The Mind Of A Child

(A retelling of Alice In Wonderland which is now mine!)

The Mind Of A Child

Part I

*Amanda*

We need a good day. It’s not every day that this sweet little girl turns nine, you know. Today needs to be perfect. No bickering, yelling or carrying on allowed. My name is Amanda. I am out at the mall with my mom. She always makes sure every birthday is fun and full of adventure. Technically my birthday isn’t until tomorrow. We’re getting stuff together early. My dad is taking the day off to spend it with me. We just finished our fudge sundaes. Our seat overlooks the main floor of the mall atop a balcony where the food court is. I glance over at the cassette and VHS store next to us. I have my heart and hopes set so much on the new Thriller album. “We don’t have time today, Amanda.” My mother chimes in.

We’re heading home now. My dad should already be off work. We walk into a house that you can clearly see the living room in its full view. Everyone gushes about how retro and fascinating the style is, but I swear my parents are stuck in the 60s. I mean, it’s 1989 for pity’s sake. My dad is sitting on the left side of the couch which looks like it’s made from tweed. Yuck. So uncomfortable. This couch and my dad appear as if they both have seen better days.

“Hi, honey.” My mom calls to my dad. “How was work?”

“Same old, same old.” My dad exclaims, burying himself in his newspaper. “How was your day, pumpkin.” He addresses me.

“Good. We had hot fudge sundaes.” I exclaim.

“Golly, I am so sorry I missed it.” I could feel my mom roll her eyes at his statement. “By the way, I can’t get tomorrow off for your birthday tomorrow, sweetie. My duties are piling up at work. I’ve got documents to the ceiling.”

My mom has a look of utter disgust playing upon her experienced face. “Get washed up for dinner, honey.” My mom instructs me. I hurry up the stairs and just before I get to my bedroom door, I hear the yelling match begin.

“Missing your daughter’s birthday again this year, I see. Who is she, Peter? I hope she’s worth it! On your own daughter's birthday, you disgusting pig. Get your priorities straight, you pathetic excuse for a man!”

I sigh and close my bedroom door behind me. My bedroom? Every little girl’s dream. I have such the imagination. My only sanctuary away from this whole entire mess. What’s his name again? Dirk? Yes, that’s right. That’s it! My imaginary friend. My only friend. I need him now more than ever.

“They’re at it again, I see.” Dirk scoffs, lying on my bed. Both pillows propping him up. His body is long with dark hair and electric blue eyes.

“Of course.” I tell him, flopping down solemnly on my bed, next to him. I ease back, frustrated and used to the usual nights of bickering and lies.

“How can I help?” Dirk smiles.

“Can you keep my parents from arguing?”

“Oh, sweetie, I wish I could.” Dirk frowns. “Even I can’t do that.”

I sigh even deeper, trying to hold back tears.

“Amanda, let’s talk to the queen. She’ll know what to do.” Dirk suggests.

“Okay.”

Dirk hops off my bed. I take a deep breath and join Dirk. Dirk throws his backpack on, gets in a squat position, closes his eyes and his brown, bronze and copper colored scooter appears ready for us to phase through my bedroom window and into the night sky. “We’re off to Curiosity City!” Dirk announces with an added goofy chuckle.

We arrive at an elaborate train station made of metal, copper and gold. I can hear “We Built This City” by Starship playing over the loudspeakers. Dirk is humming it to himself. Even though the trains arrive at the station on their tracks, they fly to all of their destinations effortlessly. They’re the epitome of convenience. No paths or roads. Just simply think about where you need to go and that’s where you’ll arrive. Telepathy travel. That’s how Dirk’s scooter appeared. All he had to do was think about it. You don’t always need to use the telepathy travel option, of course.

We enter a particular train with Rick as the driver. We approach Rick. There’s a friendly smile behind his hip new shades. “Hi, Rick.” We greet him.

“Amanda and Dirk. It’s been such a long time.”

“Too long.” Dirk agrees.

“Yes, well.” I begin. “I was hoping things would get better.”

“Well, you’re always welcome here anytime. I hope you know that.” Rick assures me. “Where to?”

“We need to see the queen.” Dirk announces.

“I’m on it.” Dirk says, determined. The train takes off with a leap and a bound into the night sky of Curiosity City.

I notice the twinkle in Dirk’s eye as he proclaims his unfathomable desire to see the queen. He has always had a crush on the queen. And I? Well, I have always had a crush on Dirk. I know he’s much older than me. I am attracted to his goofy, playful personality and his child-like passion for everything.

He looks at me with unmistaken enthusiasm, gripping my hand. We laugh and cheer as we lift higher into the sky. Queen Wanda, here we come!

