The Night it Rained Nanites

Jane said, “Dana, when are you going to try some of this free face cream? It really works great.”

I said, “I don’t have time for that fad, beside my face has character.”

Jane said, “But I look so young now I have my youthful look back.”

I said, “And who would trust a gumshoe that looked twenty?”

It was sunset on September 7, 2025. After the free lotion giveaway had gone on for about two months. I was at my favorite dive bar in Tucson, the Lettuce Liquor. Behind the bar, they have the Maids to Liquor. Where I sat on the patio, you could just see through the heavy mist of the mister one of those yellow signs with the selectable letters it said, “Don’t want to Liquor, Lettuce Liquor!“

I heard the commotion on the street first. After my sixth rum and coke, I tended to just sit there and watch. It was a haze that fell from the sky. The barmaid Fran turned glassy-eyed and would not answer me. The other young-faced customers got up and left.

I kept sipping my rum and coke and watched as the haze came down to the ground. Everything live it touched went somewhere. The smoke could not penetrant the mist of the mister. I sat there drunk and lucky by the time I realize what was happening. It was over. The nanites had moved to locations to prepare for their task.

Fran got on the phone and said, “I’ve got one.”

“Hey Fran,” I said, “give me a bottle of dark rum.”

Fran said, “We do not need intoxicants, take all you want. They are coming for you.”

I took the royal stuff, the dark rum, and the Jack and left before they got there. I walked down the center of the street. There was no traffic, no people, no dogs, no rats, no bugs, nothing. Then out of nowhere, there was a cop in a patrol car.

“Hey buddy, what are you doing,” the young-looking cop said.

“I’m drinking this here emergency juice,” I said.

“Why don’t you try some face cream,” the cop said.

I said, “You know, I think something is up with you young face people and that face cream.”

I shook my finger at the cop as he pulled up.

He said into his mike when he pressed the button, “I have the one that was at Lettuce Liquor.”

He looked at me and said, “You need to come with me to the station for safety.”

I said, “Before I can talk to you, you need to take two big drinks from each of the purifiers according to emergency procedure 4256 point 3.”

The cop said, “I never heard of that before. Get in the car, and we can discuss it at the station with the other police officers.”

“That’s what I thought. You’re one of them. You did not get the emergency procedure,” I said, “I’m not going anywhere with you. You’ll have to shoot me.”

I started walking down the road. He didn’t know what to do. They did not want to kill someone. They wanted everybody for a slave.

The cop said I am not one of them. I got emergency procedure 4256 point 3. I’ll do the drinks of purifiers if you get in the car.”

“Okay, that two big drinks of the dark,” I said, “One … and two...”

The cop finished the rum and said, “Oh man, … are you sure about this?”

“We were told that they would not do this. Here is the royal,” I said, “One … Two….”

“Oh, my. I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do this,” the cop said.

“That’s what I thought you are one of them,” I said.

The cop said, “No, I am not. Give me that last bottle.”

He slurred his words a little. He took two big swigs of the jack.

The cop didn’t say anything but looked a little sick.

I started to walk down the road. The cop pulled up next to me again after a minute. The tires chirped when he stopped this time.

”You’re supposed to get in, and I supposed to take you to the station,” the cop said. This time when he talked, he slurred his speech.

I said, ”I don’t want to go to the station. I want to go to the liquor store.”

I started to turn away.

The cop said, “If I take you to the liquor store will you come with me?”

The radio voice said, “Sam, you have the only one in the area. Bring that one in alive, and we have a perfect record. We get the Transmega award. Do what you have to.”

“How do I know you will take me to the liquor store,” I said.

The cop said, “Because I say I will.” He was still slurring his speech.

I said, “Okay, only if I can ride shotgun.”

“What liquor store do you want to go to,” the cop said?

“That liquor superstore, More than Wine,” I said.

The cop had trouble staying in the lane, but there was no one on the road. I made him take a drink every time he hit the curb. He had three drinks. We parked in the fire lane. Both of us got out and walked in. No one was in the store. I got a cart and went to the main desk. After a short look, I found the high-priced cabinet keys.

There was a 5, 000-dollar bottle of scotch, 500-dollar bottle of tequila, 700-dollar bottle of vodka, a 1000-dollar magnum of Champagne. I got some glasses from the shelf and some ice and poured two drinks of scotch. Sam and I clanked glasses.

I said, “Cheers.”

It was so velvety smooth. The oak counterpoints were perfection. There were vanilla overtones and, in the stomach, just warmth. It was heaven.

I looked up at the cop and said, “You have to sing the song or your one of them. Drink!”

“We don’t sing,” the Cop said.

“I knew you were one of them, Drink!” I said. I stood up, put my hand over my heart, and sang, “Oh, say can you see..”

I looked at the cop and said, “Drink, is it, Sam,” I poured more scotch. “Drink, everybody knows this one. Come on. Put your hand over your heart. By the dawn’s early light. Drink.”

I got Sam to stand up and put his hand over his heart and drink with his other hand.

We both sang, “What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming drink.” I was just putting the glass to my lips but was not drinking.

We both sang, “Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight. Drink” Sam was wobbling a bit.

We both sang, “O'er the ramparts we watch'd were so gallantly streaming? Drink.” Sam was having a hard time standing.

We both sang, “And the rocket's red glare, the bomb bursting in air, drink.” Sam was having trouble hitting the beats on time, and he did not hit the notes for rocket’s red glare.

We both sang, “Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there, drink.” Sam could hardly stand. None of the words that he sang were in tune or in time with me.

We both sang, “O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave. Drink” Sam barely stood.

And we both ended “O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?” Sam fell forward, and he did not move.

I took his keys and several interesting bottles of booze. Moved everything into the cop car. I drove around to see what I could see. After an hour, I heard a semi. I tracked it down and followed it to a huge complex. The truck was full of 2-liter bottles. There was a pit. It had more 2-liter bottles than I had ever seen. A little further down a pit with aluminum cans and a pit of glass bottles. There were lines of bottles and cans going into a building. The end of the building was open, and the smoke-like haze of the nanites were floating into the complex. Then they were getting whatever was being manufactured here and buzzing off. It sounded like insects, millions of vicious insects. Each of the nanites formed a micro block. Each of the micro blocks interlocked and formed machines whose only function was to make trillions of nanites.

I opened the trunk and got out a couple of flares. I fired them up and threw them into the 2-liter bottles. They started to burn. Soon the fire was a black sooty fire, and most of the 2-liter bottles were burning. It spread to the area where the haze-like nanites soon stopped the buzzing entry into the micro blocks. The nanite machines were fowled and had to stop making nanites. This zone fell behind. No one got a reward.