THE GIFT

THE GIFT

BY Jared Hogston

I escaped from myself anyway I could, even by putting my own life at risk. “At any cost necessary” was my motto. My brother beat, cut and stabbed me most of my life and my biggest escape route was through drugs. I never wanted help, in fact I didn’t believe help was possible. Who knew that it was. I sure didn’t. It’s been a year since I was released from prison and I’m still sober. Today is my birthday. One year of sobriety. I never imagined this day would come and I definitely never imagined it would be like this.

This morning was just like any other. I got up, washed my face, put on some clothes and made some coffee. As I stepped outside there was a strange package at my doorstep. It was wrapped in brown paper and the odd thing was that it had no addresses on it. I left it where it was while I drank my coffee, but I couldn’t get it off my mind. I picked it up and shook it. No sound. I took it inside and set it on my kitchen table and slowly unwrapped it. Inside was a strange looking mirror. “Who was this from?” I wondered out loud. I wasn’t expecting anything. The mirror was very old and very dirty. I’m really not a vain person but I couldn’t take my eyes off the reflection. This definitely isn’t how I see myself. Everything looked so distorted and ugly. Not at all my picture of perfection but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t take my eyes away. I decided to clean it. The more I scrubbed it, though, the dirtier it got. It must have been tarnished or something. I just couldn’t take my eyes from it no matter how hard I tried. It was as if I were seeing the real me for the first time and I didn’t like what I saw. It was three a.m. when I snapped out of this trance-like state I was in. I hadn’t eaten or even used the bathroom. All I had done was looked into this mirror so I put it back in the box and eventually made it to bed.

The next day I rushed to my kitchen to get the box. I opened it up eagerly, only when I looked inside it was a different mirror. When I looked into it my heart filled with rage. A bright eerie light filled the room and emotions I never knew I had filled my heart. I hated this mirror because it made me feel things I had tried so hard to escape. Nevertheless I was drawn to this mirror as well. I was unable to look away no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to break it to make me feel this way. There was a hatred in my heart for this mirror. Such a hatred I never knew existed, especially inside of me. Inside of this mirror lies the ugliness inside of myself. All my bitterness and resentments boiled to the surface but I couldn’t look away. I saw my past and all the bad things I had done to others to get what I wanted. “Where had the other mirror gone?” I asked myself over and over again, desperate for an answer but none came. I felt frustrated and angry, I even felt violated to see this ugly side of myself. This was not what I wanted to see. I threw the mirror and it shattered. As I picked up the fragments of the mirror I began to feel at peace. It was as if I were picking up the pieces of my life and putting them back together again. I began to have clarity and understanding the likes of which I never had before. I felt at peace as I threw these fragments in the trash. With each one I looked into I saw the emotions they made me feel and I took a long hard look at them before throwing them in the garbage. When I had finished I began to reach out to people I had wronged to make things right. I never imagined that most of them had already forgiven me because it was impossible for me to forgive myself. I decided that it was time for me to do just that. I found peace and joy and contentment for the first time in my life.

The next day I woke up and made a pot of coffee and started to throw away what I thought was an empty box. When I opened the lids and looked inside to my surprise I found the most beautiful mirror I had ever seen. It was gold inlaid with diamonds and jewels. No way this was real. It would be worth millions if it were. I looked into it but it didn’t show my reflection. Suddenly a bright light shone out of it blinding me. It put off such heat that I couldn’t quite hold on. I was mesmerized by this mirror. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. When I looked into this mirror I felt love and patience, kindness and compassion radiate through every single pore of my body. All I know is that I didn’t want this feeling to ever go away. All my life I’ve searched for this feeling doing anything and everything to fill this chasm, this void, that lived deep inside of me. This feeling reached the very core of my heart and soul. No matter how long I wanted to search this mirror for answers I couldn’t look into it for very long. I put the mirror away and decided I would come back to it later. I made breakfast and sat outside and drank my coffee and reflected on what I had seen over the past few days. This all seemed so surreal. Had I been dreaming. Was I going crazy. The answers weren’t there but for once that was alright with me. Maybe I didn’t need all the answers.

Later that day I went back to the box and opened it up. Inside was just a single piece of paper folded over once. I reached in, took out the paper and flipped it open. Inside it read,

“From your Father, with all the love in the world.”

This was the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. A second chance at life.

Hope you have enjoyed my story. Please feel free to share. All the help supporting this story is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.