The Lion, the Dragon, and the Bear

Tell me about the lion.

I don’t want to talk about it. The lion…the lion left.

Why did he leave?

Because I failed. What business is it of yours?

Do you know who I am?

I’m not sure…I think so.

Does it matter who I am?

What matters is that I’m not impressed.

What impresses you?

Action. Results.

You are very good at that.

I am.

Yet you failed.

There was nothing I could do.

Are you ashamed?

I…I think so, yes.

But there was nothing you could do?

No. Maybe. I could have found a way.

Is there always a way?

Yes.

What if failure was necessary to succeed?

How so?

Maybe you weren’t meant to succeed alone.

So I created you?

Or made space for me.

So you are the answer to my problems?

We are the answer.

So you think I can’t win without you? Is that it?

Maybe you could. You don’t have to do it alone. What if the separation of you and I was your greatest achievement?

Unbelievable. You sit here and tell me that you are my greatest achievement, that I should be proud. F you. I tried to save us and I failed. I failed.

And?

And I did what I had to do! You know what I did? I’ll tell you what I did. I created you. You think I didn’t know what I was doing? I knew it was my death and I did it anyways, so don’t sit there and patronize me with your preaching about higher self. I did this.

And?

And it worked!

And?

And! And I would just like a moment of recognition for that. You are here because of me.

I was always here.

But I couldn’t hear you! Do you know how hard it was to make space! I had to let go of everything! Everything! Do you hear me? Do you know how much that hurt?

I do. And yet still you hold on.

I have done nothing but let go.

And still you hold on to the idea that you are dying.

I’m not really dying. Did you learn nothing? Were you even listening? I am still here, you are just free.

We are free.

Yes, I suppose.

Are you ashamed?

Of what? Of failure? You’re damned right.

Why? Do you not think yourself worthy of the challenge?

Of course I am.

What is a challenge without failure?

I suppose…nothing.

So you are proud of your challenge, yes?

Yes. Then why are you holding on to shame?

Because…because it’s the last thing I have of my old identity.

Do you love your new identity?

Yes. It was my idea. I want to be steadfast and solid, but I am not.

You don’t have to do it alone. You’re allowed to feel. Just let me witness.

They’re too much sometimes.

Tell me about the lion.

No.

Then tell me about the dragon.

The dragon terrifies me.

Why?

The dragon…the dragon is fire. It is like it lives in my belly. It is insatiable.

What does it want?

To feed.

On what?

It wants to win. It wants to battle. It wants to scream.

Ah…there it is. Why does it hunger so?

I don’t know. It’s so much.

Is it?

Yes.

Yet you’ve faced it.

Yes.

What did you see?

I saw my reflection.

What did your reflection tell you?

I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

Of not…of not being enough.

And?

If I am not enough then I am not worthy.

Worthy of who.

Of myself. Of my father.

Does your father judge you?

Of course he does.

How so?

He thinks I don’t make good decisions.

Why would he think that?

Because, he does.

What does he want for you?

An easier life than he had.

What does that mean then?

He…worries about me.

Ah…does that sound like judgement?

No.

Then who is judging?

I am. I judge myself and seek approval. Ironically, he’s most proud when I choose the hard path.

What should you do then?

Keep going. You are the hard path.

So if you are worthy, what of the dragon? What of fear?

Fear asks if I know who I am. The dragon rises when I am ready. It loves fear, but it loves courage more.

In what ways?

It makes me exceptional. It makes me get back up. It made me bring you here. I am proud that I brought you here.

And I love you for it.

But why do you need me?

You are the giver of names. You give meaning. You are the experience I cannot have.

Sounds important.

Tell me about the bear.

The bear…is peaceful.

I feel it.

I think he’s always there, looking out for me.

When is he there the most?

When I feel love. But if that’s true, why doesn’t he save me when I struggle?

Does love require saving?

It should.

You told me you saved yourself.

That’s true I did.

So you didn’t need the bear.

But then what is his purpose?

Did you struggle alone?

It felt alone.

Yet here we are.

So, you’re saying he was with me?

What would it mean if he was?

That he struggled with me. That he leant me strength.

And if he struggled with you?

He knows who I am.

Do you know?

I’m not sure. Do you?

I believe we will find out together.

I’m afraid.

Then we must be on the right path.

Was that a joke?

It was a statement.

I’m starting to like you a bit more.

Tell me about the lion.

I’m not sure I’m ready.

Me neither.

Then the hell with it. Forward it is.

You are surrendering.

Strange to feel safe doing that.

Tell me about the lion.

He was my protector. He went to war for me.

But he went away.

Yes, I had to walk in the fire.

Did you?

Yes.

Did the lion return?

Yes. No. He doesn’t need to. He watches, but I know who I am now.

And who are you?

I’m what believes.

And the lion?

The lion walks beside me.