even if I did its not like I could get the time off work.”

He ponders for a bit. He is thinking maybe there is some way. “What if I drive down to Miami? It's not that far. I could do it over the weekend. Not exactly my dream vacation but it is doable.”

The impulse to abandon his plan making washes over him like a warm wave of despair.“Nope. I don't even have the money for a weekend in shitty Miami.”

Without much effort he gives up.“Foucault was right. Tout est une prison. Everything is a prison. Work, my apartment, this city, my relationships, everything.”

Disgusted with himself and his thoughts the sad man stands up and begins to walk away. He is too exhausted to notice that the dolphins are back. On his way out he trips over an abandoned flip-flop and curses. Instantly furious. He leaves the aquarium with his mind swirling black despair and red rage.

The dolphins see him leaving and squeal and click their goodbyes in unison.

Bye sad man! Have a great day!

See you tomorrow!