The Darkness

It’s especially cold tonight-I thought to myself as I looked out the window, at the pouring rain. The cup of tea in my hands had started to grow cold but I quickly finished it; we couldn’t afford to waste. I try to haunt every day. I sometimes catch a beaver-on a good day. Mostly it is plants and questionable fruit. We are lucky we haven't died of poisoning yet. The food is not enough. My sister Swairie and I must ration what we have. There is more food now with father gone, but I’d give away all the food for one more minute with him. The rain quickly turned to hail causing a loud sound on the roof of our tiny house- a sound that had woken up my little sister.

“Clairice, what are you doing?

“Nothing Swairie” I responded. “Just looking at this hail. I should probably get up and prepare you some food.”

“It’s ok I’m not hungry.”

“Not hungry? But you haven’t eaten since yesterday!”

“Yeah, I know, but I just….”

“What is it Swairie”

“My mind, it feels even foggier than before I don’t know it’s like a larger cloud is looming over me and I can’t seem to escape”

A cloud. Papa told me they were once clouds so big and fluffy that you’d want to lay in them. I don’t have many memories of clouds that beautiful. Once, when I was 5 years old, I remember seeing a neat cloud. It was small, and white. Sometimes I have dreams that it expanded and filled the whole sky. But the darkness started to creep up in our world and it has been growing daily destroying the world as we knew it. The streets once filled with laughter and friendly faces-neighbors waving and smiling at each other. Now, it is occasionally lit by a candle held by the shaking hands of those searching for scraps of food-plants, small animals, anything they can find. Nobody looks and smiles at each other; we simply pass by and move along.

“I miss papa.” Swairie said.

“I know, I do too”

One morning, months ago, we woke up and papa was just gone. He left all of his possessions including pictures of mom. My dear sweet souled mom. The darkness enveloped every fiber of her being, she couldn’t bear to live with it, so, she made an irreversible decision. She left us broken and lonely, but I hope that she has found peace.

“Which book are you holding?” I asked Swairie.

“Nothing, I umm found it in papa’s room” said Swairie while biting her lip. She pulled the book closer to her chest, her small arms gripping it. I many times forget she is only 3 years younger than me. The darkness and food scarcity started when she was born; she never had a great chance at living a life full of the things she needed to thrive.

“Is that papa’s diary!”

“I don’t know” said Swairie loosening her grip slightly “I can’t seem to open it even though I’ve been trying for days”

“Days!” I raised my voice unintentionally, making Swairie jump back. The darkness had a frightening impact on her mental health. She was frail not only physically but also mentally.

“I’m sorry, Swairie, I didn’t mean to yell…Why didn’t you tell me you had found his diary”

“I just…I just wanted to keep a part of him only for me. At least for a little while”

I was slightly irritated, but I understood her. She missed papa dearly and she just wanted a piece of him only for herself.

“Can I see it?” I asked her gently

Swairie handed me the diary with hesitancy. It was worn out with what looked like coffee stains on the edges. A picture of my mom and papa taped on the back. What seemed like gold binding wrapped around it, and on the front, the indentation of a heart.

“I don’t see any way that I will be able to open this” I said while trying to pull at the binding.

“That’s too bad It would have been nice to read his thoughts” said Swairie as she stepped in to embrace me.

I prepared some wild beaver and we sat down next to the window to eat. The hail had now turned to light rain. It was soothing to hear the rain falling on the rooftop. I looked up at the sky and saw a parting in the dark clouds with what looked like light shining through. I blinked and opened my eyes, but the light remained. The light expanded until it took the shape of a large heart.

“What is that!” Screamed Swairie as she knocked down her bowl.

“I don’t know Swairie, but it looks like natural light, I remember it!” “Come!” “Try not to be afraid we don’t know how long it will last!”

Swairie, still holding onto our papa’s diary grabbed my hand. I could feel her left-hand shaking, her right hand still holding on to papa’s diary.

“Wow, it’s beautiful” exclaimed Swairie as she looked to the light. “I love you Clairice”

As Swairie said those words the cloud seemed to move closer, as if it was falling toward us.

Suddenly it felt as if it had crashed into us. I felt a warmth flowing through my entire being. Swairies’ now sweaty hand was still holding onto mine. It felt as though the blinding light was penetrating and traveling straight through us.

Next thing I knew we landed on a hard wooden floor.

