The Other Side

“I’m calling the police right now,” she informed Josh as well as anyone else who had been paying attention within the packed dining room of the restaurant while she started to dig through her purse for her phone.

Sitting at his booth he just shrugged his shoulders and added, “Yeah so?”

“What are you doing here—stalking me?”

“You’re nuts, I was here before you even came. I had dinner with a friend. She finished and had to go home. I am just here enjoying my piece of pie and coffee while catching the end of this show,” he motioned towards the television mounted on the wall behind her.

“You can’t be here if I’m here.”

“Based on what? You claimed you had some order from a court in Texas and I have never seen anything—is there anything or was that just more of your nonsense? Besides, in case you haven’t realized it we are in Pennsylvania.”

“My lawyer told me that if you tried to come after me in Texas you would be arrested at the border.”

He just shook his head with a little smile on his face, “I’ve actually have been to Texas on numerous occasions—my mom moved there and there were no such border guards.”

“I’m getting the manager,” she said as she immediately headed off towards the maitre d’ station near the entrance of the restaurant.

Josh just went back to fixing his coffee while watching the television. Shortly he could see a man in a white shirt, black tie, red face; a man who was far too heavy for a man his age approaching with a distinct limp betraying knees problems while Janet walked beside him explaining how she had been violated and demanded protection.

“What seems to be the problem here?” demanded the manager in his calmest tone while trying to breathe.

“I have no problems sir. I am just trying to enjoy my after dinner fare and she is trying to use you to make me pay for her mistakes,” responded Josh in a very calm tone making perfect eye contact with the younger man.

“What…? You stand over by the counter,” the manager directed Janet, “And, you stay seated where you are at. I’m going to do some investigation.”

Janet glared at Josh as if she hoped her eyes were lasers about to disintegrate him. Josh ignored her and continued to watch the television taking a forked piece of his pie followed by a sip of coffee. His focus on his show and food only shifted when the manager reappeared at the side of his booth and motioned for Janet to come over.

“Okay, I have no idea what is going on here or what has happened between you two and I don’t care,” he quickly raised his hand in objection when Janet tried to complain, “But after talking to my employees it seems that this man—motioning towards Josh—has done absolutely nothing and is just trying to enjoy our restaurant. Since you have entered and saw him you have created a disturbance.”

Janet looked shocked and mystified all at once. Completely baffled she started to attempt to complain but was immediately silenced again by the manager’s rising hand.

“If you cannot conduct yourself in a civil manner I will be forced to have you removed from our establishment. Is that understood?”

Janet just looked at him and said, “I have a right to defend myself…”

“You are more than welcomed to enjoy the services of this establishment. However, if you persist with this disruption then I will have no choice but to call the police to escort you from here. Is that understood?”

Janet looked lost. She didn’t know what to do. She started to leave.

“Hey!” called out Josh.

“Look sir, it is over,” immediately interrupted the manager.

“It’s okay. I just want to bury the hatchet and offer a peaceful resolution if I may.”

“Okay, but I’m keeping an eye on you two…”

“We’ll be fine. I promise,” responded Josh not taking his eyes off of Janet.

Janet stood still looking as if she was lost waiting for someone to make a move. Josh knew that the embarrassment of the ordeal and her being the one to be threatened with ejection had thrown her off quite a bit. She was disoriented like a deer in caught in a headlight.

“Janet, why don’t you join me? As a peace offering I’ll buy you dinner. No strings attached and you have all of these people as a witness.”

“I don’t know, I really should…”

“Should what,” smiled Josh in a disarming way, “Com’on, we’re in a very public place. We could just talk and catch up. What could happen?”

“Lincoln was in a very public place,” she said almost automatically.

“Fair enough, but I’m not John Wilkes Booth and as you may remember I don’t carry weapons and I love my freedom. Com’on, it’s just two old friends sitting to have a meal and catching up on things.”

Retreating from the center of not just attention, but of speculative embarrassment Janet quietly and quickly moved into the shelter of the booth opposite from Josh. She just wanted what was happening to end. She hadn’t even noticed that everyone had pretty much returned their attention to their own little worlds.

“That was so embarrassing,” she whispered in a pleading tone which quickly changed to harsh, “I can’t believe you did this to me. Well, of course I can. You’re a horrible person and abusive person, which is why I divorced you.”

