The Cleaner
A Story Every Day in 2024 29th Jan 29/366
L.C. Schäfer proposed that she would write a microfiction every day in 2024 and I decided to give it a go too. You can read about that here:
Prompt number twenty-nine:
No prompt today - or if I had to give one, social media.
***
"Well, hello there, Edith. And how are you?"
Ted knelt almost reverently infront of Edith and gently laid out around him all the tools of his job: a small fingernail cleaning brush; a bamboo skewer; a flask of warm water; a bowl; a small bottle of detergent; a dishcloth; an old tea towel.
"Before we start, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Ted and I'd really like it if you'd let me clean you today. I'm not sure if you can hear me but I'm asking because if you can hear me, I want you to know that I respect you and do not wish you any harm by being here."
Ted waited for a sign and when the ground didn't shake and the wind didn't blow off his hat and there were no cracking of branches off trees, he took it as a signal that he was okay to carry on. Sometimes, he felt something, not always obvious but an instinctive feeling which told him that he was not welcome and so, he left well alone. He wasn't doing this to upset: quite the opposite.
He poured a small amount of detergent into the bowl and opened the flask. Steam rose from the water he tipped and he stirred it with his fingertips to make some foam - not too much.
He then took his cloth and gently rubbed it on Edith.
"I hope that's not too hot."
Ted applied the soapy solution.
"That's it. Let's see who you are."
Gradually, features emerged.
"Oh, you're young. For one of the older ones."
Ted continued to wipe away the years from Edith.
"There. You're starting to come through now, Edith Jones. We can see you again! And you are beautifully made!"
He used the fingernail brush to scrub at stubborn growth in Edith's markings and detail. Finally, Ted picked up the bamboo skewer and probed Edith's indentations and crevices. He wiped her with a tea towel and stood up to look at her.
"Edith, it has been a pleasure. People will be able to recognise you now! And be curious!" And he patted the gravestone, gathered his things and left Edith shining in the sun.
***
366 words
Thanks to a local Facebook page for this one and a man advertising that he could clean gravestones.
Thanks for stopping by and if you did read it, please do drop a comment as I love to interact with my readers.
29/366
About the Creator
Keep reading
More stories from Rachel Deeming and writers in Fiction and other communities.
A Writer Named Christie
Three days until the end of January and I will have written a story every day for a month! Hopefully, there will have been a lot of variety. I will continue to endeavour to write something every day. Here's to three more days of January and to welcoming February in, the month of romance and extra days every so often.
By Rachel Deeming2 years ago in Fiction
"Hear Me Out"
"Hear me out, what if we ran away together?" "Where do you want to go?" "Anywhere but here. We could move to a new city or to Canada, or we could disappear from society to live in the middle of the woods. Maybe a combination of two of those things would be good. What do you say?"
By Kay Husnick7 days ago in Fiction
Comments (8)
Loved reading this one- my favourite I think! Such a simple but effective story, and it didn’t need any words than this to tell. Ted sounds like a wonderful man:)
On TikTok, I follow Manic Pixie Mom. She cleans gravestones and also researches the history of the person whose gravestone she's cleaning. She would explain their cause of death and also go more into the stories of that person's family members and what happened to them. It's all so interesting! Loved your story! Ted is so humble and respectful!
I always have admired the people who clean the headstones. I thought at first he might have worked at the funeral home. At the hospitals I've worked, there is care done for the recently deceased. It was an honor to present to the family their loved ones without tubes/lines/reminders of their illness...and make them as natural as we could so the family could say goodbye before the funeral staff came to get them.
This is a wonderful story, Rachel, beautifully told even before we got to the surprise ending. That Ted is a sensitive guy, a truly good man.
Such a lovely, intriguing and surprising story! I love the reverence implied in his tool selection and his requesting permission to clean 'her.' How on earth did you come up with this one, Rachel? A true delight!
It’s bit like that isn’t it.. ☺️😔 Nicely done! 👏
Oh this is lovely! When you said social media I thought he might be personifying a pc. Ai strokes different folk differently I suppose!
Creating and solving a charming, reverent mystery in 366 words is no small accomplishment. Deftly done!