The Gleaning of Grenspeld
Fantasy Challenge Prologue (unofficial)

There weren't always dragons in the valley. In fact, there wasn't even always a valley. The first thing you learn in Grenspeld is that things can change very quickly when powerful beings find life boring. Beneath their feet, the grass can bloom and shift into gilded daisies. By the sound of their voices, brooks pour forth from ancient stones. Their fingers can mold the very dust of the air into objects more beautiful than the most precious jewels. They can even touch the hearts of people and change the way they tick. But, right now, it would be a little premature to get into all that.
What's important to note is that at this point, there is indeed a valley. A beautifully calm valley. The kind of place one would want to retire to in their old age. Pretty birds, nice scenery, and kind folks abound. Everyone is quite virtuous and trusting to a fault. This also makes it the perfect place for a traveling salesman to pawn off his illegitimate goods, or at least that's what Nate thought.
"Hello there Ma'am, who might you be?"
"Sobrina is my name," she said, giggling, "And who might you be?"
"Just a man speaking to a very pretty woman."
"Oh, C'mon. You can do better than that."
"What do you mean?"
"Where's the showmanship? The flare? I expected a whole lot more when you wheeled that fancy looking wagon into town the other day. At least wear a frilly coat or something."
"Oh, so you know about my business!" he said, hoping she knew nothing about his business, "I have some of the finest wares around and-"
"I'm not buying any of your half rate HobKnob soaps or 'rare, magical' pinecones."
"My pinecones are nothing short of exceptional."
"I'm a musician, I can hear a phony from a mile away."
"Everyone probably wishes they couldn't hear your singing from a mile away." Nate muttered, but intentionally loudly enough for her to hear.
"And everyone you meet probably wishes they'd never met you."
She turned her back to him and walked away across the town square, her guitar swaying as it hung from her back. He snapped his hand and a stone in the pavement in front of Sobrina rose ever so slightly, causing her to stub her toe. She cursed at the ground. He chuckled a little. Nate still had a few tricks up his sleeve. He began to think that he may have to reassess the townspeople's naivety though. At this point in time, the salesman saw that there happened to be a dragon in the valley, the Dancing Dragon Pub. He decided he would go down to the pub for a drink and to figure out what to do next. Nate sat down at the bar next to a kindly looking old man, asked the bartender for a drink, and began to think.
"What's on your mind, old friend?" the elderly gentleman said.
"Nothing, just business." said Nate, taking a swill of his ale. "What's on your mind, sir?"
"Well... I don't want to talk your ear off now, but.... things around here have been... concerning."
"Sir, I'd love to hear about your problems, but-"
"Thank you son! We've had strange omens of late. The Humdurks have been watching our town from the hills. Slimy little creatures. But, as you well know, they only scourge and pillage after something horrible has happened. They can sense that a disaster is about to take place. Our soothsayer says the same thing every time anyone asks. A terrible disaster is going to take place, mark my words."
"Those are some scary signs. My old man told me never to ignore that stuff."
They sat and drank in silence for a moment before Nate made an inquiry.
"How are you preparing?"
"Most people think it's going to be an invasion. Some think it'll be a big storm. Of course, a few think it's all made up. So we're building barricades and stockpiling food right now. Tomorrow we'll start reinforcing buildings."
"Do you need an extra hand?"
Nate felt like he was crazy when it came out of his mouth, but he had hatched a plan. If he could get to know the people of the town well enough that they trusted him, he could use their trust to take their money. It wasn't the quickest or easiest score, but it would pay off in the long run. "Imagine," he thought, "I could have everything and everyone in the whole town at my disposal."
So when the old man said that he could help, he acted excited and continued to chat and drink with him. When the old man offered to let him stay at his home, Nate thanked him thoroughly and accepted. They left the bar together and began to walk towards the man's house. The man needed some help walking after the booze, so Nate supported him with his shoulder. As they were walking through the town square, they started to hear a peculiar noise.
Squalk. Squalk.
A huge flock of crows flew overhead, blotting out the shimmering stars. They flapped and yapped, and soon they were perched on every standing surface in town.
"The omens are getting worse." the older man said, "It's going to be bad."
They made it back to the man's house. He showed Nate to the guest room, and then got Nate to help him to the door of his own bedroom, where his wife was sound asleep. The old man thanked Nate and closed the door behind him. As soon as Nate finally touched the bed, he fell asleep. It was a lot more comfortable than the floor of his wagon.
Nate woke up the next day to a rising sun and the sound of songbirds calling. He arose, straightened his suit, practiced his smile, and left the room. The smell of fresh food quickly pierced his nose, and he levitated immediately in the direction of a breakfast being cooked by the old man's wife.
"Charles and our daughter should be down at any moment. Thank you so much for helping them, I worry about them sometimes."
"It's no problem at all ma'am."
The old man came down and all three of them began to eat breakfast. After a few minutes, they heard another set of footsteps in the hall. A woman walked into the room and looked straight at Nate. Her wavy black hair drooped around her shoulders. Nate thought she seemed familiar and got a little worried.
"Why is this man in our house?" Sobrina asked, coldly.
"You know Nate?"
