The Nightmare

Shin Chen’s eyes roamed the battlefield. Or what had been the battlefield, but was now an open-air grave. Bodies from both armies littered the muddy ground. The setting sun reflected off the few pieces of armour that weren't covered in mud or blood.

Shin Chen’s fellow soldiers roamed the field, searching the bodies –for friends or for loot– and chasing away the crows, ravens, and coyotes that expected a feast tonight.

Shin Chen took one step forward, then another. He hadn’t seen Ardreth since before the battle. He didn’t want to search the bodies. He didn’t want to see the faces of the dead. But he had to know.

The tenth body he turned over was Ardreth. His friend's eyes were open, his face frozen in an expression of pain.

Even having known this was what he would find, Shin Chen staggered, feeling as though he'd been punched in the stomach. He fell to his knees in the mud, tears threatening to fall.

Ardreth's head turned sharply toward Shin Chen. Shin Chen fell backward with a cry, his hands barely catching himself from landing on his back in the mud.

"Why didn’t you save me?" Ardreth's mouth didn’t move, but his distorted voice echoed in Shin Chen’s mind. "You could have saved me. Where were you?"

"No." Shin Chen shook his head. He covered his ears with his hands, but he couldn’t block out Ardreth's voice.

"Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you save me?"

"No, stop!"

Ardreth sat up, the movement unnatural as his arms remained at his sides, his head still turned toward Shin Chen. "You could have saved me. Where were you? Where were you?"

"Stop!" Shin Chen moved his hands behind his head, pressing both arms against the sides of his head as if to shield it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Ardreth, I'm sorry."

"Shin Chen!"

That wasn't Ardreth's voice. Shin Chen raised his head.

Ardreth reached one hand toward Shin Chen, blood dripping from his fingers. Blood welled in his eyes like tears and trickled down his muddy cheeks. "Why didn’t you save me?"

Shin Chen let out a strangled sob. "I'm sorry, Ardreth, I'm so sorry."

"Shin Chen!" Again the voice that wasn't Ardreth's.

Shin Chen shook his head between his arms. "Stop it, please. I'm sorry!"

Ardreth put his bloody hand on Shin Chen’s shoulder and shook him. "Why didn’t you save me?"

"Shin Chen, wake up!"

Ardreth shook him again. "Wake up!"

Shin Chen’s eyes flew open. He was lying in his bed in the inn. Aramil stood over him, his hand on Shin Chen’s shoulder. Vayr stood behind Aramil, his arms crossed over his chest. A lit candle flickered on the nightstand beside Shin Chen’s bed.

"What–"

"You were talking in your sleep," Aramil said. "It… sounded like you were having a nightmare."

Shin Chen nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah. Thanks."

Aramil squeezed his shoulder before stepping back.

Shin Chen sat up and rubbed one hand over his face. "What time is it?"

Vayr glanced at the window. "Shortly before dawn."

“Thanks.” Shin Chen sighed. He likely wouldn’t sleep more tonight. But he could at least think about his real memories, not the ones the nightmares plagued him with. The way Ardreth had lain so silent, so still. The way Shin Chen had buried him in a mass grave with the rest of the dead soldiers, since their officers wouldn’t give them enough time to bury the men individually. The way Ardreth’s wife had wept when Shin Chen was finally able to bring her news of Ardreth’s death.

None of them pleasant memories. All of them painful. But still better than the nightmares.

~End~