The Best Day Of My Life

“I’m a princess in a tower waiting for my prince to slay the dragon and rescue me.”

Nestled in this lush green countryside the birds and insects sing their praises of a beautiful day. In gratitude for the stunning nature surrounding us. This chateau was all I ever dreamed about, and I knew this was the dress of my fantasies as soon as I saw it drape my silhouette in my reflection in the shop’s mirror.

“You look stunning.” My mother gushed.

“Like you stepped out of a fairytale.” My younger sister, Meg, looked at me in admiration.

Today, as I look out of the chateau’s highest window overlooking carefully sculpted gardens, the scent of the perennials and hydrangea trees urge me to follow their aroma down the grand staircase into the fragrant garden oasis and beyond. But, what lay beyond ties my stomach in knots.

My sister’s words sound in my mind, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

If my unruly curls would stay as tame, my cheekbones as naturally blushed, and my figure as perfect as my hours at the gym preparing for this day would allow, maybe I would feel some relief. Instead the view of the countryside in the distance is marred by fear and trepidation.

“This is the moment you’ve always dreamed of” I tell myself. I take a breath and focus my gaze out of my princess tower. The sun’s rays from high in the summer sky casts its light on the landscape. Veiled through pollen and cottonwood seeds, its effect on the rolling hills and meadow is like an invitation to a warm embrace. For a moment fear dissipates into the beautiful scene which soothes the quick beat of my heart’s anticipation. My thoughts carry me to the time I was Meg’s age and dreamed about a moment like this. Where my Prince Charming awaited at the end of my journey from adolescence to adulthood, and swept me away to romance I could only imagine.

Now having made the journey and standing in the precipice, the joy I imagined is hiding behind apprehension. The rite of passage of my dreams is shadowed by the rites of dating and the rocky path I traveled to the present moment. I didn’t know Travis had an addiction or Carl had a wife, what will I learn in a lifetime with Prince Charming?

I hear the faint sound of horse shoes clopping below, disturbing nature's symphony. I look down to see my horse and carriage is ready to carry me along the path through the hills and meadow to the magical forest where my Prince awaits.

Meg runs out of the chateau to greet the top-hatted coachman and get permission to pet his horse. The scene is almost surreal. I feel as if I’m only partially a part of it. Like my childhood self made all the arrangements and the adult I am today is merely taking a glimpse. But it’s not a peek at someone else’s life and decisions, it is my own. My actions followed a linear line of what my young heart told me I always wanted. A life with a man who would always adore me, children who would make us both proud, and the admiration from our peers who would make our relationship their “goals”. Now I question if this was ever really mine or just a fantasy I called a goal. Sure, he loves me and I am quite sure I love him. But the path to my adulthood showed me many ways to love. Could I be perfectly happy to wake up in the chateau’s master suite greeted by the rising sun and morning birds, alone? My feet hitting the cold floor as a pleasant reminder that I am awake and a new day awaits for me to explore without the need to share it with another? Or would I be constantly looking around the corner for something or someone to arrive?

I turn to the mirror and run my finger along a tendril of my brunette curls. I then run my hands down the front of my silky bridal gown. Suddenly the birds are quiet and the humming insects have halted their chorus. Maybe I just needed this moment to see…

There is a knock at the door, “come in” I answer.

My mother cracks open the door and pokes her head in.

“Alison, it’s time.” She says.

And it is.