The Forever Land Chapter 3

What time is it? Where am I? All I can hear is the labored breathing of my lungs and the stiffness in all the muscles of my body. Why can't I breath properly? I hear the beeping of the heart monitor, but I don't recall being brought to the hospital. It's quite a feat to open up my eyes. I feel better having them closed. Still, I need to see where I am. They flutter open briefly, but close once again. It takes up too much energy. I finally gain enough strength to open up my eyes.

I'm not in the hospital, instead I'm staring up at a familiar white ceiling. I'm in a familiar bed covered in dark blue blankets. I can wiggle my fingers but I can't seem to move anything else on my body. When I looked over at my hand I noticed a needle and tube sticking out of it. Why am I covered in hospital equipment in my own room?

A soft knocking comes to the door, but I can't find the energy to raise my voice, or even speak at all. I lift my head a little bit to see the door swinging open slightly and a familiar face popping her head into the room. "Dad?" Her voice is barely above a whisper. She smiles softly and walks into the room.

She looks a little bit older now. Her beautiful blonde hair has some grey in it that I can see, she is even starting to get a couple wrinkles. I can only smile as he walks into the room and sits next to my bed. She has a smile on her face but it's not the smile that I know and love. This smile is sad, and filled with fear.

"How are you feeling?" She asks and gently grabs my hand.

"I feel... young." I try to laugh a little bit but it hurts.

I know that I am not the young man that I used to be. I can no longer walk around the house, or go to the bathroom on my own, I can't even raise my hand to touch my daughters beautiful face. Still, I see her struggle to laugh as a tear falls down her face. It must hurt her to see me like this, but this is the way that life goes. "Please don't cry baby."

I attempt to raise my hand to wipe the tear from her face, but it is impossible. I can't lift my hand more than a centimeter before I run out of energy. My bones are no longer young and virile. I feel as though just lifting my hand is tantamount to running a mile. I smile softly at her.

"Don't be afraid for me baby. This is how life works. We are never meant to live forever."

I can feel it. I can feel it in my bones, I can feel it in my lungs and in my chest. I am no longer meant to stay in this world. I always imagined what the afterlife would be like. I imagined pearly gates and beautiful golden beams of light shining on me. I imagined Jesus waiting for me with open hands. At least, that is what I have prayed for most of my life.

I can feel the drips of her tears on my hands. They feel hot and full of sadness. She leaned her head down and I can feel her soft lips against my wrinkled skin. It still the same as I always remembered. Her hair was covering her face, but I knew from the way her shoulders rocked and her breathing became harsh that she was crying. I wish I could take it all away, I wish that I could make her happy one last time.

"Smile for me Kristy... one last time." I was finally able to lift my other hand that she was not hugging. I crossed it across my body and gentle petted her head as best as I could, but my hand was shaking.

"No... I'm not ready" She choked out the words through her tears. "I'm not ready to now have you here, to spend Christmas with you... to say I love you everyday."

"We are never ready my girl, but we must let go when it's time."

Kristy finally lifted her heard to look at me. She struggled, but was able to bring a smile to her lips. "If you're ready... you can let go." She whispered softly and wiped the tears from her face. She smiled again and it brought a smile to my own lips. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too Kristy... forever." I felt tired after saying that. Like year of grief had been lifted off my shoulders. I let out a long sigh and finally closed my eyes again. I felt exhausted, as though I had been crying too. Everything felt rather heavy and cold. I couldn't bear the weight my own body brought to me. "I'm going to sleep some more." I whispered softly.

I felt her bring the blanket up to my chin and one last kiss on my hand. I heard her walk to the door. Before she opened the door she must have looked back at me because everything grew silent. I heard the creaking of the door as it opened and closed.

I didn't know what time it was. I stirred from a restful sleep and a wave of heat washed over me oh so very gently. It was the best sensation I had ever experienced before. I didn't want to open my eyes. I felt young and energetic once again, but that peace was so precious it was hard to let go of. I stirred softly before a familiar sound of a train whistle blowing out startled my brain awake and forcing me to open my eyes.

I was no longer in my bed. No. I could no longer hear the beeping of the heart monitors or the sounds of the oxygen mask. Instead, I was looking outside of a clear glass window. Held in my vision before me was a vast expansive field of marigolds. It was the most beautiful think I had ever laid my eyes on. It seemed to go on and on for miles. I smiled softly and took in a sharp breath at how beautiful it was.

