The Monkey and the Fish

Animals in the wild simply live their life from their instincts that have been developed as adaptations to their environment. People are a product of their environment and experience society, culture, and all that. As tempting or easy as it may be to try to interpret everyone in our own image, we should recall that there is an important upshot to this monkey-and-fish fable: projecting our values and needs onto others without much real attempt to understand what they need, and in the context of which they need it can do damage, often well beyond our reckoning.

Nice In Theory: Sunshine and Roses, It is Not

Monkey and River Once upon a time, a monkey lived in a tree by a river. One day, as it was flowing, he saw a fish swimming with it. The monkey, observing the first flapping in the water, concluded the fish was in distress, and benevolently went to seize it and lift it out. Monkeys are not water­ animals, and the idea of the fish darting here and there so blithely was a thing absolutely beyond him, and so it must be fighting for life. Fearing the monkey felt he would not be able to forgive himself if he didn't try to help the fish.

Best motivated, the monkey jumped from the tree, down into the river, and grabbed the fish from the water. He took it in his hands tenderly, sure that he had saved the poor little creature. But when he put the fish on the riverbank, the fish flip-flopped, gasped for air, and died. The Monkey, surprised, could not imagine the meaning of this. He had tried to offer, and had killed it instead.

It's a cautionary tale of how we fuck ourselves when we overlay what we need from others onto what we want, based on what's happening to us at the time. The monkey, naturally, as a land monkey, interpreted the fish's activities in terms of his environment for him, the fish was a ''flaneur'' or boulevardier, and he couldn't see why it dashed about. Journal of General Virology 77(1011–1017 (1996), even the fish don't get out.4 If fish had knees…It's a common fallacy, of course, to argue that because we understand our own environments and the ways that things are in that environment, we can understand that same behavior in other environments. Great& When We Were Young. He was in error, albeit an error borne out of good intentions, and it'd cost a life.

Perspectives and Contexts: Why We Miscommunicate

The reason the Monkey miscalculates in the story is that he can't fathom that there are different needs for different entities. His sight was adapted to land and relied on his avoiding water and remaining above the solid surfaces. He was in great fear to be being in the water. But the fish, submerged in water, had an unfair advantage in their natural element. It evolved under the water challenges of its habitat.

And this is not just the case in these examples, but also in real life. People want to do problems, or want to do support, based on what/that problem or support would be like/they would be like." But well-meaning interventions only go so far and risk being alarming if they ignore anyone else's needs and the reality of what is. The fish was in the water the monkey could not save the fish unless there was water for the fish.

The lesson is that it is a good idea to evaluateeven when you think you are right. It's a cautionary tale: About what can happen when we don't know ordon't listen about the unique needs, context, or environment of the people we think we can serve.

The Dangers Of Angel-Making Reality Serve Our Own5 reality to another.

A bigger point to take from the monkey's move, of course, is that we all humans are wired to cast our views MPB in producing a message and experience on other people. And the fish in his tree that was very concerned about the monkey in danger assumed the fish… and that other thing that we assume has value because we ascribe value to it. It is a risky trend because it leads us to make decisions without a full understanding of what it’s like to exist as others do.

This kind of thing is happening all the time in human relationships. They can be the good-hearted friend who wants to help you with advice gleaned from their own life, or they can be the professional who genuinely believes ''the way I do things is the way they should be done'', but projecting our own reality on everyone else can be an issue. What's good for one person is not good for the next, and the thing that cures one will kill another if it is applied without understanding.

In addition, seeing others through the filter of our own reality diminishes empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of another. However, if we see others only through the lens of ourselves, we may lose access to the deepest part of who we are. Nor were the fish's sneezes those of the monkey, and in doing what came naturally to it, Poseesees the monkey had not catered for those.

The work of Deep Knowing and Empathy

The tale implores us to see things as they do. Real empathy means take ourselves out of our own experience and imagining what other people need and want and are struggling with. From this, we can provide better support and we don't need to make harmful assumptions.

But empathy is more than that: more than feeling bad that someone feels bad, or wanting to help in the way that we think is best. It asks you to listen, to observe and to try, andP to try to comprehend another person's reality. It requires recognising that other people might have different strengths, weaknesses, challenges and ways of moving through theworld. We can make a helpful contributionif only we accept that these differences are real.

It also is a testimony that every flesh and blood, man or beast, possesses life differently. One creature's fight is another's sustenance. The fish's need for water was not his pain but his existence, as was the monkey's for land. Empathy To me, understanding what other people need is key to being kind and effective.

In Helping, Sensitivity Is Required

The story of the monkey and the fish also reminds us to be tactful in our assistance. The monkey really wants to assist the fish, but he forgot about the fish's ecology. Sensitivity, as defined by the party line, is knowing that help needs to be suitable to the details of a circumstance, and the shape of the person (or creature) who needs help.

Over the journey of our lives, we meet people who need help, some are friends, others co-workers, while others are family and strangers. Instead of rushing in with solutions based on our own experiences, it's vital we take that pause, ask questions, listen well, and try to work out what that person really needs.'' Only this way we can help, help that works, help that does not erase their reality''.