We arrive at the queen’s castle. Her and her assistant, Rumbold are sitting at the throne.

“Queen Wanda, I presume.” Dirk bows, deeply.

“Oh, shut up, Dork.” The queen snaps at him. “Amanda, dear. How was your trip?” Her facial expression quickly switching to warmth and kindness.

“Fine. Rick drove us.” I smile at her.

“Aw, sweet Rick.” The queen’s smile disappears into an expression of fear and worry. “We’ve a problem. Chad Gregory is up to his dirty tricks again.”

“God, no!” Dirk shouts, beginning to shake with the mere thought of Chad Gregory now back in power. I hold onto his hand. I am shaking like a leaf, myself. I thought he was supposed to be in prison.

“Go ahead and head up to your room. I laid it all out in detail in the letter on the nightstand. Come back down for breakfast in the morning and we’ll discuss it.”

As we enter the Victorian-style bedroom, I notice a note on the bedside table. That must be from the queen. I read only part of it and gasp. Dirk snatches it from my hands. “Amanda, oh no.” It basically reads that we are all in danger. Chad Gregory got released from prison for good behavior, supposedly. I would like to think he has learned from his jail time, but I doubt it. I know his ways all too well.. In search of the perfect brain to run his machine that will mean the ruin of Curiosity City and its inhabitants. And apparently, he has his sights set on me. Perfect.

“Dirk, what are we going to do?”

“I don’t know. But we must think of something quickly. Time is against us.” We both hug. I weep in his shoulder. We finally climb into bed and hope that sleep finds us.

I toss and turn all night. Finally, at 3:05 AM, I gingerly crawl out of bed as to not rouse Dirk from his slumber. I walk over to the desk and take the notebook and pencil from it. The queen knows me so well. She knew to leave this here for me. I begin writing. I look back to make sure Dirk is asleep.

There’s just him

He’s all my life has ever been about

I know he can’t share my feelings right now

Maybe someday it’ll all come to pass

I love no other

There’s no one like him on earth

He’s wonderful

All I see is him

Dirk groans and slowly awakens. “Amanda?” He manages to squeak out. I close the notebook and smile at him.

“Morning.” I respond, slipping the notebook into my backpack.

“What time is it?” Dirk asks, groggily.

“Six o’clock.” Dirk smile-moans, rolling over on his back. “I had a dream about the queen last night. She declared her feelings for me are mutual. It is the moment I have longed for.” I just scoff and roll my eyes. I always dream about him. I might as well be holding a teddy bear and licking a lollipop at this moment in time. I forgot my birthday is today. Too much going on to care.

Dirk and I enter the elevator to the queen’s throne room. Rumbold is standing there expressionless. “The queen is expecting you.” He proclaims, still expressionless.

“Don’t you ever smile, Rumbold?” Dirk asks.

“No, sir.”

I snigger, covering my mouth. “Why?” Dirk interferes.

“I take my job very seriously, Sir. I am the queen’s righthand man.”

“You need a night out in the worst way, Rummy.” Dirk instructs causing me to laugh out loud.

Rumbold peers Dirk with disgust. “The queen is right.”

Dirk smiles, hopefully. “Really? About what?”

Rumbold smirks. “You are a dork.”

Dirk turns beet red, defeated and frowns. I laugh even harder and Dirk folds his arms, presses his shoulders back, attempting to lift his spirits.

“You are certainly adorkable, Dirk.” I tell him, continuing to laugh.

Dirk chuckles, trying not to laugh. He looks at me, smiling. Then we’re both laughing.

Rumbold is still unamused. “I refuse to be a part of this childish behavior.” He says, looking away from the both of us.

“Well, duh.” Dirk replies sarcastically. I laugh even harder. My ribs start aching.

“Stop it, both of you.” Rumbold depends.

“Fine.” Dirk says. I straighten up and hold back my laughter. “He’s such a buzz kill.” Dirk states under his breath. I burst out in laughter again.

“I heard that!” Rumbold shouts, angrily. “We’re here. Get off!”

We bound off the elevator, still laughing.

We arrive in the queen’s throne room. The room is decked out in balloons and garlands with a least 50 presents littering the floor. I large banner reads, “Happy 9th Birthday, Amanda!” I am in awe. The queen is amazing. I can’t believe all this.

“Happy Birthday, Amanda!” The queen shouts. It echoes throughout the room so loudly that it reverberates off the wall and lingers for a few moments.

Dirk grips, my shoulders with excitement. “I helped.” He smiles, enthusiastically kissing me on the cheek.