The sharp breath stunned me because it didn't hurt. I raised my hand to my chest and my lungs felt so clear. This was the first time in many, many years that I could breath without my lungs filling with fluid or following an intense pain in my lungs. My lungs were clear, my heart was beating perfectly. I looked into the window again and I was no longer the old man dying peacefully in my bed. The vision before me was a young man in his 30's and vibrant. I was wearing a black and blue tuxedo with a blue bowtie. I hadn't seen myself in a suit in nearly 30 years. I looked alive.

"One ticket for Andrew Galloway?" I turned my head to see a beautiful young lady in a black skirt that went down to her waist and a white shirt beneath a blue vest. In the pocket of her vest was a single marigold flower, similar to the ones that we were still speeding besides out of the window. I looked around and finally noticed that instead of being in my bed, I was now on a train that was going who knows where. I turn back to the lady and she is anxiously awaiting my answer.

"A ticket to where?" I finally choke out. I didn't quite understand what was happening. Maybe I had dozed off and this was simply a very weird dream.

"To your Forever Land." She stated dryly. She didn't even wait for me to say anything else before she handed me a slip of paper. I kept my eyes on her and her lips twitched into a smile before he turned on his feet and walked to where I assume the conductor is.

I looked down at the piece of paper and it was a plan ticket with my name printed on it. The edges a sort of dim orange color and the rest of the ticket was white. I read the ticket carefully and surely enough it did say One Way Ticket: The Forever Land. I had never heard of such a place before. I wasn't even sure that such a place even existed. In my mind I was still believing that I was only asleep and I was dreaming.

"You're not dreaming Sir Galloway."

The sudden voice in the air startled me enough to make me jump. I immediately clenched at my chest expecting me to have another heart attack just a being startled. Instead my heart jumped a little bit and after a second it immediately calmed down. I looked over to the over side of the train where I had heard a voice. I was no longer in the train by myself. Instead a very handsome young gentleman was now sitting right next to me. I had never seen a man so majestic looking in my entire life. He looked human enough, but the feelings that he gave me were far beyond human. I simply couldn't explain why, but I felt the same peace I had felt only moment before wash over me once again. I had to hold back the urge to smile.

"Then... where am I?" I finally asked after many seconds of silence between the two of us. "Is this heaven?"

"No. This is just the way we transport you to what humans call Heaven, but what we call, The Forever Land." He turned to me offered a reassuring expression. Instead of shutting my mouth and moving on, I needed to know more. I was so confused.

"What is The Forever Land?"

"Believe it or not... all passengers ask that same question." The man joked and let out a little bit of a laugh. His laughter was so quick and simple that I could discern if it was genuine or not. "I supposed to understand it in human terms... it is your heaven, harmony for the rest of eternity. It is a place that can be anything you want it to be, and you can be with whoever you want to be with."

I blinked a couple of times as though I was still trying to process what he had said. In my head I always imagined that heaven would be the golden gates and angels and clouds and music. I never really thought of it as some place that could be anything I wanted it to be. To be perfectly honest, this was almost more comforting. I spend the rest of my life on a farm, where I can watch the sunset everyday and ride horses. I will always have a fresh cup of black coffee in the morning with eggs, bacon, and pancakes with my wife Margaret sitting next to me and holding my hand. This is my idea of harmony.

"I can see my wife again." Margaret passed away 5 years ago due to heart failure. My biggest fear while I was laying on my deathbed was that I would not get the chance to see my love. That perhaps heaven is not what I believed it to be and I would be spending the rest of eternity alone without my family. I leaned back in my chair and drank in a big sigh of relief.

When I turned my head to look at the man once again I noticed that just like the lady before, this man too was wearing a marigold in his pocket. I looked outside and there were still miles and miles of fields of marigold outside the train. I wanted to reach out and touch them, hold them in my hands again without them shaking or feeling extremely painful. Just as the thought came to mind I looked down at my lap and there, sitting right against my youthful fingers was the gorgeous orange flower.

"What do the marigolds mean?" I finally asked. I lifted the fingers to my face and pressed the soft flower against my nose. It smelled like heaven. My sense of smell had been long gone by the time I had to be confined to a bed. Now I could smell again and it was absolutely beautiful.

"They are your ancestors, each flower is a human spirit, ushering you into this next phase of your life. They are the flowers of the dead, and they welcome you with all of their hearts." The man smiled and I could not help but return the smile. I looked down at the flower in my hands and the only thing I could really think about right now was that I was ready.

I was ready for the rest of eternity. I have been ready to die for weeks. I have embraced my age long ago and I knew that it was finally time. It was finally time to be with my Margaret. It was time to embrace forever with my arms wide open. If the dead were greeting me, that I was reassuring them of this one thing...

"I'm ready."