The Conversation Clause

“A NEW SOUL HAS ARRIVED, SHALL I BEGIN ONBOARDING HER?”

“First please announce her name, age and cause of death out loud. New protocols state all communications to be recorded for safekeeping.”

“NAME: JADE RAYE JACOBS. AGE : 52 CAUSE OF DEATH : HOMICIDE.”

“Homicide? We don’t see that cause of death often.”

“SHALL I ALERT ADMISSIONS?”

“No, this shall be an interesting case. In fact, please wipe the last 30 seconds from the record.”

“INTRODUCING JADE RAYE JACOBS”

“What the hell is going on?”

“We’ve been expecting you, dear. Come, sit.”

“What is this place? And what am I doing here?”

“I know how this must feel. However, time is of the essence, and we must begin on time.”

“Begin what exactly?”

“INITIATING PROJECT CONVERSATION CLAUSE: TIME REMAINING 20 MINUTES”

“Never mind. You only get this chance once, try not to overthink. Breathe, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Who can you see, Jade? Close your eyes.”

“My daughter Audrey.”

“Narrow it down. Slow your mind to get the whole picture. Focus on a moment and be specific.”

“April seventeenth. The kitchen. The coffee went cold.”

“What did she ask you?”

“She asked if I was proud of her.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said, ‘You know I am.’”

“You didn’t look up.”

“I was tired.”

“Would you like to respond again?”

“…Yes.”

“She’s asking.”

“I’m proud of you. I was scared you’d fail because I knew how much it would hurt if you did. I should have said that.”

“Say goodbye, Jade.”

“Goodbye, baby.”

“That’s it?”

“For that moment.”

“How many more are there?”

“As many as you’re ready to face.”

“Can she really hear me?”

“We have no way of knowing for certain, we only hope that they feel your presence. Like your words themselves ripple through the void and arrive as a coincidence. A feeling, a sign, that you’re with them.”

“Or else what?”

“You’re going to have to trust the process. Do you see anything now?”

“My ex Chris, pulling up in his rusted truck with the broken windshield. I’m on my parents’ porch, some homemade wine in my hand Mama doesn’t know I stole.”

“Where’s Audrey?”

“This was before my baby girl was born. Hell it may have been the night she was conceived for all I know. The next day he was gone before the sun rose, got what he wanted I guess.”

“Jade, we don’t have to alter things here if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t remember what we said. But if Audrey was the result then it was worth the heartbreak. I’m sure he filled my head with all kinds of dreams of being together.”

“TIME REMAINING 15 MINUTES”

“Why don’t we try something more extreme.”

“There was more with Chris, he got pissed at me for keeping Audrey. Said I was entrapping him on purpose. Made me feel dirty for getting pregnant, as if he didn’t contribute.”

“Is he the reason you’re here? You can be honest with me. Did he hurt you?”

“It’s blank. I can’t remember a thing.”

“Keep trying.”

“I’m telling him I’m pregnant. There’s tests sprawled out on the counter. Tears in my eyes. He’s banging his hands on the door.”

“What can you hear?”

“Ain’t no damn way I can have a baby, you’re out of your mind if you think we can be parents!”

“Relax. Mama had two false positives when she hasn’t been pregnant since the eighties. Scared the living daylights out of her for no good reason. Everything will be just fine.”

“Do you have anything to change here?”

“Yes.”

“Listen, you idiot. It’s not rocket science to figure out how babies are made. You and I did this and now we have to act like adults. That’s what happens when you lay down like adults. So if you’re going to whine about it, go somewhere else.”

“How’d that feel?”

“Like winning the lottery.”

“So when did this guy hurt you?”

“I don’t want to go there.”

“I really think we need to.”

“Why?”

“Things can’t possibly be made worse for you. A ripple big enough to alter your outcome, that’s something worth aiming at.”

“We went from sending signs to creating alternate universes?”

“Precisely. Because you have no better options.”

“TIME REMAINING: 3 MINUTES.”

“What? It said 15 minutes, why is it saying 3 minutes?!”

“The system has noticed a breach in protocol causing a time deduction. This session has been flagged for review by admissions.”

“You said homicide cases were rare.”

“They are not typically onboarded in this program.”

“Because the guides get involved.”

“Because outcomes become unstable.”

“I’m a person, not your liability.”

“I know. The system doesn’t.”

“Fuck the-”

“Jade, we need to move on.”

“No. You do.”

“Admissions has been notified.”

“They’re listening, right?"

“Jade.”

“I did not ruin my life by loving my daughter. I did not deserve what happened to me. And I am not a complication.”

“Those statements cannot be verified. Nor will they matter here.”

“They are still true.”

“TIME REMAINING: 30 SECONDS.”

“Jade, I am sorry.”

“I know.”

“SESSION TERMINATING.”

“I fucking mattered.”