The Birthday Present

It was a huge mistake. How he hadn’t seen that from the beginning was beyond him. And there was no way to take it back – what was done, was done, and now he just hoped she believed him.

It had been hard to figure out a way to talk to her. Not because she was unfriendly, but because he had never liked someone so much. No, he had never admired someone so much. There was something about her, beyond the obvious – how pretty and talented she was. There was a dignity about her. Even how she was seemingly alone most of the time. There was something dignified about it. And Jeremy had never known anyone like that before. Someone who made him want to be better than he was.

Jeremy had been popular since the start of high school. Not due to anything he had done, but just because he was naturally good at sports, which made him part of the “in” group. He was on the football team, so he got invited to the football parties, and he was on the basketball team, so he got invited to their parties too. He would have much rather hung out with his best friend Daniel Kim, who was a swimmer, obsessed with math and chemistry, wanted to study physics at Berkeley, and who had moved to Boston with his parents over a year ago. Jeremy really wanted a scholarship to college, so he could go out of state. He wanted to get out of Asheville. And basketball, maybe even football, could be his ticket. But, they weren’t what he really loved. What Jeremy really loved, was singing.

He had noticed her before. Her frizzy red hair a halo around her, tucked back with barrettes. The way she moved through school with space around her, like nothing really touched her. She wore headphones a lot, and he wondered sometimes what she was listening to. There was something about her face – innocent looking, freckled, with an occasional big smile that made him feel a little funny, even when it wasn’t directed at him.

Then, one day after a football game in the early fall, when it was just starting to cool off in the evenings, he heard someone singing. He followed the sound, and discovered a quartet rehearsing in a classroom. It was her – Kelly Legree, singing the lead part of Beyonce’s “If I Were A Boy,” while three students backed her up with harmonies, and ooh’s and aaah’s. Watching Kelly sing, her voice moving like velvet through his body, had solidified one fact: He liked Kelly Legree. A lot. The quartet hadn’t noticed him, and he snuck away before they finished.

He had seen Dean Hargrove make fun of her, calling her fat, big girl, and other things he didn’t want to think about. He didn’t get it. He thought Kelly was sexy, gorgeous even. Sure, she wasn’t rail thin like some of the cheerleaders, or other girls, but he preferred the way she looked. He figured Dean was intimidated by her. Still, the way Dean teased her disgusted Jeremy, and he intended to say something if it happened again.

Jeremy started to obsess about how to talk to Kelly. When he sang in his car, he imagining doing a duet with her. It felt foolish, but he couldn’t help it. Just knowing she existed, made Jeremy feel excited in a way he never had.

Once, in the hallway at school, he passed her at her locker. Spontaneously, he stopped and stood by her. She looked at him, confusion written on her face.

“Hi,” she said, uncertainly.

“Hey,” he said. “I just wanted to say hi.” It wasn’t what he had meant to say, but it was all he could think of.

“Really?” she said, sounding doubtful. “Is this a joke? I’m not stupid.”

“No!” It came out louder than he intended. Normally people trusted him, he had never been one to participate in stupid pranks and teasing. “Just saying hi,” he repeated dumbly.

She slammed her locker closed. “Right,” she said, and walked away. And that was that. At least, for a while.

Jeremy’s mom had died of ovarian cancer when he was six. He barely remembered her. His dad, a car salesman, had become depressed and been in and out of hospitals since then. When his dad had to stay at a hospital, him and his little sister, Ellie, had to stay at their uncle’s house. Their Uncle Richard lived alone on the other side of town, in an apartment. They slept in the living room on the floor in sleeping bags, and ate leftover macaroni and cheese for breakfast. Uncle Richard smoked, and his apartment smelled like cheese puffs and seaweed. He had a fish tank he didn’t clean.

Jeremy learned to keep things to himself, since his dad was easily stressed. His dad was good at work apparently, sold well when he was on an upswing, but often collapsed at home, watching television all night, looking lifeless.

At school, Jeremy missed Daniel, and even though he went to practice, he generally kept to himself. And then a miracle happened.

Kelly Legree’s phone slipped from her hands and hit him in the head.

He was locking up his long board when it happened.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” She was suddenly in front of him, her face contorted in regret and concern.

“Yeah,” he grinned.

She smiled back.

They started talking, and walking to class together. Then he made sure he was around to walk with her again, and again. He told her his secret about singing, and she told him about her quartet, and how she was in the city choir. He pretended not to know about the quartet. And then, he got up the nerve to ask her something.

“Would you help me try out for the city choir?”

“Seriously?” She jumped excitedly, walking backwards and facing him. “You really want to? I know the perfect song for you,” she said, as though she had already been thinking about it.