I looked around, and something felt…off. The house seemed the same, but the furniture was different.

“Who are you and what are you doing here!” I heard a loud voice yell behind me.

I turned and saw a tall, disheveled, man with dark brown hair and green eyes.

“Who are you, and why are you in our house!” Yelled Swairie.

“Your house!? This is my house lady!”

He was clearly agitated. I got up and stepped closer to him trying to reason.

“I don’t know how but we were brought here by a natural light. We came from a house that looked exactly like this”

“Natural light!” “Now I know you’re fibbing!” He said with a laugh. I’ve never seen natural light. I’ve lived without it my entire life.

“Let’s talk, we have to make sense of what’s happening here” I said lightly touching his arm.

At that moment I saw myself, but older, giving birth to a baby boy.

“Woah did you see that?” Asked the man.

“Yeah, that was me like 15 years older than my age.”

“That was my mom.”

“I’m your mother!? But how can that be!?”

“I don’t know, wish I knew. My mom died 10 years after she gave birth to me. She got sick. I think it was a sickness from bad food but I’m not sure.” The man said as tears streamed down his face.

So, I died. Young.

We sat down. Gerald was named after my papa.

“What happened to me?” Swairie asked, her soft voice cracking.

“I don’t know. Last thing I heard from mom was that you ran away thought you could find a way out of this darkness”

As I studied him, I noticed he was wearing a necklace. A gold chain necklace with a heart locket. “That locket. Who gave it to you?”

“You did. You told me it belonged to your father, thought it was the key to opening his diary”

“His diary!” “This one!?” Said Swairie as she placed the diary in the middle of the table.

“Wait, this is too strange, this can’t be happening” I said, getting up and stepping away from the table. “Did you ever try to open the diary?”

“No. You told me that Swairie took it with her the night she left”

I sat down grasping tightly to the edge of the chair.

“Can I see it?” I asked tears welling up in my eyes. The situation was overwhelming to say the least.

“Sure” said Gerald as he handed me the locket.

“And what happened to papa? I mean to your grandpa.” Asked Swairie with a stunned look on her face.

“I never met him” said Gerald while shifting his gaze downwards.

“Mom said he never came back, that he had been gone since, well, since you were twelve” he stated while looking at me.

My heart sank. My papa never came back. I would never see him. I would die without saying goodbye.

I took Swairies’ hand, searching for comfort. I then placed the locket into the heart indentation of the diary. Suddenly, a blinding bright light appeared and once again traveled through us. Slowly the bright light dimmed, and I laid my eyes on a world of light. I looked around in disbelief. There was greenery and sunlight. The park across the street was full with the laughter of children playing together. People were greeting each other with a smile and a wave. This was much like the world I was born into but had lost to the darkness.

Then I saw him. Papa. He looked the same but skinnier. His eyes sunken even more severely into his deep brow. He was surveying his environment and eventually his green eyes landed on us. He dropped to his knees and opened his arms. We ran toward him like our survival depended on his embrace.

“Papa!!! You’re finally with us. We’ve missed you so much.”

“We have to go” he said with urgency. “They are looking for me.”

He grabbed our hands, and we started running down the street. After taking a couple of turns we finally found a hiding spot in a deep groove set in a stone block wall.

“Papa, what is happening? Why are we running?” Swairie and I said in unison.

Papa explained that he used the heart locket to travel back in time through the diary but when he arrived, he realized the locket and diary- that we still held- had stayed behind.

He told us that he left to save us from the darkness. He explained creatures disguised as people had infiltrated our society and were on a journey of destruction. They were in the process of developing a mist that would darken our world. Eventually the change would lead to a permanent darkness infiltrating the minds of people everywhere. This internal darkness would then intensify the one of the mist and lead to destruction of the world of light. Papa had traveled 20 years before my birth to thwart their plan.

“I don’t expect you to stay my loves” he stated as he looked lovingly at us both. “The darkness is strong. I believe there is a way out but the journey I am undertaking has been and will continue to be dangerous.”

Helping Papa fight to save our future world seemed more daunting than the darkness we had lived in for years. But we had to fight for the promise of a future with light. I felt great possibility, but something also felt very ominous.

My papa looked into my eyes and said “I know, I feel it too. Are you sure you want to stay?” “Yes, papa. You need to defeat the darkness and we will stand by you. We love you.” Swairie and I said in unison.