The Rollercoaster

I cannot describe the way I felt when her fingers slipped in between mine, clasping our palm lines together like the threads of fate weaved together into a tapestry of love - a blanket wrapping our bodies together in the warmth of the future they predicted.

She pulled me along, despite my protests, through the crowds to the line of couples awaiting the time of their lives. We waited, talking about whatever we could think of, our favorite movies and what made them masterpieces, our favorite foods and what made them delicacies, our favorite games to play and what made them classics.

The line moved and we got closer to the massive metallic rollercoaster that loomed large above us, a breath-taking adventure for the two of us. As we stepped forward, we talked about whatever we could think of, the family we’d have one day, the lessons we’d learned from our past relationships, the ways our parents had messed us up and the ways we’d risen from their mistakes and learned better.

When we finally reached the front of the line, we knew everything about each other - even the things that hadn’t happened to us yet. We knew each fact and detail, reciting them back to each other and grinning the whole time like we’d won the lottery. We could trace out each possible future, the names of our children, the homes we’d buy, the jobs we’d work, the meals we’d make together.

“‘The Fault in Our Stars’,” I’d say, parroting her answer in her voice, “because it’s such a true love story.” She’d grin, nodding rapidly as I ran through the rest of her answers. “Lasagna because your mom makes it better than anyone else. ‘Animal Crossing’ because you love to design their clothes and make everything look pretty.” With each answer, her eyes sparkled and her smile widened. “Three kids, all girls: Alexis, McKenna, and Avery, the names of your baby dolls growing up. We’ll live in New York, but outside the city. I’ll be a lawyer and you’ll be a stay-at-home mom. We’ll make lasagna and try to crack your mom’s secret recipe.” I see the sparkle, the smile, the nods of approval at my skill at memorizing.

The train pulled up and we were seated in our cart. I locked myself in, securing my seat, but she wouldn’t let me help her. She could do it herself. I trusted her, even though I could see the final buckle wasn’t connected all the way.

The train lurched and pulled away from the station, the wheels rattling along the metallic track as we started to climb up the first hill. We looked at each other smiling and she gripped my hand tightly. Not the same as before, our fingers didn’t interlock. She held it from the side, her nails digging into my palm as she held on so tightly her knuckles went white. It might have hurt if my mind hadn't been firmly on the peak of the hill that lay just before us.

Our cart crested the hill and we hurtled down the track at a breathtaking speed. We both screamed with joy and a little fear as we plunged together, but she floated a little higher in her seat than I did. As we started to crest the next hill, her grip was a little lighter, her smile a little narrower, her eyes a little dimmer. We rushed down again and her seatbelt unattached. I held her in place until the train reached the bottom and we began our slow ascent to the top of the next hill. I reached to buckle her belt and she smacked my hand away. “It’s fine. Stop being so overbearing. Why don’t you trust me?” I rubbed the red mark on my hand, “I do trust you, but…”

The rollercoaster roared down the next hill, and she lifted out of her seat. I reached to stop her, but she smacked my hand away again. Her arms were crossed, her smile was gone, her eyes didn't sparkle anymore. She lifted out of the cart and flew off the rollercoaster back to the park.

When the rollercoaster rolled back into the station, I slowly picked myself up off the seat alone and walked back through the crowds, dodging the happy couples that now waited in the lines. Near the back of the line, I saw her waiting with a new riding partner, their fingers interlocked, clasping their palms together. Their hands fit together perfectly. I smiled at them, but they ignored me as I slowly walked away.

But, I feel a finger tapping my shoulder. I turn around to see a smiling face, eyes sparkling, teeth shining in a grin from ear-to-ear. It is the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. She takes my hand, her fingers slipping in between mine, clasping our palm lines together like the threads of fate weaved together into a tapestry of love - a blanket wrapping our bodies together in the warmth of the future they predicted. She looks at me confidently. “Let’s ride the rollercoaster together,” she says, leading me to the back of the line.