The Happiness School

My first day as a member of Red Camp at Happiness School and I killed the most popular kid in my barracks, Jon Lucas.

He fell off the edge of Happiness School. We’re a disc-shaped platform that floated a thousand feet above the ground. Here’s where they send kids who’ve been bad in some way so they can be reformed. The New God is a stern, but just God. He also has a sense of humor that is out of this world, but I only learned that later on in my time at Happiness School.

For a guy like me, who was a nerd and had real difficulty making friends, to say nothing of earning people’s respect, this was a disaster. Socially speaking, that is. I was happy to be alive and glad my dad had given me a few last-minute boxing instructions. I was terrified Jon’s friends would get revenge. Turned out most of them didn’t care all that much about him. I guess they were, like so many, fair-weather friends, concerned, like most people, with themselves.

Or, was their callousness due to the fact that nobody died at Happiness School? I mean, yeah, we could get killed. Hell, I got killed my first time fighting with the other Camps.

The dead come back here at Happiness School, eventually.

Found that out from Golden Mama herself at my first communal lunch with all the Red Campers.

Jon’s sister was another story. She hated me. Jon’s girlfriend I couldn’t read. She gave me a cold and measured stare and then walked off back towards the barracks.

“I’m going to kill you, whoever the hell you are,” Jon’s sister, Mary, told me. I believed her.

“My name is Brian,” I said.

“Gonna kill you,” Mary said.

“Leave him alone, Mary. Your brother was a jerk, so what? We’re all jerks here.” A voice said behind me.

I turned around and a short, black-haired kid, who had a big natural smile on his tanned face, stuck out his hand. I took it and he introduced himself.

“Tavis Molano.”

“Kill you too, Tavis, you being friends with him.”

Tavis rolled his eyes and shook his head. He pointed to a tall figure walking towards us. “Tell that to one of the Golden Mama’s, why don’t you?”

“Mary Lucas, calm down. What’s the point of all this grief and anger? Your brother will be back with us in a week or so.” That was a Golden Mama, one of our android supervisors. Taller and more muscular than a man. Built like a perfectly proportioned female body builder. Gold hair and gold skin and gold eyes. I said hello and how’re you doing and she smiled hugely (though her smile didn’t touch her eyes) and welcomed me to Happiness School and Red Camp. Told me how Red Camp was the best Camp in all of Happiness School and on and on in that vein for a few minutes.

“Is it lunch yet?” Tavis interrupted Golden Mama.

Her eyes went cold and then that smile bloomed on her face and she glanced at Tavis and then at Mary and then at me. For as second there I feared one or all three of us were going to join Jon Lucas a thousand feet down on the ground. Golden Mama’s eyes warmed up and that of hers changed to one of wan acceptance of the inevitable.

“Thank you, Tavis. Yes, my sisters have made a bountiful meal. Brian, you will sit next to Mary. Do NOT object, Mary Lucas. And don’t fight Brian at lunch. That is rude.”

The Golden Mama turned around and headed towards the barracks.

On the way over there, I gave Mary a fake apology for killing her brother. Trying to be polite and all that.

“Shut-up. You’re dead.”

“Mary, we’re all dead here, haven’t you figured that out yet?” Tavis asked her.

She said nothing as all three of us walked back to the barracks and my first meal at Red Camp.