The Free Seekers

There weren’t always dragons in the valley. And yet, as I rode Nur under the stark skies of Berzeh, I had never been happier that they were now. I admired the dips in the earth beneath me as they transformed into one big sea of green as we got farther and farther away. Nur whinnied beneath me as she shook her head against the cool air we rarely ever got this far out of the kingdom and despite the events of today, I laughed at her excitement. She kept going until we reached the end of the forest and finally, we arrived at the sand dunes we inevitably found ourselves at every ride we managed to take.

Judging by the absence of the blaring sun and the brightness of the stars as they brought out light on one of the darkest days of my life, I should have been back hours ago. And yet, despite knowing that people would wonder where I was, many people after what had occurred mere hours ago, I couldn’t find it in me to care. Not when I had just been told by the king himself that the only way to save my father was by marrying his son- a prince I had no interest in marrying even if he were the last man on this planet.

I did have one other option though. To become Berzeh’s first-ever Rakiba, the leader of the next generation of dragon riders. Also known as the dragon killers. Becoming the Rakiba was no small feat and something I had dreamed of the second it was announced by the officials not too long ago. And not just because it would give me the status I would need if I were to save my father without having to resort to becoming the princess. But because it would give me the freedom I had always wanted. The freedom to choose my dragon rather than use one from the “officials” who trained them against their own. It was disgusting and feral and I wanted no part of it. Of course, if they knew that they would have exiled me on the spot, but that was precisely why I kept my motivations to myself.

Unfortunately, as if becoming the first Rakib wasn’t a tough enough feat, I had to as a girl. Not to mention, the one person I despised most was chosen alongside me for the running. I saw it coming from a mile away, like a meteor surfing through the skies until I had no choice but to accept fate as it crushed me. We were, after all, the only two with prior experience with dragons because of the History and I had already raced against all my other contenders, as did he. We were the only two left and I had yet to see if I was capable enough to best him at the trial that would decide my fate. Despite all this, I was still excited to see if all the training Nur and I had done would live to do us some good. If it didn’t, I was going to be very surly that I spent five years of my life sucking up to a dragon that was this close to lighting me on fire every time I looked away. I had more burns on my skin than I did hairs on my head.

Since this was the first time they would ever be choosing a Rakib, the rules were still new to me and while many of them didn’t make sense, the rest made just enough for me to know that we stood a chance. This moment, despite it having taken so long to arrive, marked when the kingdom was forced to abandon its old ways of thinking and open itself up to new ones. New ones that I had already embodied thanks to my mother. Ones that involved the one thing that had been on the verge of tearing this kingdom apart.

For so long, dragons were seen as the enemy. A menace to our people that had to be eradicated the instant they were discovered. But just like with all animals, I refused to believe that they were violent because that was just their nature. I always thought that there had to be something else at play for them to wish us any harm. They only needed to see the good in us just as we had to do the same with them.

The dragons couldn’t communicate with us, but my mother had taught me all I had to know in order to understand them. What their calls meant, the flaps of their wings, and the swishes of their heads all signified. I glanced down now, feeling the steadiness of Nur’s wings falter every so often, and whistled for her to land. One of the first things my mother taught me about dragons was that you couldn’t train one until you learned to love one.

Without knowing how to care for a dragon, riding one was like jumping off a cliff and expecting the ground to catch you. They had no interest in keeping you alive if you didn’t hold the same sentiment towards them. And that was what the official's undoing was going to be. I didn’t have to be there during their “training sessions” to know that their methods for training the creatures bordered very closely to the line of mistreatment. I only hoped that by becoming Rakiba, I might be able to remedy that. Or maybe kick them out entirely, whatever came first.

Nur responded to my call with a tilt of her head before she dipped down. Her wings clung to her sides as the air whooshed past us and I held on to dear life, screaming to the ends of the earth as I forced myself to accept that this might be the last time I could. This was a feeling I would never forget. The feeling of having my voice sucked into the air where nobody could ever hear me except for Nur and the celestial bodies around me that felt as if they were embracing me with their light. Alas, even through that, It was also a feeling that was hard to come to terms with. Because it only reminded me that it was temporary. Here, I might have been limitless, but down there, it felt like quicksand every time my feet landed in the soil. Swallowing me whole until there was nothing else to be found but a girl forever stuck in the same place.

