The Lists

“Hey, Arthur, did you get that data I sent you?”

Arthur slammed the drawer shut. How long had he been staring at it?

“Oh, hey, Cheryl. Yeah, I did, but can you tell me a little more about what I’m supposed to do with it?”

“That’s what I’m here for!” Cheryl responded in her usual Cheery Cheryl tone. She grabbed a chair from a nearby cubicle and clumsily rolled it to Arthur’s desk. “Ugh, why did we have to carpet the floors?”

Arthur shrugged and inched to the left to make room for Cheryl.

“Ok, let’s see what we got.”

“I took a peek at the data earlier and it just looks like an update of we got last quarter, with the addition of job classifications.”

“Right, so we need a couple of things from you. One: Recalibrate the productivity score based on income vs the individual’s output and striate that to job classification. And TWO,” Cheryl grinned and sat forward on the edge her seat, “create the C list for the Xibar Tribe!”

“Wait, what?” Arthur’s jaw dropped.

“Isn’t it exciting? The Population Enhancement Program worked! We, for the first time in history, need to cull a tribal nation! I mean, just look at these numbers!” Cheryl reached for the mouse. Data whirred by on the screen and suddenly stopped. “See? If we don’t get these numbers in check, they’ll be a racial majority in 2 years.”

A few seconds passed as Arthur tried to comprehend. “Wow, yeah.”

“When can you have the C-List ready?”

“Well, I need about a week to wrap my head around this momentous occasion, but-“

“Oh, you! Don’t be silly, I need to present this to Population Board Friday. There’s a huge party this weekend to celebrate the Board’s success.”

“Um, yeah, that should be doable.”

“You may even be able to present it yourself! Or get an invite to the soiree?” Cheryl said in a sing-song voice. She winked and stood up. “Well, I’ll let you get to it, then. Barbara wants this to be your tip-top priority.”

“Well, what are equalizers for?” Arthur wished he could be as exited about C-Lists as his job title indicated.

“Great, C-List you later” Cheryl waved with her fingers as she walked away, laughing. Sometimes dark humor was so dark you couldn’t see it.

Arthur leaned back in his chair and sighed. He desperately wished he could have landed that Population Trend Analyst gig; all that guy had to do was track and trend the data, not apply it. Arthur was the application guy. Life had to be fair and he was an equalizer.

Equalizers played a vital role in ensuring a fair and equal life for all citizens. It was the job of the Equalizer in the cubicle behind Arthur’s to monitor height and ensure height corrections were carried out in accordance with the Predetermined Acceptable Height Range statutes. The Equalizer in the cubicle to Arthur’s left ensured Life Expectancy Equality. For instance, ensuring women did not out live men as they did in more barbaric and less equal times. The Equalizer in the cubicle to the right of Arthur’s ensured Group Cohesion Equality by ensuring equality at a group level. For example, when a child was born without a functioning limb, it was up to this equalizer to strategically select another child for selective amputation so that all families faced equal risk having a child with a missing or mangled limb at all times.

And of course, there was Arthur, whose duty was to ensure Demographic Equality. If the population of a select demographic was too small, a B-List, or Breeding List, was created. If some subset of a population was too large, a C-List, or Cull List, was created. Currently, the population subsets were based on race, sex, and national origin. Other departments were presently trying to solve the problem of creating and implementing equality programs based on sexual preference and acceptable health disorders.

Arthur opened the drawer. There it was. His grandmother had told him a time when lockets were shaped like something called a heart, but was nothing like a heart at all. People had had a ridiculous notion of what a heart looked like, it seems. He closed the drawer.

Arthur pulled the file containing all members of the Xibar Tribe. The spreadsheet contained each State Identifier and the corresponding Utility Rating, Height Acceptability Score, Life Expectancy, Sex, Job Classification, and numerous other factors. Arthur noticed the tribe members seemed to be taller than those of other State Defined Races.

“Hey, Grant.”

“Yeah?” A voice responded from the cubicle behind him.

“Why are the heights for Xibar Tribe so high? Aren’t you watching this?”

“Ugh, not that again. Yeah, unfortunately, the state can’t fund the number of corrective surgeries that demographic requires. So we adjusted the height score algorithm so we don’t get dinged every quarter. It’s a real pain, but until they get the funding, there’s not much we can do.” There was a pause. “Why are you looking at it?”

“Oh, these guys were put on my radar. Gotta get a C-list together for week after next. Gonna be a big announcement soon, I expect.”

“Wow, that program really worked, then. Hey, let me ask you something…” Grant’s voice trailed off.

Arthur turned around.

“Do you…” Grant looked around. “Do you ever get offered bribes?”

“Bribes?”

“You know, to make sure someone doesn’t get listed.” Grant’s voice was low.

Arthur thought carefully. He liked Grant and he didn’t like where this conversation was leading. “A couple of times…but people would have to know their State Identifier for me to even do anything. Not that I would, of course. “

“Of course not.” Grant turned back to his desk.

Arthur turned back to his. Time to work.

Step One, rank all members by Utility. Add the lowest five percent to the cull.

Step Two, rank all members by Genetic Potential. Add the lowest five percent to the cull.

