The kind of love poets wrote about.

“They asked ‘Do you love her to death?’ I said ‘Speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’”

I was twelve when found a torn notebook under the bed in my third foster home. I was bored out of my mind because my foster parents wouldn't let me play with their kids and said I just couldn't. I never wanted to play with their kids any way they were a bunch of shitheads jerks. So I decided to start to read it, at first, I couldn't understand the damn scribbles the person who wrote it needed help once I managed to decode it I became more sure the person was crazy.

The notebook was written by a girl named Alina who loved a boy in her mosque and she sure loved this poet called Mahmoud Darwish and wrote his poetry all over the damn notebook.

“You are killing me and you are keeping me from dying. That is love.”

I mean what kind of crazy talk was this, they had to be crazy right? How does a person kill someone and keep them from dying? What was this love sad? I use to think only God was capable of love. Although my Mama used to tell me that all people could love I didn't believe her. I didn't believe people could love if it were true why was everyone so mean and why did Mama leave with

As I read I became more and more curious about Alina and Farhad (her mosque boy) I had never heard of anyone who talked about another person like this like they were bewitched by them, like they simply couldn't get enough. At first, I thought she was a druggie, a crack, and that it was just crazy talk. But I just kept thinking about it and it kept coming to my mind over and over again it made me warm in my tummy so I kept reading.

I then learned about their story and the story was a rather sad one.

Alina talked a lot about how she first met Farhad. She talked about how she always saw him staring at her but once she looked at him back he would look away. He looked at her all serious no smile to be found on his face not even a hint of it. Surely he hated her right? Why would he keep staring at her like a creep?

One day Alina got sick of it and marched towards Farhad and snapped at him, "Masla kya hai tumhara? Mein nay kia kya hai jo atni nafrat kartay ho mujhe say? Mein nay tum say kabhi baat bhi nahi ki magar tum mujhe aisay daikhtay ho jaisay mein nay tumhara bacha mar dya hai."

He just stood there shocked for a moment just trying to absorb the fact that Alina was in front of her talking to him.

"Well, are you going to say anything?" Alina interjected.

"I don't hate you at all."

His voice was soothing and deep it sent chills through her body.

She scoffed, "Phir why do you look at me like I took away your baby?"

"I like looking at you, I find you very pretty."

Now it was Alina who was shocked. Did he just say that he found her pretty?

That was the beginning of their story, their story was filled with hardships, happiness, and love.

Their families had never liked each other so they thought of themselves as the Pakistani versions of Romeo and Juliet. But they fought, they gave it their all trying always for each other because they felt as if they failed they would truly be Romeo and Juliet.

Farhad was reluctant to run away with Alina as he felt it was an insult to her and he didn't wish to leave his family.

The family was everything to him, Alina's family fights be distant but theirs was his world he wanted to make Alina a part of it. Show how his family did have her moments but she loved him and would love her. If she would see how Alina made him happy his mother would start to love Alina too. Alina was the picture of innocence with a dash of mischief that made him smile. She would love his parents and take care of them only if they gave her a chance.

In the end, the parents chose their pride over their children a mistake most make. Farhad had to choose his family or his Alina, a choice he was not ready to make but in the end, Darwaish was the one who helped him make the choice.

She says: When are we gonna meet? I say: After a year and a war. She says: When will the war end? I say: The time we meet.

He would always be at war without her so he chose her. He took Alina's hand and said "I will not promise you the world nor the stars and the moon but what I will promise you is my heart. I will love you through every fight, every argument, and every challenge that comes our way. I will stand by you as long as I live."

My family wasn't the one who taught me about love it was Alina and Farhad, just as Farhad was the one who taught Alina what love was.

I then started to dream of love, the kind of love they write poetry about, not the English poets but I wanted the kind of love Mahmoud Darwish wrote about. The kind that pained me to be away from, most of all I wanted to be loved like that. I wanted the love Alina and Farhad had because it was realistic not the unconditional love they show in fairytales as there is no such thing.

I haven’t spoken about you to them but they read you in my ink and papers. For love has an essence. And it cannot be smelt in the farms that grow peaches.