It was always funny to me, thinking of how I would much rather the company of Nur than any other person. That fact may have made me an outlier but that had never been something I minded. I had always believed that dragons were intelligent and beautiful creatures that meant no harm. After all, the only so-called proof that we had to believe otherwise was a children’s tale that was a couple of centuries old. The story of Monsaleh, the only Rakib known to our people and a despicable one at that. The way he earned that title was through a wretched tale that caused the death of not only many of our people but also altiniyn alramiliu. The sand dragons. The dragons of our land that were nothing but peaceful creatures unless provoked. Unfortunately, I was the only one who seemed to think so.

Until his story, widely known as the story of the Red River, there was no talk of dragons, let alone knowledge of their existence. The story went like this: Upon his quest of the uncharted territories of Berzeh, Monsaleh stumbled upon a nest. Except rather than in a tree, this nest was hidden amongst a cave. One that was told to have been able to fit hundreds of dragons at once, all flying and squawking. He, of course, having no idea what the creatures were, stayed incredibly still, terrified for his life, and trying to keep attention away from himself.

Unluckily for him, it was not only the dragons in the cave that he had to worry about but the ones lurking just outside. As he was about to run, one of them sniffed him out just as it was about to go back into the cave as it locked its eyes on him. It was said that they actually flashed with fire as it simmered with rage and in seconds, it lashed out, burning his arm with its breath of fire. In the tale, he claimed that the dragon was a vicious beast, stopping at nothing to destroy him despite him doing nothing to deserve it before he managed to jump up on its neck and cut off its head. With his sword that was still praised to this day. He escaped through a river that led him through a waterfall and it was said that his arm was still bleeding heavily enough to stain the river red behind him. Thus, it being forever known as the Red River. He returned to his village but not before he lived to tell the tale we now knew. The story that claimed his last words were altiniyn alramili.

It did not take long for talk of his mangled body to ripple throughout the villages and the farther it got, the more the fear grew before it turned into the need for retribution. A wish for revenge unlike any other. It took them no time at all to rally a group before they marched to the cave with eyes as bright as their torches ablaze and set fire to the nest, killing every dragon that resided in it.

Unlike this one, the tales of my childhood had always held a certain respect and dignity towards the dragons that others failed to, and that was thanks to my mother. As an animal healer, she had always had a distinct perspective on the creatures. She was the reason I never let others plague my mind with whatever lies they wanted to come up with next. She was also the reason I never assumed until I had an experience to speak for itself and the same went for the dragons. Even if the only true stories I could attribute to that was that of Monsaleh. After all, the victors were the ones who got to tell the story while the victims were dealt whatever hand the former deemed fit. And in this case, the hand they were dealt was their near extinction. I could never see a way where the people were not at fault for what they did and if that made me an outcast, so be it.

After that dreadful day, everyone thought that the dragons were gone, that they managed to kill off every last one, but that was not the case. And I was incredibly thankful for that fact. Throughout our lives, the kids of the villages were told never to go near the Red River, to always be wary of straying too close to the cave, but those threats meant nothing to a curious child whose only dream was to see something mystical. Never caring that she might have been burnt to crisps if she did.

One night, as I was gathering fruits for that day’s supper, I heard a twig snap behind me and took out the arrow from my quiver that I never left without and held it up, prepared for whatever was to come at me. I remembered looking left to right repeatedly, my head whipping back and forth as my notched arrow followed my line of sight. I tried finding the perpetrator before my eyes finally dipped down and fell on the little culprit. She was incredibly small at the time, less than a couple of human years old but then again, they did tend to grow at much different rates than us.

