The Agreement

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The machine was humming under the dying fluorescent light. The cat was ready.

“Hello.”

The machine clicked and made noises as it focused on its visitor. The deal was that the cat would share what information it had from the neighbourhood and then it would get a treat. But tonight, Mr. Benjamin was waiting for its reward. The machine waited for a moment before it decided to break the silence.

“You ain’t gonna talk?”

“I will. But I want my treat first.”

A clicking and whirring sound got quieter and quieter in the machine. The cat sat and blinked.

“That is not our deal.”

“Well, I want to change the deal. This doesn’t seem really fair to me. I go around the entire neighbourhood and do what I do, and then come back here for a snack.” He paced for a moment and sat again, making sure his tail was well fluffed. “It does not seem fair.”

“You have a gift, and I have one, too. We need to share it…with only each other.”

With only each other… Awkward, but what did you expect from a snack machine, anyway? Mr. Benjamin was a brown tabby that had lived in the new neighbourhood for over a year before it even approached the local grocery store. And to be honest, he only did that out of boredom. There were so many secrets that he had picked up, just on the one block, that he was feeling bored enough to share them with anyone who would listen (who could listen). And there he was, an old snack machine that had probably been abandoned by the shoppers and owners (why did they even need a snack machine at a supermarket, he wondered). A small packet of jerky beef landed at his feet and he looked up at the glass front of the machine. It knew what he wanted and he told the story of Mr. and Mrs. Bertle and how they were both cheating with Mr. and Mrs. Charlton…and the other pair had no clue what was going on.

“You remember the first time I gave you a treat?”

“Yeah, I remember. Hard not to remember a talking snack machine…”

A few gears were grinding hard near the change dispenser. Mr. Benjamin knew this meant that the machine was annoyed.

“Never out loud. I never do that. I only talk to you, like, in our heads like. So we don’t freak out anyone around us.”

If he could smile, Mr. Benjamin would be doing so right now.

“But why do you need to know all this stuff? You never told me…”

Another treat popped out. This time, it was a long pepperoni stick. Mr. Benjamin loved these (his favourite, if he was honest), although he hated having to open the packages. He had not been declawed, but it was still tricky to open the wrapper.

“Happy now?”

“Oh, yes!”

It had been over a week since they had spoken. There had been new families moving into the neighbourhood, and Mr. Benjamin had to charm his way into their homes. This was not too hard. Two of them had children – girls were so easy to play – and he learned about their families after one night of milk and another one of playing with a group of them at a sleepover. It would probably be a bad idea to trust your money to the first family, and no one with any sense would leave a group of underage girls with the mother or father of the latter. But humans were very strange creatures. They could not sense what was wrong through scent and touch. They had to wait until things were discovered by accident and then cause so much pain and damage to their lives. Very strange…

“Wow, that is a very disturbing tale you tell…”

Mr. Benjamin chewed through a piece of spicy meat. “Imagine learning all of that when you were just looking for something to eat. Amazing what these people will do.”

“Indeed.” The humming was consistent and the machine seemed happy.

“This is delicious.”

“So are your stories. They are a real comfort back here.”

Mr. Benjamin stared carefully at the machine. This was a quiet area, even with the people inside Cooper’s Market. Was it lonely? Was it possible for a machine to be lonely?

“I’ll be back in less than a week.”

“Right.”

“No really. I am going to check out one new couple. They are very quiet, but I am sure that I can get her to spill things when he’s in the office. They are both homebodies and he has… Well, I’ll save it.”

“Okay. I’ll have more snacks ready for you.”

“Great!” It finished up the last of the stick, almost belching with the spiciness. “I’ll be back.”

The machine whirred and shut down its gears, even the indoor light blinked off.

Mr. Benjamin still had questions as he walked along the unfinished roadway to Chambers Village, but they did not seem that important tonight. For one, what was the machine’s name? It never shared that information or told him if it was even a man or woman (with a cat, it would all be obvious; he heard its voice, but still...). And why were his psychic skills being used for all of this diving for secrets? It was a nice trick, but there was no one else to share it with (no other cats he encountered had this skill). Why did it need this stuff?

Machines can be very strange, too.

There was one other thing.

Those snacks tasted...funny. And he had strange dreams after he finished them. One was about dogs suddenly taking over the world and the Devil appearing to gather up all the cats... He even had one where he saw himself inside the machine...as a snack...

Just silly.

He walked with his tail up in the moonlight. He was going to have a lot of stories to tell.

*

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