The Great Peacock Chase

It was just me in the office that summer, working for the town’s Animal Control in Brookline. The head officer, who I’ll call Mike, was new. Mike had just left his job as a zookeeper, and you could tell he was a little out of place here. He’d look around at the quiet office, shifting his weight and staring at the clock.

One morning, he comes in, sighs loudly, and says, “I don’t get how you handle the boredom. You must be going nuts sitting here alone all day.”

I shrugged. “It’s not that bad. Peaceful, really.”

But he just shook his head. “Nah. C’mon, come with me on a call. Get you out of here.”

Ten minutes later, I’m strapped into the front seat of his truck as we roll out, destination unknown. Mike turns to me and says, “Oh, by the way, we’ve got a peacock situation.”

“A what?”

He nods, looking way too excited. “Someone’s pet peacock got loose, and now it’s terrorizing a retirement home.”

So there we are, driving through the suburbs, looking for a bird I had never even seen outside of a zoo. Sure enough, when we pull up to the retirement home, there it is: a full-grown peacock strutting its way across the lawn, feathers on full display. And around it, a small group of retirees with walkers, each one scolding it like it’s a naughty grandchild.

“Okay,” Mike says, cracking his knuckles, “We just have to… herd it? I think?”

We spent the next hour trying to "gently guide" the peacock with a broom and an old bedsheet we borrowed from the home’s laundry. The peacock, however, had no interest in being herded. It’d honk, flap its wings, and run circles around us, leading us on what must’ve been the slowest chase ever.

Finally, exhausted and a little bruised, we managed to get it back to its owner, who seemed only mildly relieved. We drove back in silence, the truck smelling faintly of bird, sweat, and defeat.

As I got out, Mike turned to me. “Sorry about all that,” he said, looking a little sheepish.

The next day, Mike walked into the office with his hands on his hips and a crooked grin. “So, about the peacock thing yesterday…”

“Yeah?” I said, already bracing myself.

“Well, apparently the mayor got wind of it. Said he appreciated the enthusiasm but ‘let’s not let that happen again.’”

I laughed. “How?!”

He threw up his hands. “I have no idea! But hey, at least we got out of the office, right?”