For a second, I didn't do anything for fear that it would lunge at me. But instead of initiating a fight, it simply watched me as I went to a knee, excruciatingly slowly, and put down my weapon. Instead of making me it's dinner like all the stories had the children believing, it only cocked its head at me as I held out my palm. It approached my held-out hand and I recalled the way my whole arm shook but I kept it there. That was when Nur nuzzled my hand and when she became mine, just as I became hers.

Despite there never having been a sighting after Monsaleh’s tale, this was still at a time where the law was to kill a dragon on sight If you were to ever encounter one. So, despite it causing tears for fear I would never see her again, I had no choice but to leave her there. I ran home, calling for my mom as soon as I stepped through the door, knowing she would understand. The next day, she went with me to see if Nur was still there and to my delight, she was. In the same place, her magnificent green scales glinting in the moonlight and her head cocking in that way she never grew out of.

That was when I vowed to not only protect her but all the dragons still alive despite the slaughter our people committed. And now, I saw no better way to do that than to become the next Rakiba. Unfortunately though, my reasons for becoming one didn’t exactly align with the manifesto. They wanted a Rakib so that they could have someone to kill the dragons as they saw fit and I had no interest in becoming someone's lap dog only to continue a future I saw ending as soon as it began.

I never understood why they saw the need to kill the last of the dragons in the first place. They had to know we could live in harmony by now since the job description of a Rakib was quite literally, the dragon rider. That meant there had to be some understanding there. That we could live miscellaneously and not either-or.

After all, the only difference between me and the “officials” was if I were to be caught with Nur, she would be put down and well, so would I, whereas they got to use the excuse that their dragon-riding was for the good of the kingdom. Sadly, the officials would also be the ones judging the trial which meant they were also watching me very closely, in the arena and out.

This meant that if I didn’t want to look suspicious, I had to use their own trained dragons every so often so they wouldn’t think I was practicing elsewhere. It worked. Until it no longer did. Which was the reason I was now marrying the prince.

Unless I could win the trial.

As long as I could keep my plans under wraps, I might have a chance of being worthy in the officials eyes. But even then, it didn’t matter, not so long as it meant that I would no longer have to marry the prince as I would already be serving my kingdom. Or at least I hoped it would. If it didn’t, maybe I could use the money from my winnings to tide the king over.

I hugged Nur close and patted her twice on her neck, letting her know she could slow down as she leveled herself with the air. I could see we were close to the drop-off zone. The place Nur would drop me off since I couldn’t be seen with her in the village and unease grew as we got closer, and I realized what going back meant. Maybe I could just stay a little while longer-

A rush of air caught my attention and without even having to look beside me, I knew who it was. The only other person in this kingdom stupid enough to fly a dragon without permission from the officials. Mazen. The one I loathed most. And the one whom I blamed for all this.

I had managed to forget for a little while because, well, that was why I came up here but now there was no ignoring it. I shut my eyes and let Nur lead the way, needing to collect my thoughts because if I didn’t, he and I wouldn’t live long enough to see the light of day. Or the ground. I had taught Nur well enough for her to know where to go without me leading her. I only wished it was away from him.

Once I thought I was calm enough, I glanced back to find him in dark riding gear, as I was to not get shot down. Just because we were riding the dragons didn’t mean others weren’t still wary of them, even if they weren’t officials. And I didn’t doubt that some would revel at the idea of handing us over to the crown for the gold. Just as was done to my father. Just as Mazen had done.

“Get the hell away from me, Shareef.” First names were a nicety we no longer had for each other as I bit out the words that held a million and one behind them. I was giving him a chance to not engage with me right now. Because unlike all the other times I had threatened to kill him, this time, I wouldn’t be joking.

The instant of confusion left his chameleon face, and it didn’t take long for his cocky grin to replace it. I called it chameleon because it never stayed the same for long, always adapting. He could be irritated one moment and laughing the next. So long as it meant irking me, he would always be changing. He wasn’t always like this though. There was a time when getting a rise out of me did not stem from hatred but friendship. Though those times would forever remain in the same place I would never return.