He just smiled and turned his attention to the pie.

“What, what did I say that was so hilarious?”

“You should be looking at your menu. Remember they are watching,” he said with a little laugh.

“I will not be laughed at,” she whispered with force and started to go.

“Stop, stay, eat, I’m not laughing at you. I promise. Please, give this another chance. I’ll behave.”

She looked at him thoughtfully then looked about the place. He just watched her. Finally, after a few more seconds she let out a sigh and moved back to her original spot.

“So, what was that little laugh about?” she inquired as she searched about the menu for what she desired.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Of course I want to know, why else would I have asked?”

“Are you ready to order?” interrupted the waitress.

Janet looked at him and asked, “Are you still paying?”

“I said I would.”

“Then I’ll have the lobster and steak with a glass of mineral water,” she stated looking at him to see if there were any changes in his expression as she handed the waitress her menu.

“Thank you, I’ll put that in right away and will be back with your drink momentarily,” responded the young lady.

“You didn’t flinch when I ordered.”

“Why would I? If I didn’t think I could afford you I wouldn’t have made the offer. Believe me that was just a small drop in the bucket.”

He picked up his coffee and took a sip and checked his phone for any messages.

“You never answered me.”

“Why I laughed if I wasn’t laughing at you?” he asked while finishing up with his phone and put it away.

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“I laughed because you remind me of the ‘you’ I used to know. It was a nice feeling while at the same time a little unnerving.”

“The ‘me’ you used to know? What do you mean by that?” she demanded in a quiet but serious tone.

“Look, I told you I didn’t think you would handle it. I mean sure you are older but basically I have seen nothing but the exact same person who would always run away instead of dealing with something.”

“Oh really?” she challenged.

He sat for a few moments wondering if she was going to follow that up with anything.

Seeing she wasn’t, “Well, as soon as you saw me even though I made no threatening moves or anything; just minding my own business; I wasn’t even looking at you, you immediately tried to get me expelled from the restaurant with a protection from abuse order that has never existed. Just earlier you threatened to leave because you thought I was laughing at you. I would say yes, yes, that is you all the way. It was the reason you left me so long ago. Instead of dealing with anything you deflect or ignore or just run away from it. It explains why you are so much the ‘you’ I used to know.”

“What are you talking about?”

He shook his head a little looking her right in the eyes, “No, you’ll just get up and run away filling your head full of the excuses you need to justify the action. Just enjoy your meal and I’ll enjoy my dessert.”

“You think you know me so well.”

“Like the top of my desk in my home office,” he responded not looking up.

“Well, you don’t know me. You don’t know me at all. I’ve changed in the twenty-five years since I left you.”

He looked up at her with a tired expression, “Sure, sure if you say so. I’m just trying to be nice and extend an olive branch. I have never tried to control you or hurt you. If you desire to leave then do so. I will still pay for your dinner. If you say you have changed I’ll just leave it at that.”

“I have,” she insisted, “And you did abuse me and tried to control me and you know it.”

“How have I done any of that?”

“You were always putting me down.”

“How—or was it that I was the only one trying to help you by telling not what you wanted to hear but instead what you needed to hear?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Okay, I’ll try this only because I still care about you and unlike you I don’t believe in running away when things get uncomfortable.”

“You really have lost your mind. I’m going.”

“See, right there, you are always prepared to run away instead of dealing with something.”

“I have dealt with a lot in my life. I dealt with an abusive, control freak, I had a child which I practically raised myself, and I have built a life for myself.”

“Yes, I know, your father told me so much even though, and this may surprise you, I never asked. But did you just follow a program and dealt with that which you had to or did you truly challenge yourself? To be honest I think you just allowed the river to carry you off in its current.”

“Now you aren’t making any sense at all.”

“Again, instead of listening and facing something you just throw up a wall of defense which your mom taught you so well.”

“What was that about my mom?”

“Didn’t she drag you off to a counselor or social worker for sessions because you weren’t being a good little girl and listening to her?”

“Yes, but that was a long time ago.”

“What did the social worker do; did she agree with your mom?”

“No, she told her that I was an adult and she needed to cut the cord.”

“She wanted to have several more meetings with you and your mother, right?”

“Yeah,” answered Janet looking kind of sad and down at the table before her.

“But what happened?”

“Mom called the social worker a quack and got up and left.”

