"Tethered"

I sit mesmerized by the orange and pink hues of the rising sun, but the red, the red, is what captures my attention. Power and boldness radiate off of the sun, emitting not only heat but also fueling my hope. The rising dawn reminds me not only of what I have lost but what I know in my heart I can save. We have to keep hoping; we have to keep fighting; we have to keep surviving. Our future depends on it. Jules depends on it.

As the last embers of the sun rise from the horizon, I am reminded of my sister. It’s been a year since I last saw her in New Orleans, one year before the world went up in flames, one year before our lives changed forever. I wish I could go back to that day and hug her one last time. That when she clings to me, begging me to stay, I stay.

Its thoughts like these keeping me from returning to my brothers. They do not understand. The guilt I carry for getting on that train, the guilt I carry for leaving her behind. That’s why it is important that I make it back to New Orleans, back to Jules. As I rise from the field and head back toward camp, I can feel the weariness leave my bones; it is time to go.

As I near the clearing, my brother Mark runs to meet me. “What took you so long?” “I lost track of time," I answer, even though we both know I was really lost in my thoughts. As I approach him, he pulls me in and embraces me in one of his bone-crushing bear hugs. Once he releases me, I ask, “What was that for?” He looks sad for a moment and says, “I just thought we both could use it.” He smiles and walks back towards camp and to our older brother Jacob who is already packing our things, preparing for the journey.

“We need to head out if we want a shot of catching the train” Despite all that’s happened, it still amazes me that the trains are still running. I guess the people that manage them have no home to return to. The trains give them purpose, the same way my family does for me. With all the bags packed, Jacob leads us down the mountain and through the clearing, past the field, soon onto the road.

Though it seems we have walked for days, we make it to the train depot by noon. It is deathly quiet, abandoned completely except for the conductor. I wonder how Jacob plans on paying for our passage. Since the Red Death, no one exchanges currency anymore. All you can trade is what goods you have.

We arrive at the ticket counter and realize all the little old man is accepting for passage are medical supplies. Jacob searches his backpack, but we have not seen so much as a Band-aid in months. Realizing we have no way of getting to Jules, my brothers walk away crestfallen. I stare into the distance to prevent my tears from falling, and that is when I see her.

She looks to be around 60, with long tresses of white hair. Her eyes seem to read my thoughts. I see her glance at me, then walk across the tracks towards the tree line. I do not know what it was, but something in me told me I had to follow her. I looked back at my brothers, who had taken a seat on a nearby bench discussing how we would make it, and decided they would not miss my absence if I were quick.

I followed the woman into the trees and eventually came upon the greenhouse. I gingerly stepped inside, and the woman turned to me, holding half of a heart-shaped locket. It was beautiful, made of gold with silver vines snaking their way around the heart, encasing whatever lay inside. Sadly it was missing its other half. She stepped toward me and held it to my heart. She motioned for me to take it, so as I held the locket in my hand, she placed bandages into my backpack. I turned around to say Thank you, but as quickly as she appeared, she had disappeared.

I left the greenhouse and made my way back to the train depot, I ran to my brothers, and as I presented them with the bandages, they were speechless. Mark stuttered, “Where did you get these?”

Jacob took the bandages and hustled to the conductor. He was able to buy us all passage. As we boarded the train, I wondered where the woman had come from; I thought that maybe angels do exist. And as we left the train station, I looked into the trees and saw no trace of the greenhouse. It was like it had never been.

I held my locket in my hands and felt a connection to my mysterious savior, and for a brief moment, I had faith that everything was going to be ok. I tucked the locket beneath my shirt, wanting to keep its magic to myself. Its presence gave me comfort as we began the journey.

I know that I should sleep while I have the chance, but I cannot stop watching the window with intent. All the trees and rivers, all the animals, but never people. Because the people are gone. As the train curves its way around the countryside, I think about my father.

Years ago, he would play with me, always being the seeker when I would hide. He would let me win at ping pong, and he always told the best jokes. That all ended when my mother died. After her death, he left and married a woman down in the Bayou. Although I resent him for moving so far away and being happy with someone else, I cannot hate him. Without him, I would not have Jules.

As I watch the landscape roll by, all of my memories of happy times flit through my head. I think about the way things used to be before everyone got sick. Before everyone began to die. I wonder why I was spared, why my family was spared. Some say it was genetics, others a miracle, but for some, they believe it a curse. Who wants to continue living when you have nothing to live for.

Soon we reach New Orleans; as we disembark, the conductor looks at the silent city and says, "This used to be my home, now it is my torment." We watch as he takes off his hat and stands somber. We all feel the pain seeping into our skin, the cold chills in our veins. No one believed this could happen, and yet we stand here, survivors of the most deadly virus known to man.

I grasp my locket, willing it to give me strength as Jacob and Mark lead the way into the city. As we pass the unkempt houses and the empty streets, I am reminded of how quickly something so beautiful can become forlorn and dark. As we go deeper into the city, the stench of bodies is pungent.

Most people were burned in the beginning, but eventually, there was no one left the burn the bodies. Everyone began to flee, hopeful for survival. But even hope dwindles as the days become longer and joy becomes scarcer.

Eventually, we near the house, and my footsteps quicken, my heart beating wildly. I race forward and open the door, yelling, "Jules! Jules! Dad!" No one answers. The house is quiet.

Mark and Jacob search the entire house, but it is empty. I look around the house; surely they left me a message, surely they would not just leave and not tell us where they were going. There are no messages.

I walk outside, the anxiety ripping through my body to my core. Mark tries to comfort me, but I push him away; I cannot bear to think of what I will do if I cannot find her. That is when I feel it.

As I sit there on the front steps, tears welling in my eyes, I look down and see my locket. That locket gives me the courage to stand up. It moves me forward. It gives me strength. I can feel it telling me my sister is close.

As I walk down the street calling for Jules, I pass by more unkempt houses and meet more than a few cats. Then I reach the end of the road and see a field of flowers, a dead end. In that field, I can see two freshly dug mounds and my father standing over them with a shovel.

I cannot breathe as I watch him pat the dirt into place. He drops to his knees as sobs overtake his body. That is when I see it in his hand. He clutches the other half of my locket. The locket was never leading me to my sister but to my father.

Jules knew he needed me; that is why she led me to him. She led me home. My father was lost without his Jules; that is why he needed me now, his Joy.