“I’m perfectly fine where I am, thank you. And I hear congratulations are in order, Amira’.” I froze, not having expected the news to travel so fast. Amira’ meant princess and for once, he was not just saying that to undermine me.

I had accepted the prince's offer to become his wife after the king gave me the choice of either that or having my father killed. He claimed that if my father didn’t know how to serve his kingdom, I should, and what better way to serve than as a princess? At first, I thought it was some cruel joke, but it didn’t take long for me to realize he was being serious. They had been searching for a partner for him for some time and had heard about the influence my father had in our village during his trial. He was a very well-known blacksmith in our village who was beloved by all. This then led to them thinking it would be a promising idea for a commoner to be the next princess, rather than a snotty aristocrat. Couldn’t say I disagreed, but that didn’t mean I wanted to be that commoner. Or anywhere near that palace.

Other than the hatred they held towards the dragons, I didn't have much against the king and queen. They were fair and tolerable enough to have as royals. The issue was their son. The prince who fell so far from the already tainted tree that I couldn’t even see it anymore. He was a scoundrel, a heathen, and many more choice words I was choosing to stray from for fear the angels could hear me this close to the seven skies. The so-called prince who made remarks that degraded me whenever we spoke and never failed to make me uncomfortable.

And yet, I still said yes. My father’s life for the sacrifice of mine, even if it didn’t mean death, because a fate sealed to the prince felt something close to that. At that moment, I didn’t even have to think about agreeing to the terms. But now, thinking about it was all I could do. Think and dwell and regret. But even through all that, I knew I would have done it again in a heartbeat.

I was well aware that me being up here right now was not going to help our track record but after I accepted the deal, I couldn’t stand being around the frenzy of that castle any longer. My mother was the only one who knew what really happened and she wasn’t even allowed there with me. So, I left. And Nur knew exactly where to find me.

I forced myself to return to the present to find him still gliding seamlessly on his red dragon, Sasha. Funny how we chose our names together only for me to be cringing at the irony behind the meanings behind them now. What was even funnier was the fact that the two dragons were sisters.

Sasha and Nur called to one other, communicating in a way their riders no longer could and I was glad they still had each other.

“Don’t ever call me that,” I said, my voice bordering on lethal.

“Why not? You did accept, correct? Then I believe it is only fitting that I call you by your official title, your highness.” He mocked and I curled my hand into a fist as I always did whenever I spoke to him and grounded myself as much as possible considering the circumstances.

“It hasn’t even been announced yet.”

I didn’t have to look at him to know his smug smirk was occupying his ugly face. Okay, maybe it wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t going to be admitting that any time soon. I knew, even if I didn’t say it out loud, it would fuel his smug ego.

“It didn’t take much for the news to spread. I was only too happy to listen in.”

“Of course you were. You are much too happy to do a lot of things.” I grumbled.

We were finally nearing the landing candles that I strategically placed, and I was glad I no longer had to worry about landing in thorn bushes. Nur, as always, landed as gracefully as a feather just like I taught her and I was quick to dismount, not wanting her to bear my weight any longer. I gave her a quick hug, not knowing how long it might be before I could do so again and she gave me a last nuzzle into my palm. That was our way of saying goodbye as well as hello and before long, she jumped back into the air. I swore she looked at me for a second longer than usual. As though she could tell something had changed.

Mazen did the same with his dragon and in no time, it was just the two of us. I was quick to blow out the tiny fires I had taught Nur to light not too long ago, not wanting to further the chance of discovery. It wasn’t easy teaching her how to control her fire. After all, It wasn’t as If controlling one’s fire was an easy thing to do in normal circumstances, but controlling one’s literal fire? Yeah, that took some getting used to. Not to mention, it wasn’t like she had a mother to teach her, and I certainly wasn’t knowledgeable enough to know either. How could I be when I was one of the first to not run at the sight of a dragon? First, before the imbecile standing beside me.

“You know, after what happened with your father, I didn’t expect you to be back out here so soon.”

I froze, every attempt at serenity dissipating as red-hot rage flooded my vision and I slowly stood back up. I had been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. But there was no way it was a coincidence. Not to mention I didn’t have to try too hard to think of a reason he would do such a thing.