Something about her, her smell, her walk, the way she bounced around excitedly when talking about something she liked. The way she smiled like she didn’t expect anything, but was pleasantly surprised when something good happened. Jeremy liked everything about her. And he felt different since hanging out with her. He noticed the breeze, and the sky. And he stopped going to parties, and started singing more, in the kitchen, and even in the hallway at school.

They started meeting every week. Kelly helped him breathe better, and hold notes longer, and project his voice. She picked the perfect song for him: “Piano Man,” by Billy Joel. He hadn’t heard it since he was little, but when she played it for him, he knew it was the one.

He learned that Kelly was an only child, and that she had lost a parent too – her dad. Her parents were already divorced when he died and she had never really known him, even though he only passed away a few years ago. He learned that she had transferred from another school because she was getting bullied there, and that she had been taking voice lessons since seventh grade. And, that she had never had a boyfriend. She mentioned it casually one day, when they were talking about singing.

“Sing ooooh, with your mouth closed, like this, like you’re going to kiss someone.” She laughed, “not that I would know.”

“What? You’ve never kissed someone? I find that hard to believe,” Jeremy joked with her, trying to keep it light, but curious nonetheless.

“Nope, not yet,” her eyes flashed mischievously, and Jeremy wondered what it meant.

Kelly’s birthday was coming up, and Jeremy had a surprise planned. Jeremy was going to bake her a cake, and he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, and if things went the way he wanted, he would kiss her.

He hadn’t planned out all the details, just the cake part, and seeing her smile, and possibly blow out some candles.

He settled on a chocolate cake, since it seemed universal. He bought the ingredients with his lifeguarding money, and asked his dad for a whisk.

“I’ll do you one better,” his dad said, and produced an electric mixer.

Jeremy stayed up late to take the cake out of the oven, and fell asleep on the couch while it cooled. In the morning, he snuck it into her homeroom with three unlit birthday candles he found in his kitchen drawer, and her name poorly drawn in blurry white icing.

By second period Jeremy learned that his birthday plan had gone horribly wrong.

There was an announcement about bullying over the intercom, an assembly called, and a half-day declared by the principle.

Then he heard Missy Bleaker, a girl with short brown hair who wore lots of bracelets, say it:

“I heard Dean baked her a cake. I think it said something terrible on it.”

“Wait, what?” Jeremy felt heat rising through his body. He thought he might be sick. “Dean did what to who?”

Missy turned to Jeremy. “You’re friends with her right? She went home crying.”

Jeremy tore out of the classroom. He needed to find Kelly.

Kelly lived on third street. He had walked her home once, doing tricks on his board, trying to impress her. It had seemed to work, since she said “Nice one” when he ollied off the sidewalk. Now, Jeremy grabbed his board and skated fast all five blocks. When he got there he used the brass knocker.

It was a small, one story ranch, with a screen door with the screen half pulled out. A woman answered. She had red hair, and it hung straight and heavy. She looked pale and worried.

“Yes, can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Jeremy. Is Kelly home?”

“Oh Jeremy, yes,” She nodded, “Thanks for coming by. Unfortunately, it’s not a good time.”

“But there’s something I have to tell her, something she needs to know.”

Kelly’s mom paused. Then she said, “Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I’ll tell her you stopped by.”

Jeremy nodded, turning his head away, so she wouldn’t see his eyes fill with tears.

Out on the street, he texted her.

I really need to talk to you.

No response.

Please Kelly, there’s something you need to know.

Finally, she texted.

Not right now, Jeremy. I’m sorry. Let’s hang out soon. XO.

He wrote:

I baked the cake.

Then waited.

What?!

He heard a door slam and looked up. It was Kelly. Her face was swollen and red. She stood with her hands on her hips.

“You are the biggest asshole I’ve ever met.” Her voice was low, froggy. “I can’t believe I was ever friends with you.”

Jeremy walked closer, “You don’t understand. I baked the cake for your birthday. I don’t know what Dean did, but it had nothing to do with me. I left it in homeroom for you, as a surprise.”

“It said something awful on it. You didn’t do that?”

“Oh god,” Jeremy shook his head, and the tears started spilling. He couldn’t stop them. His voice cracked but he talked anyway, “I would never do that to you. I don’t know what he wrote. But I love you, Kelly, I would never do that.”

Kelly stared at him, her face suddenly clear. “You love me?”

Jeremy backed away, shaking his head. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.”

Kelly walked up to Jeremy. Her face was right in front of his. She reached up, and wiped his cheek.

He looked at her, “Yeah, I guess I do. Love you, that is.”

Then, he kissed her. It was salty, from the tears that had spilled onto his lips. But also, sweet. She laughed. “You’re dumb.”

He laughed, “Why?”

“You baked me a cake.”

“Yup, guess I did,” he said, grinning.