"Sir," Nate began to explain very slowly, "I am sorry. I did meet your daughter yesterday, and it wasn't under the best terms. I was an ungrateful guest in your town when I arrived. I was very wrong. I apologize deeply." He then turned directly to Sobrina. "If you want me to leave, I understand."
Her father looked at her and used his eyes to tell her how to respond. Sobrina sat down and started to eat her food. When they had all finished, the three of them went into town to help with the preparations.
The townspeople had many tasks to accomplish in order to fortify the village. Nate helped to move supplies, build supports and barricades, and with finding good places to hunker down and hide. As they accomplished these tasks, he was able to meet and talk with people whether they were assisting too or just passing by. Given his natural charm and strong effort, everyone generally seemed to like him. He went on helping with the preparations for a few days, and he quickly became very popular. His hard work and unrivaled kindness, as shallow as it truly was, were very appreciated by the people in the town. Sobrina even, though skeptical at first, became impressed. This was partially because he was incredibly consistent. Whenever he met someone he despised with every fiber of his being, he tried to make himself smile as big as he could and thought "Just pretend to be nice, it'll be worth it later when I get to take their money."
One night, while her old man was drinking at the Dancing Dragon, Sobrina and Nate were walking back to her home. Before, she would have never trusted him enough to walk at night with him, but after seeing his "personality" day in and day out, she felt at ease. Nate was tired from the day's work and from pretending to be nice. They walked in complete silence, but Sobrina had words trying to bubble up out of her throat. She tightened the straps of the guitar around her back.
"Nate."
"Yes?"
"I thought you were a huge phony. But after spending 3 days around you all the time, I've found out that's not true. I just don't know what to do, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."
"Takes a lot to say that." Nate said, smiling broadly, "It's already nothing."
Though Nate's heart was churning with the fact that he was good enough to fool her, and that she was a big enough fool to fall for it, he kept his composure. They made it back to the house, and settled in for a good night's rest.
When Nate awoke, he found himself laying in a field, covered in dew and ants. After shaking off the insects and trying to stretch out the crick in his neck, he realized something crazy. This was where the valley had been. The mountains in the distance were the same. The stream on the other side of the hill was there. The forest encompassed the spot. Yet, there was no valley. It was as if it had just been leveled out. It just disappeared like a cheap magician's trick.
He checked, but he found that all of his possessions were gone. His cart, which he had parked at the edge of the forest, was nowhere to be seen. He eventually found the one other thing that did make it out of the valley when Sobrina, her dark hair muddled with dirt and dead grass, lifted her head off of the ground. She quickly realized the same thing that Nate had figured out, and she immediately ran to him and started sobbing. He attempted to slowly move her off of him, which he eventually did, but the sobbing didn't stop.
Nate was able to grub up some food from the forest nearby, and she took some to eat as she calmed down. Then, she started with the questions. What happened? Who did this? Where is everyone? Why aren't we gone too? She cried a few times in the middle of her questions. Nate didn't really give any answers. This was partially because he had no answers, and partially because he wasn't incredibly concerned. Crazy things like this happened all the time. He was just annoyed all his stuff was gone. After a little while though, her face turned into a different expression. It was bold, reckless, unconcerned with boundaries or possibilities.
"I will bring the valley back."
"What? I think you may be going crazy."
"I have to. I have to save my town. My family."
"Well good luck with that."
"How hard could it be? Just need to find some kind of magic person right?"
"I doubt there's a sorcerer in all of Grenspeld who can undo that."
"So, we leave Grenspeld and find someone else."
"We?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed, given how kind you seem, and how much you've been willing to help so far. It's fine though, I know you might just be a phony like I thought before, you don't have to help."
Nate really wanted to stick it to her now. He didn't want her to know that she had been right. A tiny amount of pity also stung his heart. But he also didn't want to get nothing from this venture.
"Ugh. I think I know a guy who may know of someone who can help. It's a longshot. But first, I have to ask. What is in it for me? This could be very dangerous. I need some kind of motivation to go on."
"The satisfaction of a completed quest?"
"Seriously?"
"I mean, think of it this way. What else do you have?"
She was right about that. A resounding nothing rang through his head. She was very happy with his answer. Nate told her more about his friend who could start helping them, and they were off as soon as they figured out what direction to travel.
And so, the pair left the dragonless non-valley land form and went forward into what could quite possibly turn out to be an impossible quest.
*Author's note: this was kind of rushed. It isn't great, but there may be a decent story in there somewhere. Any feedback is incredibly, incredibly valuable. Please criticize and comment your thoughts. Thank you!!*

Comments (1)
Nifty, overall I dig it as a hook. Its a classic kind of setup, and it gives the story a lot of different paths to travel. You have a double hook kind of situation going on. The first hook is Nate's introduction and actions to the valley and the second hook is the yoinkening of that initial setup away. In my opinion, the best way to improve it would be to expand upon the first hook, particularly the segment where Nate is helping prepare the town. This could be a lot longer and I think expanding it would be a great way to deepen feeling of investment Nate has in the town. You could build more tension for the upcoming raid and give Nate more chances back out and refuse to help, so he gets further and further into the "sunk cost" mindset. These are some little opinions of mine that may or may not make the story better. Overall, good job! If you do end up writing the rest of the story I'll be interested to see what happens.