The Confidant

The barn was dark, apart from the light of the full moon that forced its way through the cracks and holes in the old barn roof. Emma missed the constant sounds that accompanied city life, the sirens, the traffic, the raised voices and drunk laughter that came from the Indian takeaway under her flat. The hunger pangs had started on day two. It was now day six. The food she had been left with ran out on day one, as had the water. Emma looked around at what the moonlight touched and tried to find comfort in the now-familiar barn and the cicadas who sang like there would be no tomorrow. She wondered if they knew something that she didn't. The only furniture was the dirty mattress where she spent her days. The spiders had long ago made the corners of the barn their home. The intricate webs they wove her only source of entertainment. She'd loved watching as they caught their prey. She only hoped that her demise would be quicker than that of the flies and moths she'd watched perish.

Emma no longer noticed the noise her stomach made. She'd grown used to it, in the same way she'd grown used to the smell of stale urine and vomit that emanated from the bucket by her bed. Emma never thought she'd be here for as long as she had been. When she initially woke up in the barn, Emma had taken in the surroundings, and her mind was alive with plans to escape. Her bruised and swollen left ankle was a constant reminder that escape was impossible. The steel ankle restraint was old but powerful. At first, Emma walked around the barn, moving as far as the two-metre chain allowed. She'd wanted to keep up her strength. But, as the days turned to nights and her hunger & thirst grew, she became too weak to move off the mattress.

Emma lay on the mattress and stared at the roof, awaiting the arrival of her only friend. Not knowing his name, Emma had taken to calling him Bernard the barn owl. He arrived at what she assumed was the same time every night. It was the one thing that had brought joy over the last six days. She no longer had grand plans of escape. Instead, she wanted forgiveness. Bernard had become her confidant, with his heart-shaped white face and black eyes that shone with kindness in the moonlight. She'd trusted him to keep her secrets.

Emma had spent the day remembering her every mistake. First, there was the time she'd bitten Jenny in nursery school. Then, when she and Jenny stole some nail varnish as teenagers. As the day progressed, Emma felt that her sins got worse. She wanted to apologise to her ex for breaking his heart and leaving him because she was too scared to love him. But, as much as she wished for forgiveness for every regret and mistake that she had ever made, there was one thing she refused to die with on her conscious. She'd been putting off telling Bernard, scared that her honesty would sever the bond between them.

As always, his approach was silent. Lost in thought, Emma hadn't noticed him staring at her with his head on an angle. If he were human, it would show sympathy. Bernard knew his role. He'd been here before, but he was never able to stay once the men showed up. Bernard had tried to swoop down and scare them off once, but the bullet ruffled his feathers as it flew past him into the night. He had his own family to protect. So, Instead of freedom, he offered the women comfort and friendship in their last days.

Finally, Emma looked up and noticed him. The smile was genuine, and as she said, "Hi Bernard." he hooted back in return. Emma sat up slowly, fighting off the wave of dizziness that threatened to topple her back down. She didn't know if this would be her last day, if she would be left here to die of hunger or if the men would return and take her life. The only thing she knew was that she needed to clear her conscience. Looking into Bernard's eyes, Emma began, "This is a big one, Bernard. I hope you can forgive me." She took a breath, and her senses kicked in. There was a noise in the distance that didn't match what she assumed were her surroundings. She listened intently to the low rumble that spread through the night air, disturbing the peace as if it belonged. "There's a car coming, Bernard." She listened again. The ground started to shake beneath her. "There's more than one." The last of the moisture in her mouth disappeared. She didn't know whether she was scared of what would happen to her or that she wouldn't have time to confess. The fear running through her veins had frozen her in place, she wanted to admit everything, but the words wouldn't come. So, Instead, she stared into Bernard's eyes and drank in their kindness. She wanted to imprint them into her mind so that she could close her eyes and picture them when the men arrived.

Emma kept staring at Bernard. He seemed as frozen in place as she felt. The noise was so familiar and so loud. Her brain couldn't focus, and as hard as she tried, Emma couldn't place the sound. Suddenly Bernard was lit up from behind as a beam of light forced its way into the barn. The noise became deafening. Emma covered her ears as she watched Bernard, something was different about him. He kept changing colour, from red to blue. Emma could have sworn he was grey, not that she'd been able to see properly as he only appeared at night. Suddenly the fear gave way to reality. The familiar noise was sirens. Emma's eyes closed as she fell back against the mattress, her body no longer able to hold her up. Bernard stayed on the roof watching over her. These were not the men, he was used to seeing.