The Ghost Who Had Social Anxiety

Everyone assumes ghosts love attention. They slam doors, flicker lights, whisper your name at 3 a.m. But not all spirits are like that.

Some ghosts don’t want to be seen.

Some don’t want to scare you.

Some... just want peace and quiet.

Meet Edwin. He’s dead.

And he has social anxiety.

A Quiet Afterlife, Please

Edwin died in 1912 from a tragic slip on a bar of soap (yes, really). Ever since, he’s been quietly haunting a small, abandoned guesthouse on the edge of town.

He chose it because no one ever visits. It’s dusty, cold, and smells like moldy curtains — just the way Edwin likes it.

“I’m not a people ghost,” he often sighs. “I never was, even when I had lungs.”

The Nightmare Begins: Visitors

One day, his worst fear arrived:

A couple booked the house for a “haunted weekend getaway.”

Edwin panicked. He floated into a wall for 3 hours just to avoid eye contact.

But they kept looking for signs. They lit candles, played Ouija, even shouted:

“GIVE US A SIGN!”

So Edwin did.

He gently… rearranged the teaspoons.

Then he apologized to them in a whisper only the couch could hear.

The Accidental Haunting

That night, they pulled out a spirit box. Static buzzed. A robotic voice asked,

“IS ANYONE THERE?”

Edwin, trying to be polite, whispered “Sorry, I’m not comfortable talking…”

The couple screamed and ran.

Edwin cried for two ghostly hours.

“I didn’t mean that,” he sniffled. “I just don’t like small talk.”

Edwin’s Comfort Routine

After that, Edwin made a plan to avoid further social interaction:

• He hides in the basement whenever humans show up
• Wears a sheet to “blend into laundry”
• Practices non-threatening ghost movements (like gentle floating instead of gliding aggressively)

His favorite hobby?

Watching rats play cards under the floorboards. They don’t ask questions. Bliss.

Ghost Therapy (Kind of)

One day, another spirit floated by — Margaret. She died in 1899 and loved ballroom dancing, screaming, and being dramatic.

“Why don’t you ever moan through the vents like the rest of us?” she asked.

Edwin replied, “Because I have anxiety, Margaret.”

She stared at him for a long moment… then offered to haunt the attic instead so he could have his space.

It was the most touching thing he’d ever experienced since death.

Edwin vs Modern Technology

Edwin’s biggest fear isn’t priests or salt circles — it’s WiFi.

The last time someone brought a smart speaker, it activated randomly and shouted,

“PLAYING Ghostbusters BY RAY PARKER JR.”

Edwin was so offended, he knocked over a scented candle (lavender — ew) and curled up in the broom closet.

He doesn’t hate music. He just prefers silence… or the occasional creaky floorboard jazz.

Misunderstood Again

One time, he tried to leave a polite note:

“Please don’t yell in this house. It’s stressful.”

But the guests took it as a demonic threat.

They ran screaming, and one of them tripped over their own psychic crystals.

Edwin just stood there, holding his ghostly pencil, thinking:

“This is why I don’t put myself out there.”

Final Thought

Edwin isn’t a terrifying demon or cursed soul.

He’s just an introvert who died too early and now hides in a house he technically still pays ghost rent for.

So if you ever hear a spoon gently clink on the floor or see a blanket folded mysteriously…

Say thank you. It might be Edwin, trying to keep the peace.

And maybe… just maybe… he’s a little lonely.

But he’ll never say it out loud.

Because ghosts with social anxiety don't do confrontations — they just hover silently, hoping you'll leave the light off and the volume low.

All Edwin really wants is a quiet eternity…

…and maybe someone who understands that even in the afterlife, it’s okay to need space.