Take It Away

Those fiery fields...

Those plush clouds...

It was a place I would think of in a dream, a dream from which you awaken feeling oddly sore, yet completely rejuvenated... and happy.

It was the happiness, that's what this place was.

I sat atop a lone rock, it sat a few inches off of the ground and it looked like a ragged reclining chair. I came here as a boy and would dig up worms from the rich soil, I was always fond of this place. I remember the first time I brought a marigold home, I gave it to my mother who set it on a windowsill in the living room.

This flower, this marigold was special she would tell me. It was like a guardian who would always watch over us. It would always keep us together...

No matter what...

That Thursday morning I cried, I remembered my mother and the marigold. And though I was happy, I cried. She was here with me, I could feel it, watching as the sun rose above the clouds. Those plush clouds lit up, a golden crimson; matching the fiery field below.

That morning...

That fateful Thursday...

It began with a breeze, it grabbed me by my arms and ruffled my bronze hair. I felt the wind caress my bicep before whipping my cheek. I felt a jolt tingle down my spine.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of enlightenment, the breeze grew heavy before passing me by.

Falling to the ground, the wind dragged against the grass; lifting pollen, pushing flying insects and bending larger weeds. Approaching a dirt path the wind tossed dust into the air, momentarily shrouding the vast field of flowers. In that instance, in the single moment that dust fell back toward the ground, I glimpsed it; that eerie shape like a ten headed beast with the wings of an eagle gliding across the ground.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of excitement, the wind etched in my memory forever.

Reaching the field of flowers the howl rose, like the shriek of a hawk it beckoned the field to life. Thousands, if not millions of insects filled the air weaving up and down. Their dance was exotic, generating stunning corkscrews and various shapes as if they were a school of fish in a vast sea of air.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of fear, a primordial feeling to our soul.

As the wind passed through the field I watched as it pressed gently against the flowers, its haunting howl fading in the distant like a far away memory. Around the field the air relaxed, the insects returned to their post within those golden red fields. Behind those flowers another blanket of dust billowed shrouding the horizon, my primordial fear returned catching the glimpse of that heavy winds visage. Heavy... not in speed but in weight.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of wholeness, as if a long time duty was fulfilled.

Watching as that wind left toward the horizon, I witnessed the clouds parting in the sky, as if opening a gate for the wind to return home. Hanging thick in the air I watched as the sun's rays penetrated the pollen bringing its warm light to the field. Like in a dream, I thought I would wake up... and my happiness would be gone.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of understanding, a shift in my consciousness.

That day, my life was changed forever. I had recently lost my job and was facing a foreclosure. On my way to a local hardware store to reply to a help wanted ad I received a call from a corporate banker. Believing it to be a call about my foreclosure I almost didn't answer.

I felt compelled to answer...

I was happy I answered that call, though it was the bank that held my mortgage the call was actually an offer of employment. I was overjoyed, I accepted the job and found myself paying off my mortgage in a month. I had returned to the marigold field everyday after that day... to no avail.

Until Thursday...

That fateful Thursday...

Like clockwork it happened again, every Thursday. I saw the great winged wretch that took the form of the wind and stirred the marigold field to life before departing into the gate in the sky. From there my luck grew tenfold; I won a local lottery and used some of that money to pay off my mortgage. I put one-hundred thousand dollars into my savings account and walked down to a local orphanage and donated the remainder. It was the best I felt in life, I had my home, a stable job and was looking forward to every morning.

I felt the happiness...

I could finally bring my mother home...

Next to that marigold she put there, all those years ago...

The day I paid my mortgage I called the facility that held her, that same day she arrived. I had already cleared a spot for her under the windowsill and had a bunch of marigolds in a vase when she arrived. She was in a medically induced coma after an accident happened one autumn morning.

Under the watchful eye of the marigold guardian she stayed...

Transposed between life and limbo...

With the return of my mother, her orchard sprang back to life. Her one acre garden in the backyard was lush and producing a variety of fruits and vegetables. My home was back, like I remember it as a child. Not the gloomy, dark mess it had been since my mother had left late last year. It was as if the land around the house was spiritually linked to my comatose mother. But life...

Life is fragile, like an urn on display in a museum...

If I knew what I knew now, I would have never gone back to that field on that Thursday, that last Thursday of the autumn season. It began much like every other Thursday this year. But as I said, life is fragile, and not perfect whatsoever, and then there is fate.

Those fiery fields...

Those plush clouds...

This place, this dreamscape seemed as though a portal to a dimension full of energy, leaving me to feel peaceful... and happy.

It washed over me, the happiness of it all.

It began with the wind, that once gentle breeze that touched my soul. Its pressure felt different, heavy... like a boa constrictor binding its prey. I struggled to move, I couldn't breathe. It grew tighter the more I struggled. My ears rang, my heart pounded. I tried to scream.

Nothing...

I awoke seconds later pinned to the rock bench I used for dozens of weeks before. There I saw it, the shadow of the wretched ten-headed flying beast; like the shadow of a flame it soared toward the marigold meadow. Uprooting bushes, breaking tree limbs and provoking chaos as it trampled toward the distant sun.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of ignorance, I felt betrayed and naïve.

Nearing that dirt path the howling wind grew into a trumpeting roar that shook my ear drums. Dust and small stones were hurled from that path toward the crimson gold field. Those normally timid and communal insects were erratic and alone as they flew away in every direction, away from the path of the incoming rampaging winds.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of partiality, lying there, unable to move.

Clusters of insects were ripped from the air, their black carapaces being slammed back to the earth. I felt sympathy for these creatures who like me enjoyed the fruits of this wind spirit until this wretched day, this everlasting Thursday morning. All I could do was weep.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of confidence, a resurgence of strength swelling inside.

My palms were touching the rock beneath me. I knew I had to get up, I had to escape like the insects. With every ounce of strength in my body I tried lifting myself up. I felt powerless, I tried again to stand. I think I managed to exhale something that sounded like a squealing pig. It was useless, I watched as the marigolds were ripped apart, their flowers littering the air.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of indifference, I felt discarded and forgotten.

Lying there helpless I expected to be teleported into this alternate dimension where crimson gold surrounds everything and all is happy. It never came, the air became gloomy; the clouds darkened in the sky and I felt for the first time in a while misfortune and despair. I wept again, hoping to once again summon the strength to get up or even utter a single word.

I exhaled...

It was a moment of incomprehension, the severance of a connection.

Through the gnashing wind, and the crackling of breaking wood I could hear my phone. The ringtone being drowned out by the rapturous noise caused by the powerful wind. I couldn't grab for my phone, but I could feel everything as if I was connected with the world. A divine feeling that I knew meant I had become whole and was awake in a dull world. It was the end.

I felt compelled to answer...

I knew what it was...

She said the marigold guardian would keep us together... forever. And that is just what it did. So I lay looking out the windowsill, where that dried out marigold has been... all those years.