“Don’t be so modest. You did it all.” The queen beams. “He created it all from the mind.”

“Of a child.” Rumbold chimes in. Dirk folds his arms with a playful accusatory stare. I chuckle at his smirky expression. The queen chuckles as well.

“By the way, my queen.” Dirk straightens up. “I want to thank you immensely for the dream I had this morning.”

“That had nothing to do with me.” The queen replies. “You wanted that dream, Dirk.”

“Yes, of course.” Dirk smiles goofily. “Might I bestow my thanks with a sweet serenade?”

“Oh, good gravy.” Rumbold scoffs from his place next to Queen Wanda.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s neces-”

“Okay. Here it goes.” Dirk interrupts her, clearing his throat. Rumbold clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “I have been practicing this song all week.” Dirk smiles, confidently. The queen looks extremely uncomfortable.

Dirk sings his best acapella version of “Love Of A Lifetime” by Firehouse. Dirk finishes the song holding the last note longer than it needs to be. I truly wish he was singing it to me. He has a surprisingly polished voice. Add yet another thing to the list that I find wonderful about him. Rumbold had been hanging his head in his hands the whole time. Queen Wanda doesn’t seem quite as impressed with Dirk’s performance as I did. You can cut the tension with a knife.

“Are you trying to make wretch!?!?” She shouts at him. “Gawd, enough of this nonsense. You dork!” Rumbold is smiling proudly. “I am sorry, Dork, but there will never be anything between you and me. The age difference alone is revolting.” The queen catches herself, seeing the look on my face. I start crying in a way I can’t control it. “Amanda. I am sorry, sweetie.” Forgetting herself, causing Dirk to look at me, confused and unsure of what is going on.

“Amanda, what’s she talking about?” My lips pout out some tears that I try so hard to hold back. “Amanda? Darling, is everything okay?” Dirk grabs onto my shoulder with fear in his eyes knowing I am hurt in some way. He obviously feels responsible. I can tell he’s worried he’s hurt me but doesn't understand how. I tear myself from Dirk’s grip and storm out of the room. “What did I do?” I hear Dirk’s muffled voice ask as I burst into the elevator. I make it in time; even before Rumbold can catch me. The elevator roars upward.

“Amanda, we’re all sorry!” Rumbold shouts towards the rapidly rising elevator.

I finally burst into the room and fall onto the bed. I am whaling in harsh, painful tears. This really hurts. I know the queen didn’t mean it the way she said it. I didn’t expect I’d react in this type of way. A song enters my mind. “Lost In Your Eyes” by Debbie Gibson. It’s a song I know word for word too, Dork. You aren’t the only one that knows how to sing. Now, I see things differently. The heart and passion he put into practicing that song for her. If only I was closer to his age, I know things would be different between him and me.

I finish the song. I sigh and wish I had thought things out before I reacted the way I did.

“Amanda?” I look up suddenly and gasp.

“Dirk!” How long has he been standing there. You would think he’s the last person I would want to see. But I am very relieved it’s him. I still love being close to him, regardless of the current situation.

“I am not sure what happened back there, but I am so sorry.” Dirk begins. He seems to be very sad about the whole thing. “I would never intentionally hurt you. I hope you know that, Amanda.”

“I do.” I try to reassure him. Damn, I love him so much.

Dirk takes my hand in his. My heart soars. “Let’s head back. Hmm?” He suggests. We head to the elevator, hand-in-hand. Rumbold is standing there in the elevator, smiling. It looks odd and forced. “Well, ya gotta give the queen an A for effort.” Dirk shrugs. The elevator glides down with ease. Nobody says a word the rest of the ride.

We have a great meal. The tone seems slightly different with essence of the events from earlier still linger in the air. We eat, chat, and laugh until finally... “My queen? What would your brilliant mind suggest we do about Chad Gregory?” Dirk finally states.

The queen swallows the bite she is working on. “Well. We’re all in danger with Chad Gregory back in business again.” The queen takes a long pause and sighs. “The only solution is that Amanda will have to go back to her world.”

“No!” Dirk shouts in protest. “No! I won’t have it! We can defeat Chad Gregory. We’ve got all the skills.”

“You are not ready. You can barely defeat Chad’s minions. You wouldn’t stand a chance against him. He’s evil. Your powers are too weak right now.” The queen protests, trying to hold back tears. “I don’t want Amanda to go either. She has some growing to do first. We all do.”

Rumbold gives Dirk an accusing look. Dirk just ignores him.

“I am very strong. I can prove it.” Dirk begs.

“Fighting Chad Gregory takes mature instincts and skills. You need to house a deep passion like no other.”

