The Meh Man

There are days I would pay good money to go back to the days of the slower paced race. But that’s not in the cards for me, not anymore. Not since the day I unintentionally caught their attention.

Let me tell you a little about me. I run part-time at half speed in the slow lane and will go out of my way to avoid drama. I can't stand it.

Anyway, I work in the yellow light district, as a dock worker at "CIOMN" (caution is our middle name) If you need adequate service and mediocre delivery, I'm your guy!

We were shorthanded, so, I was asked to take the last delivery of the day. Fine for me, because the delivery was for a little diner around the corner from me. I planned it so I could drop the goods and then just go on home. Luckily it was at the end of the day, so I would be hitting rush hour traffic. Oxymoron, I know, but it was just my pace.

I was slowly making my way through bumper to bumper on 401, when out of nowhere this red vet came barreling right behind me. He was honking and flashing its lights at me to move over, so, as I began to make my way, I was oblivious to the fact that he was too.

Unknowingly, I snagged the back of the truck into his wheel well, dragging him to the shoulder, where police nabbed him up. Apparently, he had robbed a local bank and was leading the police on a not so high-speed chase.

I am currently on my way downtown to a press release in my honor. I heard someone nicknamed me, “The Meh-Man, an accidental hero", eh, I'm ok with that.