The Oath

I feel the nerves bubble in my chest along with the anguish and regret. I shouldn’t be here with these overly hopeful people lined up for their chance at winning a coveted spot in the Oath Competition. Everyone knows it’s a gamble of life and death if your name is picked… because the vetting process for the Oath includes a lethal cocktail that kills 99% of those who take it. It doesn’t change the fact that thousands of people happily put their name into the mix, hoping their time has come and that they will the ‘lottery’ that can change their lives. I always thought that this was just the easy way for the New Monarchy to remove large sections of the population… a weeding out process, if you will.

I didn’t choose this… but my name was called, and you aren’t allowed to say no when they choose you.

The woman I’m assigned to is calm enough, but she seems sad as she moves through a prepared script. “So, as you know, if you make it through this stage of the process, you will be entered into the…” she began in a polite but even tone.

I shake my head at her, staring up at the ceiling, “Just stop.” I say quietly and her eyes widen a little in confusion. Obviously, she wasn’t used to being stopped in the middle of her pitch. I sigh softly, forcing a miserable little smile, “We both know I’m not making it. We both know that in five minutes you’re going to be carting my body out of here…” a couple of tears found their way past my lashes. She looks horrified and truly concerned. I pat her hand as if she is the one that needs comforting and I smile, “Hey… it’s fine.”

She hesitates, staring down at the needle and back to me, “If you came here as a suicide…” she began slowly, a roughness to her tone.

I laughed darkly and shook my head, “Not even a little bit. I’m here because a man thought it would be romantic to have us both die within days of each other. I disagree, but too late now.” I shrug, trying to make light of the whole thing.

She hesitates again, looking up at the little camera in the corner of the room. Her hands shake a little and she whispers, “I want to let you just leave… but I’ll get in trouble.” Her eyes are filled with intense anguish and apology.

My own eyes fill with grateful tears at the obvious compassion in her. I try to shrug it away again, but I look away to hide my agony, “If this is how I die, I guess it’ll be quick.” I force out with a sad chuckle. She nods, still not sure what to do. I sigh, “Hey, it’s fine. Just go ahead.”

I notice tears in her eyes too, but she nods once, “Ok, so close your eyes and think about the best memory in your life. Go to the place that brings you joy and peace.”

The heat is brutal on my skin as I wander out on the unfamiliar streets. I feel as if something was lost today, but why?

“Kory?” a voice calls from across the path. I look up and there he is… smiling with joy and hope and desire. I’ve waited for someone to look at me with that gaze my entire life, and here he is… eyes light like the clearest blue day, and a smile that could fuel my heart forever. He is holding me already, and I can’t question how. Does it matter? I ask myself and shake my head as he presses his lips to mine. We are in the most public place, and yet we are acting as if there isn’t a soul around… and then I remember it’s because we are alone.

This is just a dream… but aren’t all love stories just dreams, really? As soon as they enter reality, they just aren’t quite as shiny or beautiful. Real life is crowded and cruel. I’d rather dream of Landen than to have him again… in our dreams he could still be prince-like, still be whole and tangible. If I focused on real life, I’d remember too painfully that Landen died…

It didn’t matter I suppose… he made the choice, like so many others do. To attempt the Oath, you choose to let everything else in your life go in hopes that your chance will be different than the thousands before you. Little was known about the previous Oath, except that those who participated were off living the good life in some tropical country or something. They had to live very secret lives… yet the fame of their accomplishments lived on. I was different I guess, because I never cared much about any of it, never asked what happened, and never cared what they did after.

Landon wasn’t different though… and consequently he died just as quickly as the rest. The least he could’ve done was not put my name in too… but again, dreams are better. I liked pretending he wasn’t as cruel the whole time as he was in those last moments. We’d known each other only a few months, but he had said a love like ours should last forever… apparently, he had hoped it would go either in this world or the next since no one lives through the application process.

When I had laid my head on the futuristic operating chair—something between a comfortable dentist chair and an operating table—I didn’t expect to wake up after it. She’d told me to think of something nice… So I thought about my dreams from before Landon and I started dating… when he was my ideal man… before he opened his mouth and wrote down my death sentence on a thin piece of paper.

“Kory?” the voice calls again through the fog. I feel as if I’ve only had my eyes closed a few minutes, but I open my eyes to see the woman with the syringe in her hand. Her eyes are wide, and she looks as if she’s seen a ghost. She’s looking me over in total shock.

“Yes?” I ask her with slight irritation. If you’re going to kill me, could you just get it over with? “Aren’t you going to start?” I ask tiredly, wiping my eyes.

She looks at the syringe and back to me in pure horror. I look at the sharp needle and notice that its attached bottle is empty. I look down at my arm to a red opening and back to her slowly, my heart pounding furiously. Everything feels as if it is moving in slow motion, because this doesn’t make sense. Is this still part of the dream? Am I just moving on to the next transition from life to death? Because I can’t be alive… when that poison enters your body, you die. It’s instant. I had never heard of anyone living through it… except…

I look into her fearful eyes, and she speaks in a shaking voice, handing me an oddly iridescent purplish heart-shaped locket, “I think you just entered the next stage of the Oath…” she said in complete awe.

I stared back at her in horror, staring at the necklace in her hand with utter confusion… No. My mind whispered in agony, and I closed my eyes.