“We have passion!” Dirk and I shout in unison.

“It’s not enough. It’s not deep enough nor the right kind of passion to sustain Chad.” The queen looks intensely at both of us. “You need to intimidate him.”

“I AM intimidating.” Dirk insists, loudly in Queen Wanda’s direction. I have never seen Dirk this determined to prove himself as a true warrior since I arrived in Curiosity City. He closes his eyes for a moment then opens them only to have a vacuum cleaner in his hands. Dirk looks a bit embarrassed.

“Oh, yes. Let’s suck him to death! That’ll work brilliantly. Very intimidating. Mmm hmm. Not!” The queen tells Dirk with epic sarcasm.

Dirk turns red, setting the vacuum down on the floor. Rumbold stands up from his seat. He walks behind Dirk removing the vacuum. “Things like this just get in the way.” He takes it out of the room and the arrives about five minutes later.

I sigh. “Let’s just try to enjoy the rest of the night. We have all night together.” I remind everyone. Dirk smiles at me, intently. He takes my hand, squeezing it and holding back tears.

Queen Wanda sighs trying to finish her dinner. She can’t finish another bite. “I have a song!” The queen sits up, regally in her chair. She begins singing “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. It definitely lifts our spirits and keeps our hopes high. The queen has always been able to do that.

Dirk and I head back our room late that night about fifteen minutes before midnight. “Dirk? I have a question.”

“Anything.” He grins, putting a protective arm around my shoulders.

“How would you woo your love?” I ask, boldly.

Dirk chuckles softly. “Well. I would tell her that she looks very pretty tonight. I would remind her that she means everything to me. That I never want her to leave me alone. And that I know she wouldn’t. Because I’d know deep down that we’d always be together.” Dirk sighs softly as if he’s lost in a fantasy. It is fun to watch him. His appear to be caught in an epic trance. He seems to awaken, suddenly. “Do you think the queen would go for that?”

“Oh, yes.” I shake myself back. “I know I would if it was me and it was someone I truly loved and desired.” I inhale deeply, looking at my feet.

“I do know another song.”

“Oh? Really?” I smile at him. I guess curiosity kills the cat in this sense.

“Yes. Ever heard of the song “Angel Eyes” by The Jeff Healey Band?”

“Um, no. I don’t think so. I don’t know.” I giggle feeling a little silly. I wish I did. It sounds amazing.

Dirk begins to sing this song. I have never heard anything like it. I imagine it being my song. His song dedicated to just to me. Even it wasn’t so. It makes me love the song and him even more. After he finishes the song, he laughs sheepishly. I smile widely at him. My grin, I feel, is dorky just like his. So silly. I sigh. Dirk takes my hand. He looks at me, instructing me to get up. His protective gaze tells me it’s time for bed. I suddenly feel very tired. We enter the bedroom and without a word, collapse onto the bed and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

The next morning, Dirk walks me to the train station. “You can head back on your own. You’re a very capable little girl, Amanda.”

“I’ll miss you, Dirk.” I tell him, my eyes welling up with tears. “I love you.”

A song from nowhere enters my head. Is it by Madonna? “What Can You Lose” is the title. The song itself seems vague and far away.

“I’ll miss you too.” Dirk hugs me, sobbing. “I love you.” It almost comes out sounding like a whisper. “We’ll always be together no matter what. No one can stop that.” Dirk sniffles deeply to stop from crying. I am a mess, and I can’t stop crying. “Go on, Amanda. I’ll only leave the station when I know you’re back safely.” We hug one more time. He has to pull me away before I can leave him. It feels like I am never going to see him again.

“I’ll come back. I promise.” I promise him.

“I am holding you to it.” He chuckles desperately trying to hide the unmistakable pain in his face. Dirk pulls me close one more time. He hugs me with a very tight squeeze. This time, I push him away.

“I better go.” I say the words as if I am gasping for a breath that I can’t catch. I hop on the train. Rick smiles and waves as if he knows what’s going on. I disappear onto the bus. I peer out the window. I feel as if I don’t have the strength to wave to Dirk. He doesn’t wave either. It’s the hardest goodbye I have ever had to experience. I don’t ever want to have to go through that again. Ever.

Dirk sees well into the future. He knows exactly what I am going to go through as the years pass. It scares him, something awful. As much as he wants to stop it, he knows he can’t. I am supposed to learn something from it all. No matter how bad it all gets. I don’t want to leave him. Am I ready for what is going to happen? There’s only one way to find out.

(“There’s too much to lose.”) Dirk thinks to himself before hanging his head and walking away.