“How dare you,” I spoke in an incredibly low tone, barely able to contain it in this small vessel that was my body.

“What-?”

As soon as the smoke lifted into the air and fueled the fire that had already been burning through me, I lunged at him. He didn’t even have enough time to blink at me before I punched him in the face and tackled him to the ground, taking out an arrow from my quiver in lightning speed as I did. I held it to his throat as I spoke.

“You’re the reason they found out about Nur. You’re the reason I have to marry the prince. She was almost taken away because of you. My father was almost killed because of you-” my voice faltered, and I looked away so he couldn’t see the emotion on my face. Letting him see weakness was only one step closer to letting him win. And after what he had done, I couldn’t let that happen. Not again.

“I’m going to kill you.” I tensed my hand around the wood, ready to cut him into shreds before he brought his leg up, maneuvering us so he was on top, giving him the advantage. He took the arrow from my hand and threw it to the side, away from my reach. I snarled like a rabid dog and tried kicking him off me, but it was no use. He was considerably stronger as he held my arms down and forced me to look at him.

“What’s wrong with you? I had nothing to do with that.” He yelled as I thrashed, unable to hear him.

“You’re the only one who knew.” I practically yelled. “You’re the only one who knows about her.” And before I could stop it, the next words flew out of my mouth, “You know, I actually believed you. When you said you would never tell anyone, I trusted you even though I should have known you would have betrayed me. As you always did after that day.” This time, a tear did fall out of my eye, and he frowned as he clenched his jaw and looked away.

When he looked back at me, there was something in his eyes that I didn’t know how to interpret. Not after so long of not knowing him.

“I didn’t lie, Razan. Out of everything that has ever happened, that will forever remain the same.” Well, that made everything better. I slammed my forehead against his and he hissed in pain. It took a moment for me to regain my bearings, but it was just enough time for me to go after my arrow once more. I snagged it off the ground just in time for his boot to kick it in my outstretched hand, snapping it in half. In that moment, it looked a lot like my heart breaking all over again.

“Bas. That’s enough. I don’t know what this is about but the only thing this will achieve is you hurting yourself. And we wouldn’t want that to happen just days before the trial now would we? I mean, I wouldn’t be too against it if you handed me the title. It would save us both a trip. Would they even let a princess be the Rakiba anyway?”

His incessant chatter didn't even register in my brain. “You knew. You’re the only one who knew.” I said quietly, wishing it weren’t true despite knowing that wishes were nothing but unanswered thoughts when it came to him.

“Am I? I think you need to think a little broader than that. Just because you fly at night does not mean you fly invisibly.”

“Then explain how I was the only one caught. Oh wait, let me guess. Because your daddy managed to redirect the blame to me. We both know he would stop at nothing to ruin my father. What’s to say you wouldn’t do the same to me?”

His nostrils flared. “My father has nothing to do with this. And even if he did, I would have stopped him if it ever got to that point. I am not him. If you take anything away from this, take that. Because when I beat you, it will not be because of his status. It will be because of my abilities and my abilities alone.”

The laugh that escaped me was not one I would ever have thought came from me. It was cold and broken and in truth, spoke of years that I had been trying to forget.

“You think I believe you respect me enough not to do everything in your power to make sure I don’t succeed? I am way beyond that point. Don’t ever call me Amira’ again. In fact, don’t ever talk to me again or so help me God, it will be the last word you say.”

And with one last slap across his face, I strode away from him, wiping away the last of my tears as I did. The last tears I would ever cry for him. I didn’t look back as I stepped through the village that was no longer to be my home only for my current one to stare me right back in the face, in all its glory. The castle. The one that was also home to Mazen as the son of Berzeh’s general of war. The castle I refused to accept was where the rest of my life lied.

Mazen didn’t stand a chance. Because if it meant saving my father and not signing myself off to a life in that place, nothing would stand in my way, least of all a chameleon who was too afraid to show his true colors.