“Just leaving you in the office alone with the social worker and teaching you to run from things which you feel uncomfortable with which to deal as she had and not only did she refuse to be confronted with what made her uncomfortable but she also left you; just turned her back on you because you weren’t her puppet at that moment and that is what you did with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never abused you. I just tried to make and help you deal with things you refused to face but would have done you wonders.”

“What?”

“Instead of dealing with things you chose to run away. But you know that is okay. Sure, it hurt me but I was able to grow and learn and I ran into someone who was able to do the same and we faced the world and grew together. Sure, you faced and dealt with what you had to as in going through the motions of life but you really missed out on something great.”

“What—you?” she asked looking like she was about to laugh in his face.

He shook his head again, “Yeah, absolutely nothing about you has changed but why should it? You just run away.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. He knew that she was about to do her famous shutting down when she stops talking all together.

“You know, a lot of times I would become enraged with your deflection, your accusations, and your favorite just shutting down or running away. I would become enraged out of total frustration because I was truly trying to help you but in order to protect your vulnerable ego you would do all of these defensive moves which many you have displayed so far in the last half hour. Do you have any idea what it is like to be in love with and care about someone so much that you would do anything to help them and have that person be in competition with you?”

He looked at her and she just continued to sit in silence. He knew that she had shutdown and the conversation was over. She had an angry look. But as always he had to try.

“Thing is in life you are faced with a multitude of challenges. Some are incredibly difficult and there is a possibility you may never overcome it—such as me trying to get you to face something and deal with it—but all these challenges you face—even the ones you hate the most and want to avoid—are potential for you learn about yourself and others as well as the world around you and the reward is you grow; evolve into a better person.”

He looked at her and saw no response as he had expected.

“The great reward I am talking about is the ‘new you’ on the other side of the challenge.”

Still seeing no response from her he thought about quitting but decided against being like her.

“One of the most wonderful things about being in a relationship with someone; a true relationship is yes, it is great having someone with whom to share things; it is great knowing you have a friend in your corner; someone who is willing to face the challenges of the world with you, but what is truly great is that both of you have the opportunity to learn from one another and grow to be better people. This especially includes the ability of the couple to learn to live with one another.”

Being ready to just leave it at that but then she looked at him; she made a momentary eye contact and he decided to go on.

“Yes, if I was abusive then by all means you should have gone or if I was unable to grow or was a control freak. But I had learned so much from being with you and I was learning and evolving while you were still locked in the same old struggle with your mom and your well tuned avoidance methods which were holding you back. All I ever did was to attempt to tell you what you didn’t want to hear but needed to; not because I was a control freak or mean but because I cared deeply for you and would have done anything I could to help you face a challenge as best as you could and learn from it.

“No, I wasn’t the one who abused or tried to control you. I tried to be a friend; the best friend I could be. Thing is, you chose to leave me because you found a bunch of people who told you what you wanted to hear. You chose the easy way and let life control you; just floating down the river leaving the current to decide your fate. You clung to the true control freak in your life, your mom, because it was just easier. You didn’t have to challenge yourself. You just caved.

“I may not be rich in material things but I am very wealthy in experiences and life and I wouldn’t trade any of it for any amount of gold. I’ve done things, seen things, and learned things most people couldn’t even imagine. I was able to do that because I was able to meet someone who was able to face and challenge themselves with me. In a way, the best thing you ever could have done for me was to leave because I would have never given up on you and would have spent all of this time doing my best to get you to the other side of all those challenges from which you ran.

“By the way, that whole embarrassment in the restaurant had far more to do with your mom teaching you to be concerned about what others thought of you and catering to public opinion. I tried my best to free you from those shackles but I see they are as tight as ever.”

He sat back and looked back at her. She was still looking at him as if dumbfounded. He took his last bite of pie and finished his coffee. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. Taking a deep breath he got up and walked over to the counter for a few moments. She just stared over at the spot where he had sat.

“Here is a gift card which should cover the cost of your meal and dessert should you desire, and a generous tip,” he said handing her the card.

She looked up at him and began to mouth something but there was no sound.

“You know you were incredibly smart and gifted and probably still are. It would have been amazing to meet the person who would have been on the other side of those challenges instead of the ‘you’ I’ve seen today. I hope you have the best.”

He turned and left. She just sat and looked at the card.