Step Three, rank all members by Sex. There are way too many males. Filter excess males by sexual orientation. Ninety-nine percent are heterosexual. Add the heterosexual males to the cull list. Send memo to Board about the low rate of homosexual males in the Xibar Tribe.

Step Four, filter those within 5 years of maximal acceptable life expectancy. Add to Cull list.

Step Five, check for total reduction in population with current C-list. Not enough. But close.

Step Six, filter all female candidates and sort by Fertility. Add lowest five percent to cull list.

Step Seven, recheck male numbers and add excess males to C-List.

Step Eight, check for total reduction in population with current C-list. Perfect.

Step Nine, save.

Step Ten, Lunch.

Arthur meandered his way through the cafeteria. He saw Cheryl eating alone.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Sure!”

“Thanks, I wanted to ask you about the data you sent me. What are the job classifications?”

“Oh, you know, Essential, Non-Essential, I mean of course everyone is essential, but there’s essential and there’s, well, essential. Oh, and we now track departments by essential production and non-essential production as well as the overall utility and productivity.” Cheryl said all this between bites of salad and a lot of waving her fork around in circular motions.

“What’s the application, though?”

“Oh, well, basically,” Cheryl giggled, “essentially, we want to know what departments are doing well on a department level and an individual level. Previously we were mostly focused on individuals, but Barbara has this idea groups are the new way to go. She says it will be more encouraging and enhancing for everyone.”

Arthur nodded along with waving fork.

“We’re really just in the tracking phase right now, but don’t worry, you’ll get in on the project soon enough.” Cheryl winked.

Arthur tilted his head and laughed uncertainly. “How? All I do are the lists.”

“Yep.” Cheryl responded through several leaves of spinach.

Arthur blinked. “I’m going to be listing the Departments?”

“Oh yeah, I mean, hypothetically, if it works for the whole of the United Democratic Republic, why not the Departments?”

“How soon will that take effect?”

“I’ll be sending you test database in the morning. Top secret…ish,” she shrugged. “Don’t look like that, it’s only hypothetical experimentation. How’s your current project going?”

“Almost done, I’m going to review it and send it up in the morning.”

“Great!” Cheryl sipped on her water. “Well, my lunch is up, see you soon.”

“Bye, Cheryl.”

Arthur looked at is rations. He wasn’t hungry.

The following morning, Arthur found Cheryl’s new database in his inbox. Great. He opened the file and rows upon rows of numbered filled his screen.

Arthur sighed. He looked at the State Identifiers. It was one thing to create a C-List for some tribe living miles outside the city, these were people he knew. Each number had a chance of being Cheryl, or Grant, or even himself.

Step One, rank all members by Utility. Add the lowest five percent to the cull.

Step Two, rank all members by Essentialness. Add the lowest five percent to the cull.

Step Three, rank all members by Sex. Too many females. Add excess to Cull List

Step Four, rank by Performance. Add the lowest five percent to the cull list.

Step Five, filter those within 5 years of retirement. Add to Cull list.

Step Six, check for total reduction in population with current C-list. Not enough. But close.

Step Seven, filter all female candidates and sort by Fertility. Add lowest five percent to cull list.

Step Eight, recheck male numbers and add excess males to C-List.

Step Nine, check for total reduction in population with current C-list.

Step Ten, review data for number of occurrences of each department in the cull list. The Equalizers were going to lose a lot of workers. Simply too many were underperforming, close to retirement, or doing a job someone else could take on.

Arthur couldn’t help but wonder…which State Identifier was Grant’s? Cheryl’s? Barbara’s? No. Barbara would be on the A-List, those who don’t get listed. Maybe Cheryl, too, she knew a lot of influential people. More critically, which State Identifier was Arthur’s?

He had to spin this somehow…explain to Cheryl that Equalizers were important and the State couldn’t afford to lose so many at once. This was only a hypothetical test run, right? Surely, they would run computer models to make predictions about the consequences of such a program. Surely…

Arthur saved his work. He needed to talk to Cheryl before moving forward. He shut down his computer for the night and went home.

He barely slept and was ill prepared for the chaos of the office the following morning. His eyes locked on to Grant and he made his way through the crowd.

“What’s going on?”

“Not sure, a lot people are being ordered downstairs.”

“Downstairs?”

“Yeah. Some sort of audit or something.”

Arthur scrambled and shoved his way to his desk. He opened his drawer and grabbed the locket, holding it tightly to his chest.

Whispers and shouts added confusion to the bustling workers.

“There was a break in…”

“A breach in the data base is what I heard…”

“No, it’s just over some misfiled paperwork…”

The Equalizers were jostling each other as they made their way downstairs. Guards stood around, barely keeping order. They were shouting something.

“Everyone outside, security reasons, come on, there you go.”

Outside, the streets were filled will cargo containers. Everyone was shuffled into the containers.

“Arthur!”

Arthur looked around. Cheryl?

“Arthur!”

Arthur’s eyes met Cheryl’s across the crowd. He jostled his way toward her. They reached for each other and she fell in to his arms, sobbing.

“I’m so sorry, Arthur.”

“What for?”

“They found it. They found your analysis. I’m afraid this was more than a hypothetical exercise.”

Arthur feebly attempted to comfort her.

Guards and fellow workers shoved them into one of the cargo containers.

The door slammed shut and all was dark.